How to break free from putting things off.

Procrastination is irrational. It doesn’t make sense to avoid doing something you know could have negative consequences.

Why can't I just book that appointment at the doctor - I could be ill? Why am I still in this job - I hate my job? How can I break that habit of snacking every time I get home - it's killing me? Why am I smoking when I am so busy, as if it's perfectly normal and I know it's harming me? Well you are likely putting things off. You are almost certainly the prey of habit.

Putting stuff off isn’t about time management, but a way of coping with your negative emotions that are in your mind today..

People do other things to evade and avoid negative thoughts; around a task - or in their lives.  

We put things off because of negativity?

I want to introduce two concepts to you:

Doctors. Pychyl and Sirois found that procrastination can be understood as “the primacy of short-term mood repair … over the longer-term pursuit of intended actions.”

1. When we harbour negative thoughts, doing other things actually gives us temporary relief from negativity.

Negative moods include anxiety, insecurity, frustration, resentment, self-doubt, self belief or sheer boredom.

When we procrastinate our 'child within' (sub conscious) seeks a solution. Comfort. Instant gratification trumps action. So having rewarded inaction with a break or a cigarette we do it again next time. 

If we have a leaning towards anxiety, negativity, low self esteem, stress, our sub conscious is more likely to create the need for an instant reward than get on with the job.

The momentary relief that we feel from the negativity is actually what makes the cycle especially vicious.  In the immediate present, continuing a habit like smoking or putting off a task provides relief — you’ve been rewarded for procrastinating. And we know that when we’re rewarded for something, we tend to do it again.

But, of course, this only reinforces  the negative associations we have with the task, and those feelings will still be there whenever we come back to it, along with increased stress or anxiety. So we check our Instagram, email a friend or watch a YouTube video.

2. Procrastination is also a perfect example of our hard-wired tendency to prioritise short-term needs ahead of long-term ones.

Humans were not designed to think ahead. Ancient man needed to focus on providing for today. We perceive our today self as 'us'.  We actually perceive our “future selves” like other people.

So in summary, when we procrastinate our 'child within' (sub conscious) actually thinks that the tasks we’re putting off are somebody else’s problem.

By the way, we all do it. This is not about you, it's about us as human beings.

The solution

The best solution is to engage me of course. Talk it out with somebody that is independent and completely confidential. 

In mentoring I find that explaining to intelligent people the reasons for a particular behaviour is enough. I reinforce it weekly. Just understanding that when you put things off you are rewarding short term relief. It's a great start.

Accept that habit, and procrastination is about emotions, not logic or productivity. It has to do with managing our emotions in a new way.

We have to find a better reward — one that can relieve our challenging feelings in the present moment without causing harm to our future selves.

One option is to forgive yourself. This is why there is so much stuff about loving yourself. Now you know why!!  

In a 2010 study, researchers found that students who were able to forgive themselves for procrastinating when studying for a first exam ended up procrastinating less when studying for their next exam.

Best of all, self-compassion doesn’t require anything external — just a commitment to self. It is a big part of my work.

And more? What other things can you do?

Cultivate curiosity: Be aware. Consider what feelings are eliciting your thoughts of putting it off?   Don't fight it. Consider what do they remind you of?  What happens to the thought of procrastinating as you observe it? Does it intensify? Dissipate? Cause other emotions to arise? Do you care? How are the sensations in your body shifting as you continue to rest your awareness on them?

Consider the next action:  At the start of a given emotion, ask “What’s the next action I’d take on this if I were going to do it, even though I’m not?” Break the task down into micro steps.  Maybe you would open your email. Or perhaps you would start the vacuuming.

Don’t wait to be in the mood to do a certain task.   Motivation follows action. Get started, and you’ll find your motivation follows.

Finally, make your temptations more inconvenient: Use it to your advantage” by placing obstacles between your temptation and behaviour.   If you compulsively check social media, delete apps from your phone.  Add friction to the procrastination cycle and make the reward value of your temptation less immediate.

Adrian Doble spent a career in changing boards (people) across the world in restructuring and is now a mentor. He presents "The Child Within" to women's groups, a life story based around what makes us in our early lives. Break Free & Flourish.

Thanks go to a great article that appeared in The new York Times which helped me write this.