How to be a better inclusive leader and how to promote yourself.
Winitha Bonney OAM - Keynote Speaker
?? Global Keynote speaker; Facilitator; Executive Coach ?? Powering teams to lead the future today
**Disclaimer: The information on this newsletter does not substitute for professional and qualified advice and is intended to be general in nature. Always seek advice from a qualified and certified psychologist and health professional first.
We have one of the greatest gifts - and that is self-agency and autonomy. There are multiple perspectives on the below, and not all will be applicable to all contexts. Exercise your agency and autonomy on what is helpful to you and throw out the rest ;)
Not all complaints get reported. So find the ones that don't.?
When I work with leaders on inclusion, we focus on two areas: the employee experience and the consumer experience. Both are important, and both are interrelated in driving a purpose-led organisation and brand.
In our sessions, leaders sometimes tell me that consumer engagement is great or that in their last employee engagement survey, feelings of inclusion and belonging were high.
Apart from the fact that a lack of diversity is why everyone is feeling included and wondering, if this is true, then why the hell am I there?, I remind leaders that not all complaints get reported.?
There have been many times when I have been in a job or shopping in a store and I have experienced discrimination and not reported it.?
From a business context we also know that what gets reported isn’t always reported UP, and that information travelling up often gets diluted in a trade-off for ‘high level’ reporting.?
Cue Sidney Yoshida’s study on the iceberg of ignorance.?
Our job as leaders is to get under the iceberg. Our people and consumers are experts in their own experiences and their own needs. We need to go to them directly so we can understand the full picture of what the problems (really) are and what they perceive the solution to be. The greatest ideas and solutions aren't going to come from us because we have x role title and get paid x. They usually come from our people at all levels and areas of the business.? ?
'Walk the shop floor'
In retail, there is a phrase called “walk the shop floor.”? In innovation, we say, “Get outside the building.”
Rather than sitting in their glass box, one executive spends every Wednesday every fortnight in one store—like, the whole day. They don’t just ‘walk the shop floor’ they ‘work’ the shop floor. Over the day team members see this executive getting their hands dirty so to speak and doing all the tasks you would do daily in a store. They start to gain the team members trust who then?gradually start to share what’s going on for them,?what they see?as areas for improvement,?as well as what they are seeing consumer patterns.
The executive also talks to consumers (they don’t disclose their role; they are simply a team member in the store). They watch and observe gaps between what was planned strategically and operationally and what is happening, and they walk away informed, not ignorant. They also gain more status and influence with front-line staff.
Good leaders rely on data. What do Great leaders do?
Great leaders get outside their glass boxes consistently. It’s a weekly and sometimes daily ritual. They engage directly and informally with consumers and employees. They are never ‘too busy’ to do the work that counts the most; connecting with people.? Swap role status for humility
When it comes to ‘walking the shop floor’, it requires humility. It’s not simply about the ability to roll up your tasks and ‘get your hands dirty’. It’s about the energy you carry. Employees and consumers can sniff ego?from a mile away. There is nothing worse than asking a question about how to improve or solve a problem and receiving an answer only to justify why you can’t do things that way, how you’ve got that solution planned already, or how what you’re doing is working and we don't actually have a problem. That's not listening and valuing people's input. That's ego.? Humility is about knowing what you’re good at and what you’re not. It’s about telling your team when you don't know the answer and not viewing your role title as “above” others. It's asking for their help.? It means valuing their time, experiences, and perspectives (sovereignty) over yours and recognizing consumers and employees as experts in their own experiences and needs.?
Tell solutions our problems
One of the things I’ve been learning lately is to be more discerning with who I tell my ‘problems’ to.
There are 2 kinds of people;
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People who know how to stay in the mud with you are people who literally sit in it with you. They don’t try to fix it or you, offer advice, amplify the problem by dramatising it or going into ‘story’ or dismiss your emotions. We also need to be discerning about people who have a mask of care who deep down (consciously or unconsciously) revel in our suffering because it elevates them or validates their own. We need to be smart about reaching out to people who genuinely care for us, as well as have the skills to sit in the mud in an emotionally intelligent way. Not everyone who cares about you has the skills to sit in the mud.
And sometimes the people who have the skills don’t have an emotional attachment to you (i.e psychologist) or genuinely?care.?
Be discerning and choose skills and care over attachment.?
Healing work can be self-centered
A friend sent a very thought-provoking article yesterday on how healing work can actually prevent healing, and by prevent, I’m talking about when we make healing work our full-time job or are dogmatic about it.
There are some that need to make healing work their full time job and for others, making it a full-time job can prevent healing and amplify or create more pain and suffering (i.e., guilt and shame at missing morning affirmations or ‘not doing the work’).
Living in individualistic societies, there can be an over-focus on oneself in connection to mental health and healing work.
Looking at ancient spiritual practices, high-context cultures and ancestral ways of living, there is something about serving others (yes, even when we are feeling emotions of pain in suffering) that can actually bring out real healing for ourselves.?
This doesn’t mean that we abandon our needs and do not feel or process emotions. It means that when we help others we end up helping ourselves in the process. We find meaning and meaning is necessary to healing. ?
Many of us have heard the phrase ‘when someone tells you who they are you better believe it.
Yet most of us don’t.?
I am learning to look at every interaction as data.?
I.e., when a friend tells me about how their mom hurt their feelings, I reflect on what this tells me about how this person deals with conflict.?
When a friend tells me about how they are really good at putting emotions in a box - I reflect on how avoidance in feeling and processing emotions usually means toxic relationships.
When a person tells you they are emotionally intelligent, do their behaviours, actions, and decisions back it up?
I’ve started a practice in the evening where I unpack (through journaling) the interactions at the end of the day and lightly and unattachedly ask myself what these interactions tell me about the person and their ability to have a healthy relationship with me. What is the "data" telling me.? Toxic relationships aren't always start out strongly toxic and toxicity isn't always in your face. It can be subtle and it can start off slowly.? Have a practice where you really listen?to your?intuition as well as your thinking brain.? Life is to short to be in toxic relationships.?
Inclusive?Leadership and Psychological Safety Training Do your leaders understand their responsibility in leading inclusion and psychological safety in your organisation? There are numerous legal, ethical and moral obligations on leaders to proactively create safe and inclusive workplaces. Get 4 learning modules that can be delivered virtually, or pre-recorded for your company’s learning management library.
Need a KEYNOTE Speaker? I offer an insightful, practical, and solutions-oriented approach to how you can make inclusion, psychological safety and empathy?part of your brand’s identity, culture and consumer experience.
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Got a Question? Need help?? If you need help achieving your goals and are willing to do what is needed to achieve it in half the time with double the impact, then reach out. I would love to discuss with you how I can help.
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