HOW TO BOLDLY GIVE VOICE TO YOUR VALUE
May 2023
“My voice is born repeatedly in the fields of uncertainty…I take a deep breath and sidestep my fear and begin speaking from the place where beauty and bravery meet–within the chambers of a quivering heart.”
~Terry Tempest Williams, When Women Were Birds
What are you worth? What exactly is your value in this world?
Did you feel that? Your throat tightening? Maybe you held your breath? These are questions that many of us do not want to sit with for very long, if at all.?
FEELING VALUED IS AN ESSENTIAL HUMAN NEED
It’s understandable that many of us look to others’ approval to define our value in this world–our boss, colleagues, significant others, and, where it all started, our families. Once upon a time we needed our families to survive, especially our parents. Beyond our needs for food and shelter, we needed them to show us we were worthy of love and acceptance so that we could simply stay alive and thrive.?
FEELING VALUED IS AN INSIDE JOB
Despite how our families and colleagues treat us, feeling valued is an inside job. Most of us are uncertain of our value–at least on the surface. We know somewhere deep down inside how valuable, how worthy we are of the lives we long for. The only person we have to convince of our value is ourselves. Easier said than done, yes?
HOW TO VOICE YOUR VALUE?
START WITH YOUR UNCERTAINTY
Do I really deserve that salary? Do I actually qualify for that promotion? Do I really have the right to have a seat at the table? Do my ideas hold weight among experienced colleagues?
It’s so much easier to see someone else’s experience and value it before we even begin to invest in and recognize our own. We quickly dismiss and brush off our own experiences as trivial, imperfect, and simply not enough.?
FROM EXTERNAL ACHIEVEMENT TO INTERNAL EXPANSION?
Rather than think of your valuable experiences as only external achievements to bulk up your resume, begin to consider the internal growth you’ve gained over the years with every tough conversation, collaboration, compromise, and creative solution. Consider what others can’t see.?
The universe is 96% dark matter and dark energy–we can’t see or understand most of our universe, and yet it is incredibly powerful, creative, and resourceful. As humans, we forget that so much of our lives happens in unseen moments and dimensions–how hard we work behind the scenes to keep it all together and keep ourselves evolving closer to our authenticity and true gifts. What matters to us most (love, belonging, satisfaction, meaning, etc.) cannot be seen, measured, or defined.?
Celebrate all of it! As you pause to celebrate external achievements, allow yourself to also honor and give value to those unseen evolutions. Intentionally value and what can’t be measured and revere it: patience, compassion, joy, optimism, curiosity, endurance, empathy, fierce determination, etc.?
Ask yourself:
? How have I become a better communicator??
? How will my voiced experiences help a team examine more perspectives??
? How will my shared approach empower others to consider new and more natural possibilities??
? How will my patience, anger, or insight inspire those around me to bring their most authentic selves to their roles?
Often what’s most valuable about us, can’t be explained, defined, or articulated. When we begin to value who we are alongside what we do, voicing our worth becomes not only natural, but fun! Who we are on the inside is incredibly valuable and worthy.?
THE VALUE OF BEING HUMAN
“If the world is to be healed through human efforts, I am convinced it will be by ordinary people, people whose love for this life is even greater than their fear.”
~ Joanna Macy
It’s easy for all of us to take ourselves seriously, making it tempting to hide what we perceive as shortcomings, flaws, or outright failures. How much of our doing and producing is actually an attempt to make up for our perceived imperfections? More than we realize.
It’s so much easier, truly more gracious, to acknowledge our humanity. We can be honest about moments when we didn’t perform as well as we’d hoped, and share stories about pretending to know something when we didn’t.?
FROM DENIAL TO AWARENESS OF OUR HUMANITY
Our culture covertly and overtly encourages us to deny our humanity. Often, we become so skilled at denial that we don’t even realize we’re hiding anything at all. The denial of our emotions, physical health, and mental needs becomes automatic.?
