How to be a B.R.A.T.

A "Military brat" describes the child of a parent or parents serving full-time in the military. The term refers to both current and former children of such families. In my case I am a proud BRAT. I earned the title as the daughter of an enlisted Air Force munitions specialist Bob Duff. I was born in Japan and raised primarily in California, Utah and Texas, spending my high school years, up until senior year in England. Early in my senior year my dad was transferred to Korea and left us in Dallas, Texas. I went from a small military run school on base to a college sized school. To say there was culture shock is a great understatement.

I have fond memories of my childhood scattered with a few not so fond memories, such as being bused from a very nice military school to a not so nice inner city school where I was tortured on a daily basis just because of the color of my hair and skin. I don't regret that year as it taught me what it feels like to be different, to be treated unfairly just because of the color of your skin and how to learn to get along with those who just don't like you.

The military brat lifestyle typically involves moving to new states or countries many times while growing up, as the child's military family is customarily transferred to new non-combat assignments; consequently, many military brats never have a home town. I attended a new school every year until high school, where I became a "dormie" and spent school weeks away from my parents traveling back and forth from one base to the other on a bus. This provided much more freedom than I was used to and taught me how to take care of myself. Prior to that time my mother was a stay at home mom and had dinner on the table at the same time each day and flashed a light when it was time to come home for the day. In high school, since I was away from mom, I had the privilege of staying out till 9:00 p.m. as long as I kept my grades up. I learned so many valuable lessons during that time, made a few mistakes and created some lifelong relationships that have carried through till this day.

Things BRATs don't have:

• A hometown - moving every year makes that impossible. Although all of us graduated from somewhere, most don't go back for reunions because we did not have the privilege of graduating with our friends. I moved in the early part of my senior year and graduated with thousands of strangers.
• Roots - as a BRAT roots are counter intuitive. I describe it as move and erase and start over every few years.
• Lifelong school colleagues - although we have lasting friendships, we did not get to spend years together
• Close relationships with extended relatives - Grandma and Grandpa were people we saw once a year or every other year if lucky. My mom did not get to show me off till I was two years old.

Things BRATS do have:

• The ability to embrace differences - moving from place to place BRATs learn how to assimilate and embrace differences. We learn how to adapt to whatever weather, culture, and group we encounter.
• The ability to embrace change - BRATs know change is inevitable and we should not fight it and learn to make the best of it. And we know more often than not change is a good thing and no growth can come without change.
• The ability to get along with others - BRATS learn at an early age to treat everyone equally.

I haven't always embraced being a BRAT and sometimes have been saddened at the loss of things never known, but the older I get the more I learn about life and others, the more I am grateful to be a BRAT and have a BRAT's view of the world. It has helped me navigate the ladder of success in my career and in relationships and thanks to Facebook I have been able to reconnect with friends lost and reestablish friendships erased by moves.