How Bluey Got Me Through - A Mental Health Moment

The summer of ‘21 was hardly a blur for me. It would become one of the most intense mental health challenges I had ever faced. On the surface, it should have looked like one of the triumphant scenes you see in a movie. You know, Will Smith clapping and crying as he had just been told he got the job on Wall Street. Or Frodo waking up to Gandolf and his smiling white bead after defeating Sauron in Mordor. I had just finished earning my certified safety professional designation a few months prior and now I was stepping into my first managerial role. Life was changing and it was looking like a cinematic dream come true for me and my family.?

Yet, in the background of all these achievements there was a daunting truth about to be revealed. My youngest daughter Gemma, at only 9 months old, was scheduled to have her 2nd open heart surgery that July.

Gemma was born with an atrioventricular canal defect, which at my level means there’s “a hole in the wall between the heart’s chambers.” That news alone left Gladys (my wife) and me devastated when we first heard it almost a year prior. To add more suspense, the world was in the trenches of COVID and there were countless restrictions, unknowns, and uncertainty that left me feeling helpless for many months on end.

The worry of Gemma’s surgery, the stress of the pandemic, the anxiety of starting a new job. It seemed like there was a colossal vice grip of pressure during this season and I couldn’t find any relief valve in sight.?

I’ll never forget it. The day after Gemma's surgery (15 plus hours) and the only way I can describe how I saw her was “The Girl with a Thousand Wires”. The moment I laid my eyes on her, it hit me. Panic. Sheer terror ran through my entire body. My breath was gone. I sobbed uncontrollably. The only thing I remember was Gladys saying to one of the nurses, “This is the first time he has seen her since before the surgery”.? I’ve never experienced a panic attack before in my life, but in that moment I was completely undone by what Gemma had endured.

How do you overcome something so terrifying??

For so many, the awareness of mental health has never been more palatable than these last few years. Depression has risen to new heights. Suicide has become more rampant. These are real dangers that we have to be honest about if we have any hope and expectation to address healing.

It was far from easy, but thankfully, Gladys and I found ways to connect and be each other's person even when our emotional tanks were empty. We walked around the hospital, DoorDashed like crazy; hopped on Facebook Lives to connect with friends and family. Then there was Bluey!

One day after work, I walked into Gemma's room and Gladys was cackling (I mean laughing hard), watching this family of dogs with Australian accents. At first, I had that little blond head girl in the backseat confused look meme (you know the one…Ha!). But it didn’t take long after watching a few minutes of an episode that I was hooked. It was sweet, hilarious, insightful, and outrageously relevant. Who knew these cute little canines would be the catalyst for restoration. One of the biggest messages I got from the Heeler Family, was resilience with love. Yes, I had no clue what the next hour might look like for Gemma but what I could do was show up and be present with her and Gladys and enjoy them. In the midst of the whirlwind and storms of life, we have to find that strength to take the next step. To call someone we trust who will listen to our hearts. To cry and be okay when it hurts. To take a deep breath, and simply remember, you’re alive. That’s a gift.

Now, Gemma has successfully grown leaps and bounds from her days in the NICU. Our family continues to heal and refine what we want our lives to look like. There is real hope blowing in the wind. So as we all reflect on mental health this month, please make it a point to find the time and space to check in with yourself. Don’t be embarrassed or intimidated to seek professional help if that’s what you need. You and I are not weird for doing so. We’re human. So be the best human you can be, by loving yourself enough to give your “mind” the attention it needs.