How To Bravely Confront Your Fears

By Jack J. Kelly

Fear is one of the biggest challenges to overcome in a job search and managing your career.

We are afraid to discuss fear. If we did, in our culture, it would make us sound weak and timid. Our society demands strength, toughness and aggression. It is ignoble to be scared.

Despite everything we are taught by our parents, teachers and brainwashed by television and the movies to be brave and strong, most everyone suffers from some sort of fear. We become paralyzed into inertia, indecision and inaction. It is taboo to talk about it with our peers, friends and family. If we do, it would risk being ridiculed and looked down upon.

I have seen a significant amount of people that have lost amazing opportunities due to fear more than anything else. Here are some examples:

• The idea of interviewing with six to 10 people over a three to six month span of time is overwhelming and terrifying, so I am going to pass on the opportunity.
• I am scared to ask for a promotion because of the possible repercussions if the answer is “no.”
• I am not accepting a promotion in the event that it does not work out well.
• I am not going back to school because how could I at this age?
• I am not looking to switch careers because who would hire me without the experience?
• Ghosting out of the interview process is easier because the stress and anxiety is too much to handle.
• Relocating for a job (even if it is perfect) is crazy because that means starting all over again.
• I am going to ignore a call or email from any recruiter because I am concerned my employer may find out about it.
• I am rejecting an offer because I believe it would be too much to handle.
• I am accepting a counteroffer, since the devil I know is better than the one I don't know.
• I am passing on opportunities since my spouse, colleagues, friends, neighbors, boss and family would think I’m being foolish.

I am not going to pretend to be a psychiatrist and cure you. I do, however, have a couple of helpful suggestions. Think deeply about your life and career. Consider what you would really love to do next. Then ask yourself, what's holding you back? Be brutally honest with yourself. If you really want to do something special, but are holding back due to the fear of the unknown, then you owe it to yourself to take action.

Don't worry about the past and all of the bad things that have happened to you. Forget about the poor parenting, unpleasant childhood and previous misfortunes. The past is dead; it's gone and over. You are here now. This is the only time that matters. Not yesterday, not tomorrow, but today is what only counts. It is okay to be frightened. It's okay to be anxious and worried. We all are, but nobody will openly admit it.

Move forward with your dreams and goals even with your fear. Your stomach may churn, but keep moving forward anyway. You may be feeling sick on the inside with your mind racing, but keep going. Surprisingly, the momentum will carry you onward. Channel that negative energy. I’m not going to pretend it will be easy, but you will feel so much better about yourself. Even if things don't work out as planned, you can look at yourself in the mirror and be proud that you fought back against your fears. If you do succeed, imagine how amazing you will feel. It will empower you to take another chance, then the next one after that. You still may have fear, but now you know you could succeed at whatever you desire.

Please check out all my Forbes.com articles by clicking on this link. Thanks, Jack.

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