How to break free from the past to become yourself

This is the main theme of the book “Dare To Be You” from Melbourne-based author Lynette Diehm . It is the most personal book I ever reviewed in my series; a book about her own transformation in life to become outstanding and unstoppable after going through serious sets of fallbacks and traumas.

Many people who went through tough times in an emotional journey would like to help others at an earlier stage of a similar challenge to unlock their potential. Therefore Lynette dedicated her book “to everyone out there who has gone through adverse times and needed something to give them hope and a way forward.” She developed a holistic health support system to help her get to know, love, and respect her true authentic self and to attract the right people into her life, and wants her readers to be inspired that they can achieve that to overcome their darkest times as well.

Working in the IT industry as a highly specialised project manager, I observed some of her professional work she shared on LinkedIn to then recognise that she found her voice by sharing how to overcome life experiences. For this she developed a set of quotes and affirmations books and a Gratitude Diary eBook allowing her readers to dare to be Yourself, Outstanding and Unstoppable which summarised to becoming YOU.

Lynette shares her own experiences in life which gave her the tools she needed to find true happiness, wealth, love and success in her personal and professional life which started as an outcast in her childhood when she discovered the rainforest as a secret place to learn enjoying the time by herself. She faced a range of traumatic experiences in her young life such as bullying, betrayals and feeling depressed while trying to be the love seeking people pleaser she assumed society wanted that of her.

In many smaller sections she builds bridges from fighting against the limiting beliefs in her youth related to her difficult upbringing up to the key events that helped her overcoming those fears towards healing. One of the main lines throughout the book covers how to recognise and overcome toxic friendships and broken trust situations.

It takes a lot of courage to go through all those little stories from her past again and describe them in this book. She wrote it all down in a conversational style as if she would tell a close friend what happened, often quite in detail. After overcoming difficult situations like breakups, severe health concerns and other disappointments she summarised the learning aspects for the readers as practical advice. Beyond dealing with emotions from negative events including discrimination and violence, she also eloquently described the art of gratitude and developing a mindset of looking at fear as a challenge to overcome.

A range of sentences often jump into the eyes of the reader to stand out underlining Lynette’s experience. Some are actually quite short such as “You can never be happy if you don’t know who you are.” and “We submit to the schedule of life without question, only then left to wonder where the time went.” Even shorter is “We forget that we still have to nourish and nurture ourselves.” My favourite as a book author myself is “The most powerful writing is not about having an imagination; it is about writing from the heart, from experience and from passion.”

If you tap into someone’s life who achieved a transformation or a major step forward, they rarely give you a listed menu of stories to tell or a quick logical summary. Likewise, this book doesn’t start with a table of contents and laid our chapters like a left-brain oriented business book.

Instead it is a journey into Lynette’s life, often jumping from one aspect to the next topic so that the readers can connect the dots alongside her journey. This approach represents the flow of connected situations in life, as described in her sentence “So many variables impact living a successful life, including unresolved childhood issues, identity issues, relationships, professional woes, as well as financial burdens.”

Upcoming book authors can take a lot of lessons from Lynette’s book. First of all her courage to write the story into a book with decent depth and thus outing her personal journey from trauma to transformation. Sharing what others might consider a failure is a challenge for most of us. Being honest to show vulnerability and allow to be themselves is one of the most inspiring elements of this book.

Writing this book during covid lockdowns in Melbourne gave her ample time to add a second layer to the book: it can also serve as a reference guide to overcome critical situations in life thanks to the small sections which can stand for themselves.

Closing with a request to the most suitable readers: “I dare you to be yourself, outstanding and unstoppable in your life by reinventing yourself and your life to be the way you want them to be.”

Q&A with Lynette Diehm

1. What was the deciding moment to write this book?

In 2008, amidst a storm of personal despair and professional disillusionment, I found myself at a crossroad. The discrimination and depression that clouded my days led me seek guidance, where a session with a clairvoyant became the unexpected beacon of hope I needed. She saw beyond my turmoil, recognising a potential in me to illuminate the paths of others. This revelation was not just about finding my purpose; it was about understanding that my deepest struggles could be transformed into a source of strength and light for others. It’s this journey from darkness to light that I’m passionate about sharing, believing that if my story can inspire even one person to find their way, then every challenge I’ve faced will have been worth it.

2. How long did it take from concept to launch?

The path from the spark of inspiration to the reality of publication was fraught with obstacles that tested every ounce of my resilience. Betrayal and financial loss were harsh lessons in trust and the importance of perseverance. Yet, these setbacks became the soil from which my book grew, rooted in authenticity and the raw truth of my experiences. They taught me that the act of creation is not just about the end product but about the transformation that occurs within us when we dare to chase our dreams, no matter the cost. This was a 2.5 year journey to publication.

