How to Build Mental Resilience as a Leader

Being a leader isn’t easy. People like to think it is, but until you’ve carried the weight of responsibility, you’ll never truly know.

The pressure takes its toll—board expectations, relentless targets, and the constant need to deliver results.

Yes, you earn a good salary. Yes, you have the respect of your peers. But your career affects your life in ways people don’t see.

• You start losing sleep
• You become unhealthy
• You’re always under pressure
• And never quite satisfied

Surely the biggest and best jobs should be more enjoyable? Why can’t they be the roles we actually want?

The stress and anxiety many leaders experience is often a direct result of work. It’s sad, but true.

Since 2021, I’ve coached over 150 Senior Managers and Directors. All of them had frustrations with their careers, their employers, or both.

The endless emails, board demands, and employee issues—it all stacks up.

And the impact?

• You become snappy with your partner
• You don’t have time for your kids like you used to
• You lose the sense of fulfilment you once had

This isn’t what you signed up for.

We all need breaks, but instead, we fill the gaps with doom-scrolling social media and drinking, just to feel normal again.

I coach many leaders who don’t recognise themselves anymore. They feel out of control.

And it’s not just individuals feeling this. Workplace mental health problems are rising fast.

A Deloitte study found that 1 in 6 employees suffer from mental health issues at work.

Even more shocking? ?? Poor mental health costs UK businesses ￡51 billion annually. Most of it through absenteeism and presenteeism—where employees show up but are completely checked out.

So, what’s driving the decline in workplace well-being? And more importantly, how can you, as a leader, take control of your own mental health?

The Ideal Scenario

Imagine this:

• You’re happy at work
• You feel calm and productive
• You do work that excites you
• You have balance and more time for family, hobbies, and yourself

This isn’t a pipe dream. It’s a scenario every leader should aim for.

And when you take control of your well-being, something powerful happens: Your team feels better too.

As we know, culture eats strategy for breakfast. No matter how well-executed your strategy is, if your people aren’t happy, they won’t perform at their best.

A mentally resilient leader creates a mentally resilient team.

• One that self-regulates stress and emotions
• One that handles setbacks with logic and composure
• One that thrives under pressure, rather than crumbles

So, how do you achieve this level of resilience?

The PAC Model – My 3-Step Process for Building Mental Resilience

Over the last four years, I’ve helped leaders overcome confidence issues, build self-belief, and develop mental resilience.

They’ve done it using practical tools and techniques—what I call the PAC Model:

P is for Persistence

Resilience is not about avoiding failure. It’s about getting back up.

Fragile employees give up too easily. One setback, and they spiral.

Someone loses a deal, and suddenly they think they’ll never succeed. A leader gets tough feedback, and they start doubting their abilities.

But mentally resilient people? They keep taking shots at goal.

Persistence means:

? Learning from failure, rather than being defeated by it

? Trying new ways of working instead of sticking to what’s not working

? Stepping outside your comfort zone to create different results

If you’re unhappy at work, persistence is having the courage to ask tough questions and seek solutions. It’s taking action.

A is for Acceptance

I’ve met so many people who are stuck in unhappy careers—but in denial about it.

They carry on working in roles that make them miserable because they refuse to accept their reality.

The truth? If you accept that you’re unhappy, you’ll do something about it.

Leaders with mental resilience:

? Accept when they don’t have all the answers

? Recognise the brutal facts of their situation and adapt

? Aren’t afraid to ask questions—even “stupid” ones—because learning is more important than ego

Denial keeps you stuck. Acceptance sets you free.

C is for Compassion

While the first two steps focus on mindset, this one is about self-care.

Self-compassion is a core pillar of resilience. It allows you to be kind to yourself in difficult moments.

For example: You apply for a job. You get rejected. Your inner critic kicks in:

?? “You’re not good enough.”

?? “You’ll never find another job.”

?? “Why did you screw up that interview?”

Your ego wants to protect you from further failure. But that protection comes at a cost—it stops you from trying again.

Mentally resilient people don’t let negative self-talk win.

Instead, they coach themselves through setbacks:

? “I didn’t get this job, but I’ll learn from the experience.”

? “Rejection is part of the process.”

? “I’ll improve and try again.”

This is how they keep going.

And over time? That consistent action compounds—leading to confidence, success, and fulfilment.

Final Thoughts

Every successful leader faces setbacks, failures, and stress.

The difference? The way they deal with those challenges.

?? They persist through obstacles

?? They accept their reality and adapt

?? They treat themselves with compassion, not self-criticism

This is what mentally resilient leadership looks like.

Let’s Keep the Conversation Going

I’ve recently started posting on YouTube, covering mental health in leadership and my coaching journey.

Would love for you to check it out: ?? Subscribe to my channel HERE

What’s your biggest struggle with resilience?

Let me know in the comments.

Have a great week,

Tom