How To Build A Messy Meditation Practice: The Easiest Guide?Ever

This week I happened to be at the library just as story hour was getting started. Parents were trying to get their children to quiet down so the librarian could begin reading Curious George Rides A Bike.

Just when it looked like all the 3- and 4-year-olds had settled down to hear Curious George’s latest adventures, one of them jumped up and started loudly singing. There was a frantic rush to quiet him down so the story could continue, only to have another child jump up and call out for Curious George a few moments later. Another round of frantic “shushing” ensued.

The whole scene reminded me of all the crazy thoughts that jump up in my head and need to be corralled when I try to sit and meditate.

My meditation practice is messy, but it’s still one of my favorite ways to slow the swirling of my brain so I can think more clearly and focus more deeply. This is especially helpful on days where things are feeling a little out of control.

Meditation is a lot easier than it looks. And it’s more powerful than it appears. Among other things, meditation decreases both anxiety and activity in the brain region responsible for mind wandering. It helps to increase working memory capacity. All of which improves your ability to focus.

If you want to meditate, it’s only as difficult as you choose to make it (and really, isn’t that the whole story in?life?)

Meditation 101: Make it easy

You don’t have to have a special location to meditate. You don’t need special clothes. You don’t need a chant. You don’t need a special Tibetan gong or chime. You don’t need special music or incense. You just need a quiet space where you can be undisturbed for five minutes. You can always meditate for longer if you want, but starting with a short time frame is usually the easiest.

Sit as comfortably as possible. You can sit in a chair with your feet on the floor. You can sit on the floor and curl your feet under you. Do whatever is most comfortable, but don’t lay down; it’s too easy to go from meditation to straight out sleeping, which has a tendency to be frowned on at work. If you want to set a timer for your meditation, now is the time to do so.

Now, close your eyes, or don’t. If you choose not to close your eyes, find something you can softly focus on so your mind doesn’t wander, like a spot on the wall, the flame of a candle, or an object that means something special to you. It’s all up to you to decide what works best for you.

With your eyes in whatever state you want them to be, begin to breathe in slowly, then breathe out slowly. Feel the breath as it moves through you. Listen as it goes in and out. Keep doing this until your timer goes off.

That, in a nutshell, is meditation.

Of course, it’s really not that?easy.

When you meditate, thoughts will show up. Thoughts about things you need to do, things you wish you could do, things you’re scared about, things you’re embarrassed about, and of course, the nagging question of what to have for dinner tonight.

All of these thoughts and a lot more will choose your quiet meditation time to make an appearance. In theory, your brain is supposed to be calm when you’re meditating. But in practice, more often than not, it sounds like the kids at the libraries’ story hour. Someone keeps popping up and calling out for Curious George or lets loose with an original song they just thought up. This is one of the main reasons you might think you are meditating wrong.

But guess what? You are doing it exactly?right!

Those thoughts show up because the brain doesn’t want to sit quietly. It wants to be loud and swirl around. So it rebels by bringing everything up it possibly can to get you to stop.

As you meditate, you just have to brush those thoughts away, then refocus on your breath, over and over and over. The best advice I ever got is to just acknowledge that the disruptive thoughts are there. Think of them as floating on clouds. You see the thought; you recognize it. You either mentally brush it away or let it drift away on its own and return to peacefully concentrating on your breathing.

The peacefulness should last about another 0.05 seconds before the next disruptive thought tries to interrupt. You do the same: acknowledge, brush it away, and refocus on your breath.

This is what normal meditation is like.

You will not be able to sit and have a perfectly blank mind for five or 10 or 30 minutes. Your brain rocks and rolls and does crazy things 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, which is obviously a very good thing. It’s also the reason why, when you are meditating, it can’t simply shut down.

Eventually, though, like a 3-year-old listening to a story, it starts to quiet down just enough for things to begin to sort themselves out and become more apparent.

It’s not like the heavens open up and clarity comes to you on the wings of?angels.

Well, not at least every time. But sometimes, it’s close, which is why meditation is important in the first place.

One of my favorite things about meditating is how it allows random connections to appear between different parts of life. When my brain quiets down, it’s like a 1,000-piece puzzle starting to take shape with no help from me. Pieces begin to come together that I never thought of as being related.

For example, I was trying to figure out whom I could reach out to help me get in front of a business I wanted to work with. Research wasn’t helping, so I put the idea aside. The following day while meditating, the answer just showed up. A woman I knew from years ago was the direct contact I needed. I hadn’t been thinking of her and hadn’t been mulling how to contact her. Her name just surfaced as I meditated, as the person I needed to reach out to.

This is not an isolated incident. Talk with anyone who meditates, and they will share stories of things just showing up when they slow down and quiet their mind. When I meditate before work, I don’t get as distracted, I have more clarity, and I can focus on my tasks more deeply than I might have been able to do before.

Why do you think they call it practice?

No one is perfect at meditation. Ok, maybe some monks who do it for hours and hours a day. But that’s not you. Expecting yourself to be perfect at meditation undermines what it is all about. You don’t have to be perfect at it, or even really good at it. You just need to do it.

In theory, you need to be good at driving to be out on the streets and highways. You need to be good at your job to keep getting a paycheck. You need to be good at managing your money to keep eating regularly, but you don’t have to be good at meditating. You just need to take the time to sit quietly and let your brain relax. Five minutes at a time.

Your focus will thank you. Your clarity will thank you. And your brain will thank you.