3. How did you perform the research to create the practical content?

The journey to crafting the practical solutions detailed in my book was both extensive and deeply personal. It began not in the quiet of a library, but in the tumult of life’s challenges where theory meets the hard ground of reality. Each piece of advice, every strategy I advocate, is born from a crucible of personal experimentation, rigorous research, and the distilled wisdom of countless hours of coaching.

My foray into holistic health wasn’t merely academic; it was a quest for healing and understanding. After facing my own set of health challenges and navigating the often-overwhelming maze of advice available, I was determined to find not just solutions that worked in theory, but those that could stand the test of real-life application. This determination led me down a path of relentless self-experimentation. I became both the scientist and the subject, meticulously documenting what worked, what didn’t, and why.

However, my approach wasn’t solitary. I engaged with a community of holistic health professionals, absorbing their insights, and challenging their conclusions. I immersed myself in the latest research, always with an eye towards how these findings could be applied in practical, accessible ways. The knowledge I gained wasn’t kept in isolation; it was tested through over 300 hours of coaching, allowing me to refine each strategy against a backdrop of diverse individual experiences and challenges.

This iterative process of learning, applying, and teaching formed the backbone of my holistic health support system. It’s a system designed not as a one-size-fits-all solution but as a guide that empowers individuals to navigate their health journeys with confidence. The strategies within it are those that have shown consistent, replicable results across a wide range of individuals, each dealing with their unique set of circumstances and challenges.

My motivation in sharing these strategies is driven by a belief in the transformative power of informed, intentional action. I’ve witnessed firsthand the profound changes that can occur when individuals are equipped with the knowledge and tools to take charge of their well-being. It’s a belief underscored by my own journey from confusion and ill-health to clarity and vitality.

The practical advice offered in my book and through my courses is more than just a set of recommendations; it’s a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the capacity for each of us to enact profound change in our lives. It’s my hope that by sharing these insights, I can help others find their path to health and happiness, armed with strategies that are not only effective but adaptable to the ebb and flow of real life.

For those who find resonance with this approach to health and well-being, I invite you to explore further. Whether through the pages of my book, the community of my coaching programs, or the structured guidance of my online courses, there’s a wealth of knowledge waiting to be unlocked. Together, we can embark on a journey not just to better health, but to a deeper understanding of what it means to live well.

4. What was the biggest challenge along the process (and how did you overcome it)?

The chapter of my life that involved being betrayed by someone I once considered a close friend was more than just a setback; it was a crucible that tested the very fabric of my trust and belief in the journey I had embarked upon. The pain of losing not only a significant sum of money but also what I thought was a pivotal part of my support system nearly derailed my dreams and aspirations. In those moments of despair, the isolation felt insurmountable, and the dream of sharing my story, my insights, seemed like an unreachable star.

However, it was precisely in this period of darkness that I discovered a truth more luminous than any I had known before the incredible, healing power of community. As I tentatively reached out, sharing my story in bits and pieces across online platforms, I was met with an outpouring of support that I had not anticipated. Strangers from across the globe became friends, mentors, and cheerleaders, offering words of encouragement, sharing their own stories of betrayal and resilience, and reminding me that the journey is never a solitary one.

This support network, built from shared vulnerabilities and collective strength, became the cornerstone of my recovery and my writing. Each message, comment, and shared story acted as a stepping stone, pulling me out of the mire of despair and back onto the path of creation and purpose. It was a profound reminder that while our individual journeys are unique, the challenges we face are universal, and it is through this shared understanding that we find our greatest strength.

The experience taught me that community is not just about finding people who are willing to walk with us; it’s about building bridges of empathy, understanding, and support that can withstand the trials of our individual journeys. It reaffirmed my belief in the importance of creating spaces—both online and in the real world—where people can come together, share their stories, and find the kind of support that empowers them to overcome their obstacles.

This journey of rediscovery, supported by a community that grew with every shared story, every vulnerability embraced, and every challenge overcome, has been one of the most enriching experiences of my life. It has not only shaped the narrative of my book but has also reinforced my commitment to fostering communities where support, empathy, and resilience are at the heart of our collective journey.

As I continue to share my story, I do so with the hope that it serves as a beacon for others navigating their own dark nights. I want to extend the same hand of support that was once offered to me, to remind anyone struggling that they are not alone, that their story matters, and that together, we can overcome the challenges that life throws our way. If my journey resonates with you, or if you're seeking a community that understands and supports your path to healing, I invite you to connect with us. Together, we can transform our trials into triumphs.

