HOW TO BE CALM

We all have this superpower. I know saying it is easier than doing it. I even know I have to work on this subject. When I think about how to be calm in a bad situation, first I see how hard it is. Especially if you know you are right, you have been bullied or gaslighted, you have been lied to. I am not advising you to give a silence treatment to the person who made you feel bad. But I don't advise you try to explain yourself to someone who doesn't give value to your words. Just calm down, because of your anger, your rising will harm you more than the person drives you crazy.

When we lose our minds, maybe after a few minutes, or maybe an hour later we all regret it. You will tell yourself "I am not a person like this, why did I act like that, why did I say these reckless words." A while later, you will hate yourself more than the person who drove you crazy. So, rather than feeling shame and regret, we have to learn how to use this natural power that we all have. Start from knowing yourself. Know what annoys you. Know why these things annoy you. Go deep in your childhood and ask this little child with a broken heart why s/he is so upset about some certain subjects. Practice compassion. Meditate.

If anything gives you stress, makes you crazy, makes you obsessed, you should give up from it. These things could be a relationship, a friendship or a bad lifestyle habit. You should learn to move on. Don't think that, in a relationship, big fights are proofs of love and passion. Don't think you are happy with your overweight body, which makes you sick. Don't think your best friend sometimes has to be cruel to be kind.

Don't allow anything to give your mind a big storm. Even if you look calm on the outside, if you have huge storms in your mind and in your heart, it doesn't mean that you are calm. You have to learn how to be calm in and out. Please try to see the weak points in your life and work on it. In the meantime be gentle with yourself. Give yourself some time, calm your heart, do something you love, learn new things. Stop overthinking.

Change is taking time and energy. You didn't come to this uncomfortable point in a day. Don't think you can change instantly. You will continue to make mistakes. But every other day you will progress. Giving up on anything is not so easy. But you can handle it. Use your superpower. Keep yourself calm. Then you will see, nobody and nothing will harm your psychology. And much more than this, nobody will be able to pull you in their dark world again.

Victoria Toumit