Reclaiming awareness and acceptance of your humanity is a powerful investment. Investing in your humanity is a powerful way to value yourself and those around you. This isn’t something you need to fabricate.? Your passions, your opinions, your experiences and all of your imperfections . . . your humanity is the quintessence of value.??
YOU ARE YOUR OWN BEST MENTOR AND EXPERT
How many times have you felt completely confident about yourself and a decision you’ve made, only to have doubt swallow you whole when one person questions you. We’ve all been there. In this moment, it’s essential to remember our humanity. One person’s opinion is simply that–an opinion.?
As humans, we have a variety of experiences and an infinite number of ways to interpret and internalize those experiences. In an effort to help others, we too can fall into the trap of projecting and even manipulating outcomes that make us feel comfortable rather than actually help us grow and evolve.?
So when you question yourself because someone else doubts you, remember we’re all humans with limited perspectives. Trust your intuition. Take a few breaths, come back to your body, and remember you and your ideas are completely worth it. Indulge in every accomplishment, experience and expansion despite what others think.
THE PLEASURE OF TRUST
“Caring passionately about something isn’t against nature, and it isn’t against human nature. It’s what we’re here to do.”
~Annie Dillard
Many of us feel that pleasure is a luxury, maybe even something selfish to be avoided. However, when we truly slow down to take pleasure in our accomplishments, experiences, and circumstances, we will find that we learn to trust ourselves. We refine and hone our senses. We begin to know what feels good and aligned with our values and what does not.?
Pleasure isn’t necessarily about comfort and certainty. Pleasure is about allowing ourselves to experience new sensations in the moment without any judgment or stories that come with a litany of “shoulds.” We simply allow ourselves time to feel what makes us come alive–the thing that makes our blood pulse and our breath deepen.?
VOICE YOUR EXPERIENCE
When we give voice to our experience, we give it authority (not authoritarianism), we give it substance. The root of the word authority is author. When we give voice to our value, we take control of our self-worth. We let people know not only that we are worthy, but also that we know we are worthy. This tends to result in others trusting us. It’s not about over-selling ourselves, it’s about being Real.?
Imposter syndrome runs rampant when we feel we have to hide our humanity and imperfections. Our voice wants truth. Speak up about all of it–your accomplishments and your shortcomings. The more Real you are, the more you will surround yourself with those who align with your values.? These people will trust and value you.?
The journey to Real begins with you. What stories are you telling yourself about your worth, about your value? Tell the truth. The whole truth–which includes how valuable you are to everyone you connect with.
‘i love myself.’
the?
quietest.
simplest.
most
powerful.
revolution.
ever.
~ Nayyirah Waheed
When we value ourselves, we love all of ourselves - the good, the bad, the ugly, the pretty and everything in between. We remember that we deserve every opportunity we seek and that is seeking us. No one knows you better than you. No one can love you better than you. Now, word by word, begin to voice your value. Have fun and come alive. Let the world know you have something valuable to give.?
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Sales Assistant at Poundland & Dealz/Author/Spiritual Poet/
6 个月Hi Chanchai, Enjoy my poem, In realms of power, where kings hold sway, Prophets foretold a brighter day. Shepherd, Savior, eternal Friend, His love and grace know no end. "The Scriptures testify of Me," He said, Yet doubts and questions fill hearts with dread. "Who is He?" the skeptics cry, But sinless He, with truth held high. "I and the Father are one," He proclaimed, Eternal life through faith, His promise untamed. "No one comes to the Father but through Me," Before time's dawn, glory eternally. Lunatic, liar, legend, or Lord? The evidence in Scripture, a treasure stored. See how He touched the learned and wise, His teachings, miracles, a wondrous surprise. He challenged the world, His influence spread, Boldly facing death, His blood He shed. No motive for deceit, His truth shone bright, A life of sacrifice, a beacon of light. He healed the sick, the broken, the lost, Compassionate heart, at any cost. Universities, care for orphans and old, His ethics inspire, stories yet untold. From humble beginnings, His impact profound, Music, art, literature, His love resounds. Historical accounts beyond the sacred page, Confirm His existence, throughout every age.