HOW CAN I ASSIST A SELF-HARMING PERSON?
Vernika Tanwar
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Self-harm is a scary topic, and not everyone feels comfortable talking about it. It’s common for people to think that self-harmers do it to gain attention. Nevertheless, this is not the situation. Self-harming is perceived differently by different individuals. Injuries might be minor or severe and sometimes result in scars, bruises, or health issues. Self-harm is not a way to kill yourself, but rather a way for individuals to cope with mental pain or handle their own difficult emotions.? It's a heartbreaking realization to know that someone you know has started to injure themselves.? It is critical to address this issue with understanding and attention from their loved ones and to support the individual on their healing journey. Although, it’s understandable that you want to assist, knowing where to begin might be challenging.
?WHY PEOPLE SELF-HARM?
When someone is constantly stressed out and unable to regulate their miserable state of mind, they may start hurting themselves, often without obvious cause.10% of youth self-harm by the time they are 16 years old, according to a 2012 research. It may occur to people of age group and there is no specific gender. As per the data from England, self-harm accounts for at least 200,000 presentations to emergency departments each year by people of all ages. The frequent misunderstanding that people who self-harm are all suicidal which are related to an increased risk of suicidal urges. The following are some indicators that someone is self-harming: -
·?A long history of abuse or bullying
·?It is often used to cope or express feelings and they cut themselves to turn their emotional pain into physical pain which is easier for them to bear.
·?Some people self-harm to release stress, and distress from memories, feel in control, avoid feelings, communicate the pain, or punish themselves
·?Sometimes to feel something as if they feel no emotion or have too many emotions or blackout with negative thoughts.
·?Living with mental illness e.g. depression or anxiety
Self-harm may provide a temporary relaxation, However, it frequently leaves behind guilt and humiliation in addition to mental anguish. While they may not mean to damage themselves, doing so usually worsens the situation in the long run. ?
HOW TO DETECT A SELF-HARMING PERSON?
It could be challenging to spot someone who has begun self-harming since they might not want other people to know. Some signs that someone is self-harming are as follows: -
·?Unknown reasons for bruises or cuts particularly on hand.
·?Wearing long sleeves clothes in not-so-appropriate weather
·?Making frequent excuses about the injury.
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·?Carrying any sharp objects without any reason.
·?Low self-esteem
·?A sudden Self-isolation
·?Avoid any kind of relationships
HOW TO APPROACH A SELF-HARMING PERSON?
Being present for someone is what matters the most. We should not be afraid to make errors because emotional connection is typically what people seek most. Parents might try to take all sharp objectives, but this is not a solution. We need to focus on emotions instead of self-harming behavior. They can injure themselves with sticks, staples, fingernails, or teeth. Someone can't quit, but they can take the following steps to assist a self-harmer: -
·?True Listening: -? it is very simple but just listening truly can make them feel better. One needs to understand that person ask them about their feelings, and emotions, and pay close attention to them. From research based on the leaflet, the top tips are to be curious and to ask questions like I notice some scratches on your arms. It can be a self-harming trait. We can discuss it and this is fine. I care for you. This conversation can lead to the exposure of embarrassment, guilt, and shame. If that person is not ready to talk, knowing that you are willing to listen, might give hope they need to hold on to.
·?Encourage them that there is hope: - If you are concerned about a suicidal individual, suggest that they seek professional care, and then follow up to ensure that this occurs. Cutting yourself is not life threatening but some emotions need to be solved. They can be fixed and that person can feel better. Try to make that person understand that he/she will not be like this if they take professional help.
·?Refrain from passing Judgements: - Self-harm carries a lot of stigma. People could feel overly sorry for themselves, which might increase their emotional discomfort and make them less eager to talk about it. Inform that person in your life that they are not required to apologize or express regret and you won’t judge them for their actions no matter what and help them to find a solution.
·?Recognize that self-harm is not a cry for attention: - People who are close to someone who self-harms need to understand that it is not an attention-seeking tactic but rather a technique of coping with painful feelings. Empathize with their situation, and let them know that you accept their truth.
When it comes to self-harm, it's vital to keep in mind that everyone has a different idea of healing. Having the proper resources and a strong support network can go a long way towards assisting someone in managing their difficulties positively and constructively over time. If you are a person who is ashamed of the stigma associated with self-harm, we want you to know you are not alone and that your decision to stay alive is heroic. By seeking professional assistance, you can create a secure environment in which healing can begin and progress toward recovery can be made.
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