How To Build Confidence

Do you know of someone that walks into a room and all eyes gravitate toward them? That person is likeable, respected by their peers, is admirable and above all is confident. They aren't necessarily the smartest person or the most talented but yet people respect their opinions and listen to what they have to say. As human beings, we are attracted to confidence like a magnet. Confidence is a quality that represents power, charisma and leadership and if you are confident enough it will draw people towards you. So how do you go about building confidence if you are lacking in it?

I remember as a child I was always talkative, much to the dismay of many teachers throughout my school years. On my first day of kindergarten, my teacher sent a note home to my mother telling her that she had to move me to a different table because I was talking too much. It sounds funny but it is true, my mom still laughs about it to this day. I was a confident child but slowly with adolescence and young adulthood my confidence started to dissipate. I remember sitting in several meetings during my early career having great ideas and insights, but I was terrified to speak up. I stayed silent for a long time, and I noticed that the longer I stayed silent the more unconfident I became. I also noticed that my body posture started to show how unconfident I was, which only worked to solidify my internal feelings and beliefs. However, I recognized several years ago that if I wanted people to listen to me and respect my opinion, I needed to make a change. I needed to learn how to be confident once and for all.

Confidence is not generally something that happens overnight. While some people are seemingly born confident, it can also be learned over time, and anyone can develop it. The good news is that having confidence does not require you to be smarter or more talented than anyone, therefore you can build it. I mentioned earlier that I started to notice my lack of confidence in my body posture, allow me to expound on that a bit farther. I remember the moment clearly; I had just gotten out of a meeting and a former colleague of mine texted me when I got back to my desk. She said, "you look deflated, are you okay?" I had the mental image of a deflated balloon in my head and thought to myself, "is that really what I look like?" If I looked deflated after the meeting, can you imagine how I looked during the meeting? It was time to make a change, I decided right then that if I wanted more respect, it would be up to me to build my self-confidence. Aside from the obvious physical benefits exercise has on your body it also works like a charm at building self-confidence. Getting in shape has many benefits but not enough people talk about how important it is when you are looking to increase your confidence. For me, physical fitness has been a key contributing factor is increasing my confidence. I remember prior to getting into shape how my posture looked. My head would be down, my shoulders were slouched, and I dodged eye contact. I felt like a deflated balloon that no one paid attention to. It is important to note that over 90% of human communication is non-verbal. Therefore, improving your body posture and increasing your confidence is a critically important step in improving your career and have people be drawn to you. People who are confident are looked up to and respected and their physical energy exudes this. I have never met a confident person that looks deflated, they look exhilarated, and they seem to have energy radiating from them. Aside from working out to improve your confidence and posture you can also follow these steps:

#1) Face Your Fears

Many people stay in their comfort zone for too long and lose sight of what is important to them. They give into ease and comfort and become afraid of change which keeps them right where they are. When you don't face your fears, you allow your fears to control you. Own your fears and if something makes you afraid enough that is probably the route you need to take in order to gain confidence and move out of your comfort zone. As I mentioned, I was at one time terrified to speak up during meetings. I channeled these fears and decided to take action by actively doing things that terrified me. I went from being a silent deflated balloon to a force to be reckoned with. I took charge and conquered my fears by going right after them and by facing them.

#2) Set Bigger Goals

In my first newsletter I mentioned how important it is to set big goals, this cannot be overstated enough. All too often we set goals that are completely achievable and then have nothing lined up after we reach them. The result is right back into the comfort zone and the entire process starts to drift backward. Do not set small goals if you want big results. If you want something bad enough set goals so large that they scare you. By making small and concise improvements daily, even the largest goals become attainable. The key is to be consistent.

#3) Surround Yourself With People That Are Confident & Positive

This is pretty simple but very effective. Chances are you already know a person who is confident that can talk to anyone. Talk to them and find out how they got that way and what their tricks are. Most people are open and ready to help others and if someone is confident chances are they are more than ready to help someone else become the same way. Ask them for pointers and guidance and don't hang out with anyone that is negative, this will only drag you down. Remember, that like energy attracts like energy so if you want to become more confident you must surround yourself with confidence and positivity.

#4) Keep Your Vision Always In Mind

Keeping a firm hold of your vision and what you want is one of the most difficult things on the planet to accomplish. Keeping a vision requires a great deal of mental acuity and having sustained mental thought is far from easy task. However, the people who can keep their vision of what they want at the forefront of their minds are the most successful, they walk with purpose and emit confidence. Their vision keeps them sustained and helps them get through even the most challenging of circumstances. Do whatever it takes to keep this vision always in mind. Start by writing down your goals and saying them out loud daily, tell yourself in the mirror that you are confident, and that people respect you.

#5) Walk the Walk

This is often the most challenging step for many people, especially if you are struggling with confidence. However, it is important to build confidence by doing, not just thinking. In order to become the best, most confident version of yourself you need to start acting like you already are. The saying "fake it until you make it" comes to mind with this point. Even if you haven't built up the mental belief that you are confident yet keep trying. Even seemingly small steps towards building up your confidence can leave a lasting impact.?Walk with the belief that you have reached your goals, that you are confident, and that people respect you. If you walk the walk and keep your vision close to mind it will eventually become reality. Become your own hero by doing something every day that scares you and forces you to grow. Remember that you already have all the tools within you to accomplish anything you want in life. It is up to you to use those tools to your advantage to become the best, most confident version of yourself.

Like this newsletter? Please let me know if this helped add value to your life or made you think from a new perspective. I love hearing from my supporters and greatly enjoy creating positive content that helps others grow.