HOW TO BUILD INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE

 HOW TO BUILD INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE

Intimacy simply means having a sense of oneness and belonging to one another, having a wholesome knowledge of one another. Intimacy means having the capacity to work through our fears, a willingness to make mistakes, and be graciously forgiven.

It takes time to build real intimacy in a marriage relationship. Good and functional marriages do not just drop from the sky. It is a product of two mutually consenting couples who have committed themselves to the success of their relationship.

For real intimacy to develop in a marriage relationship, the couple must observe one another closely, to understand their strengths and weaknesses. The couple must endeavor to accept one another unconditionally. They must not put undue pressure on their marriage by demanding drastic changes in the lifestyle of their spouse. Where changes are desirable, they should be allowed to flow naturally in love and grace. Each partner should feel safe in the relationship. While staying emotionally connected, they should not be afraid to feel vulnerable in one another’s company.

How can we build intimacy in a marriage relationship?

For a better appreciation of this question, I will like to look at the subject of intimacy from four perspectives. They include emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical intimacy.

Emotional Intimacy                                                                  

Emotional intimacy means the opening of hearts to one another. No pretenses. No sweeping of grievances under the carpet. If you are always recoiling into your shell at the slightest sign of a disagreement or argument, you will never be able to achieve emotional intimacy with your spouse. To achieve emotional intimacy, you must choose to speak out your feelings, no matter how bitter or painful it may sound. But you must do this in a manner that will not increase your hurt or put undue pressure on your relationship. As a couple, you must develop the capacity to show appreciation and gratitude to one another. In attaining emotional intimacy, learn to live without keeping secrets from one another. Set your emotions free.

Mental Intimacy

Mental intimacy means the meeting of minds, a one-on-one connection between spouses in areas of mutual interest. For instance, what are the mental activities that spice up your marriage? Do you enjoy sporting activities such as soccer, swimming, basketball, volleyball, squash, golf, badminton, chess, and lots of other activities too numerous to mention? Do you love to listen to good music, watch interesting movies, participate in seminars and conferences that add value to you as a couple? Or do you love to discuss politics, entertainment, and social issues?

These are activities that promote intimacy in a marriage. Look out for an interesting passion that you and your spouse may engage in. Invest your spare time in these areas. Let them become part of your leisure. Make a decision to enjoy these activities together, and you will see your marriage blossom.

Spiritual Intimacy

Spiritual intimacy means having a common understanding of God and his principles and choosing to make these principles the foundation of your lives. To attain this, the couple should choose specific times of prayer, preferably at dawn before setting out for the daily activities and before bedtime. An hour of prayer at these times is ideal for the couple. There should also be times set aside for fasting and study of the Scriptures. This could be during the weekends to enable the rest of the family to partake in

the exercise. This will enable you and your spouse to grow in love and perfect spiritual bonding.Moreover, as a couple, you should belong to the same church or spiritual foundation, attend the same services together, and receive spiritual instruction from the same spiritual authority. All spiritual activities should be jointly done. This encourages intimacy and spiritual harmony between the couple.

Physical Intimacy

Physical intimacy means achieving a high level of understanding of one another’s physical needs and becoming totally committed to meeting those needs. Most often, physical intimacy can be erroneously interpreted as sexual intercourse. But this is certainly far from the truth. It is possible to enjoy sex without any form of intimacy between the partners. Physical intimacy is therefore deeper than just sex.

To achieve physical intimacy, you need to create time for both of you to be together alone, a time to chat, play, and be in each other’s arms. At such times, no visitor should be allowed to intrude or spoil your fun. It is just your time alone. You should also endeavor to share the same bedroom, take your baths together as often as possible, and eat your meals together. If you cannot partake of breakfast or lunch due to work pressure, please by all means make your dinner a great time to look forward to.

Finally, engage in good sexual intercourse as many times as possible. Couples that enjoy quality sex hardly have long-lasting squabbles. Good sex is like oil to a machine. In the same manner, oil eases tension in a machine, good quality sex can ease the tension in any marital relationship.

Thank you for spending time to go through this material. Most importantly, it will be an honor for me to receive your comments. Let me know how it blessed your life. You may also wish to visit and SUBSCRIBE to my YouTube channel. It is called Marriage Without Tears channel. There are awesome videos there that will bless your marriage. I will surely appreciate it. God bless your marriage and home.

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