How to build a healthier, more intentional relationship with social media
Rebecca Alexander, LCSW-R, MPH, RYT, PLLC
Psychodynamic Psychotherapist | Author | Keynote Speaker | Disability Rights Advocate | Extreme Athlete & Accessible Fitness Coach
Ask anyone... I secretly despise social media.
Why?
The first reason is... there’s just too much content, too much validation-seeking, and too much time spent disconnected from who and what is right in front of us.
Our relationship with social media can feel akin to a hypnotic trance, much like endlessly scrolling through dating apps or online shopping platforms — serving as an escape from our realities, relationships, and the time needed to discover who we are, what we love, and what makes us feel most alive.
As a psychotherapist, I’ve observed how people are often more eager to be vulnerable on social media with the world and strangers than to challenge themselves to engage in crucial conversations with their loved ones. The allure of social media lies in its ability to offer a platform for exposure and validation, but this often comes at the expense of deeper, more meaningful interactions in our real lives.
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Let's be clear—I'm not immune to this. I'm guilty of watching puppy videos, wildlife clips, and standup comedy sketches waaay past my bedtime. However, recognizing this tendency in myself has also made me more aware of the broader implications of social media on my life.
Here are a few strategies to help you be more intentional with your social media use and to show up more fully for yourself and others in your life:
Before logging in, ask yourself why you are doing so. Are you winding down from the day, avoiding boredom, or escaping difficult emotions? Consider what you might do instead to relax or feel more connected to your life.
Activities like reading, practicing meditation (even for 5 minutes), or spending time with loved ones can leave you feeling more fulfilled and less empty than scrolling through social media.