How To Break The Comparison Trap

“Look at them, I wish we were as happy as they are.”

“Well they’re off on yet another trip, must be nice to have that money.”

“I wish my marriage was like theirs.”

“Look at his/her body…must be nice to have all the time in the world to work out.”

Ever get trapped in this way of thinking?

Wishing you had something you perceive to be perfect?

Always looking at someone else’s life from afar and comparing your life to those you follow?

We all have.

Because it’s always right in our faces.

Our inner voice screaming at us that we should be more like them, our relationships should be more like theirs, our finances aren’t enough, our bodies aren’t IG worthy … the list goes on and on.

Therein lies the trap of comparison.

Assuming that these people have something you don’t, their relationship has something yours doesn’t, their workout program is better … and the voices of insecurity gets louder and louder and louder until it tears your relationship apart and/or causes depression.

I have some news for you.

It’s all bullshit.

That voice in your head saying you wish you were them or that you aren't good enough?

Nonsense.

Complete fiction.

If that voice in your head is that loud, then from my experience there’s only one thing to do: look inward.

Yes ... look at that person staring back at you in the mirror.

Be honest with that person staring back and ask yourself if you are doing what you need to be the best version of you to get what you think your friends have.

Why are your finances a mess?

Why is your body not the way you want it?

Why is your relationship not the way you’d like it?

Chances are you know the answers but are failing to take action because it’s easier to compare to others and think it’s unattainable.

The excuse machine in full effect.

Want the good news?

Everything you think you want and need is all attainable!

Here's the catch, though.

It’s going to take you to tell yourself the hard truth you’ve been avoiding.

That it’s your fault.

I know, a bit harsh.

And that is 100% OK.

You want it to be your fault: because then YOU have the POWER to CHANGE IT.

Let's start to change some mindset today: because it really is in your hands to change.

While everyone's situation is different, the below could at least get you moving in the right direction, let's check a few out each drilled down to it's basic core:

• Finances a mess? Sit down and see where the money leaks are. Talk with someone who got their finances in line and follow their lead. Be honest about where you are and where you’d like to be and make the needed changes to get there.
• Not where you want to be physically? Stop trying to run a 5k tomorrow when all you’ve done is sit on the couch for the last 3 years and start walking. Start small. Eat more vegetables and fruits. Talk with someone who has lost weight…what did they do and what can you learn from that? Focus on how you FEEL first, see if that exercise is right for you, and do something you enjoy. The results will come with consistency.
• Relationship stuck? Are you happy with you? Happiness cannot be found with someone else. Maybe you’re looking for your spouse to fill something that you should be doing for yourself and holding them to expectations they could never meet. TALK. BE HONEST. Even if it doesn’t work out you’ve already made yourself better by being you instead of who you think they want you to be.

I am no financial/relationship expert or a personal trainer…but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night (remember that commercial? No? OK well then that joke just fell flat then...Google it, OK?) … and I have been through all of the above at one point in time.

Some of the things I mentioned above I have been really successful with, some I still have a lot of work to do, but I’m always honest with myself and I try not to look at others and assume the life they live is better than mine.

Because it’s not.

Your life is your own.

As soon as you realize that it won’t matter what you see others doing, because you’ll be too busy making the most of who you are and what you want to be.

Funny thing is, as you work on you, you’ll find instead of assuming/being jealous of other’s lives…you’ll be happy for them and hope the best for them.

That’s where the real change is.

Everyone is fighting a battle internally, yours is no different.

Start fighting back.

For YOU.