How to build self - confidence?

We constantly tell ourselves stories. We believe these stories without even questioning them. It’s so important to bring these stories into our awareness!

What are you telling yourself? Is it that you can achieve your goal? Or that you cannot do it?

Is the next thing you want to do an easy task for you, or is it so big that it feels impossible to even dream about?

Whatever you believe, it becomes your reality. If you believe you can do it, you will find a way. If you believe you cannot do it, you might start, but you will never finish.

This brings us to self-confidence. What is it in the first place? In my opinion, it's the awareness of our abilities. It is who we are, what we are capable of, and what our expertise and experiences are. It is the story we tell ourselves, a critical psychological trait that significantly impacts mental health, motivation, performance, and overall life satisfaction.

Self confidence includes several key components:

1. Self-Efficacy: This term, coined by psychologist Albert Bandura, refers to the belief in one’s ability to succeed in specific situations or accomplish a task. Self-efficacy plays a huge role in how a person approaches goals, tasks, and challenges.
2. Self-Esteem: This means valuing oneself and recognizing one’s self-worth and personal value. It involves appreciating and liking oneself, regardless of the circumstances. When someone has healthy self-esteem, they tend to be happier and more resilient.
3. Self-Respect: This involves valuing oneself, including one’s dignity and worthiness. It encompasses an internalized sense of being worthy of love and respect. Maintaining healthy self-respect often leads to more respectful interactions with others and a stronger sense of personal boundaries. (You can get my book on how to build healthy personal boundaries on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0D8GLWNCJ)

Tips to Gain More Self-Confidence

Negative self-talk lowers your self-confidence. You talk yourself out of working on your dreams and goals, and it's no wonder you don't reach them. The goal is to identify and challenge negative self-talk.

Journaling can be effective for tracking and transforming negative thoughts. When you find a negative thought, underline it and replace it with a positive one.

Example: Replace "I will never learn this; it's too much for me" with "I can learn this step by step." This technique is called cognitive restructuring.

When you want to achieve a goal and it feels too big or too far in the future, use this technique: Set smaller, more achievable, and manageable goals. Be aware of every success along the way. This will build confidence. When you realize you can do something, it boosts your confidence to tackle even bigger tasks. Investing time in learning and honing skills will benefit you greatly.

Another tool is mindfulness and meditation. These practices help you stay grounded and reduce anxiety. For anxiety, I recommend walking meditation, as it brings focus to your body and surroundings.

If you want to build more self-confidence, start learning and honing new skills. Competence in various areas boosts confidence. Ask yourself what you want to do in your life and start step by step. You can join online or in-person courses, workshops, and continue your education.

What to avoid?

Avoid negative self-talk, comparison to others, perfectionism, unhealthy relationships, and avoidance of challenges. All of these behaviors eat away at your self-confidence and highlight your mistakes or weaknesses. Instead, focus on your strengths and improve your skills.

I’ve talked about these topics extensively. Check out my YouTube channel (https://www.youtube.com/petrakmetec) or read my articles for more in-depth discussions.

Write a better story about yourself and your abilities

Whenever you find yourself engaging in negative self-talk, stop. In that moment, shift your attention to three past achievements. Remember, you can do it—you've already done things and succeeded. Build from that perspective.

By challenging negative thoughts, setting achievable goals, and learning from positive role models, anyone can enhance their self-confidence.

Self-confidence is not about being perfect; it’s about believing in your ability to grow, learn, and overcome challenges.

Know that there is something inside you greater than any obstacle. Self-confidence is a superpower. Once you start to believe in yourself, magic starts happening.

Change the story about yourself and it will change your life. You will become a winner.

Until next time, keep growing, keep seeking and laugh more!

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