5. What was your own reflection along the journey?

Reflecting on the journey that led me to where I am today, I am struck by the profound lessons learned not just in moments of triumph, but more significantly, in times of trial. Growth, I've come to understand, is not a linear path paved with successes, but a winding road marked by setbacks, self-doubt, and the eventual overcoming of those very challenges. Each step, each stumble, has been a lesson in resilience, teaching me that true growth often requires us to confront our deepest fears and to push beyond the boundaries of our comfort zones. It was through these experiences that I learned the importance of trust – not just in the people around me but, more crucially, in myself. Trusting in my own strength and wisdom to navigate through uncertainty became the cornerstone of my journey, allowing me to move forward even when the path ahead seemed insurmountable.

Self-acceptance, too, emerged as a pivotal theme in my reflections. In the early days, I grappled with the weight of my imperfections, often viewing them as barriers to my success and happiness. However, as I ventured further into my journey, I began to see these imperfections not as flaws, but as integral parts of the mosaic that makes up who I am. Embracing my vulnerabilities transformed them from sources of shame into sources of strength, enabling me to connect with others on a more authentic and profound level. This shift towards self-acceptance was liberating, allowing me to celebrate my unique journey and to recognize the value of my experiences, both the good and the bad. It taught me that we are all works in progress, and that there is beauty in the process of becoming, even as we strive towards better versions of ourselves.

6. What is the outcome in having this book available?

When I embarked on the journey to share my story, my primary motivation was rooted in a profound desire to illuminate paths for others who might be wandering in their own shadows of uncertainty and hardship. This wasn’t merely about recounting my experiences; it was an intentional act of reaching out, of extending a hand to those who might feel isolated in their struggles. The process of translating my journey into words was as much about healing myself as it was about offering solace and understanding to others. The realisation that my personal narrative could resonate and provide comfort to someone else solidified my commitment to this path. Hearing from readers who found a piece of themselves in my story, who drew courage from my challenges and insights, has been a deeply humbling and motivating experience. It reinforces my belief in the power of shared vulnerability and the strength that comes from knowing you are not alone. My hope has always been that by laying bare my own trials and triumphs, I could encourage others to embrace their journeys with a renewed sense of hope and purpose.

This endeavor to share has grown beyond personal catharsis into a broader mission to foster a community of support and empowerment. Each story shared, each life touched, underscores the transformative power of empathy and the importance of visibility in our collective journey towards healing and growth. My motivation to help others improve their lives is woven into every page, every shared experience, aiming to not just narrate a personal history but to participate in a larger dialogue of human resilience and potential. In doing so, I invite others to not only engage with my story but to see it as a mirror reflecting their own capacity for change and growth. The ultimate impact of sharing my story, then, is found in the connections it fosters, the conversations it ignites, and the lives it inspires to move towards light, healing, and self-discovery. Through this shared narrative, we collectively weave a tapestry of empowerment, demonstrating that improvement and transformation are not just possible but within reach for us all.

7. What would you advise others about writing their book?

Be bold, be brave, be resilient and never give up on getting your story out there. It is a therapeutic experience and if you are writing about your life then you will have emotions come up from the experiences in the past that you may not have properly dealt with when writing about it. Take some time out to deal with them and move forwards from them before continuing to write your book as it does not matter how long it takes to write, edit, design and publish your book as long as you continue writing it and never give up.

There is always going to be challenges to overcome along the way and if you stay strong you will complete it. I had two major setbacks when writing my first book, now I have a total of five books written and published including a Gratitude Diary eBook, three Quotes and Affirmation books and three online courses out there and you can, too. Just dare to be you and believe in yourself.

Lynette Diehm: “Dare To Be You”, Melbourne 2022, ISBN 978-0-64544473-5 (Paperback), 978-0-64544470-4 (Hardcover), 978-064544471-1 (eBook) or Kindle. More about the author: www.daretobeyou.net.au

About the reviewer: Gunnar Habitz helps organisations navigate and simplify computing and SaaS complexities as Senior Partner Manager and held management roles with entrepreneurial and mature global brands in Australia, APAC and Europe. As a Chartered Manager at the Institute of Managers and Leaders (IML), he mentors the next generation of leaders. Having published a range of books like “Connect & Act — Systematic Social Selling”, he is regularly reviewing good books. Find more content about leadership, networking and digital reputation on www.gunnarhabitz.com.au.