How to Be Better: Develop Mental Toughness

LeBron James has it. Jasmine Paolini practices it between every set of every tennis match. Noah Lyles swears by it. What exactly is 'it'?

Mental Toughness.

This elusive quality sets apart the greats from the good, the champions from the contenders. But here's the thing: mental toughness isn't just for elite athletes or those in the sporting realm. It's a skill that can transform your life, help you overcome challenges, pursue your goals, and achieve your fullest potential.

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." - Martin Luther King Jr.

Have you ever found yourself giving up when faced with a difficult challenge? Or perhaps you've avoided pursuing your goals because you fear failure, criticism, or simply because it's too hard? If so, you're not alone. Many struggle with mental toughness, that ability to persevere in the face of adversity.

But what if I told you that mental toughness isn't just an innate trait, but a skill that can be developed and strengthened over time, no matter your circumstances?

CONTEXT

As a mental performance coach, I've worked with numerous individuals who initially believed they lacked the mental fortitude to achieve their goals. Some felt overwhelmed by moments in-game, while others lacked self-belief. They often experienced high levels of stress, were discouraged by setbacks, or paralysed by self-doubt.

The impact of mental toughness on performance is profound and far-reaching.

A recent systematic review published in 2024 found that mental toughness is correlated with better performance, goal progress, stress management, coping, optimism, self-reflection, confidence, constancy, control, positive cognition, visualisation, and the ability to face challenges [1]. These findings underscore why developing mental toughness is crucial not just for athletes, but for anyone looking to excel in their field and lead a more fulfilling life.

Like a glass ceiling, a lack of mental toughness creates invisible barriers, preventing you from reaching your potential and executing when it matters, no matter your circumstances.

The challenges of lacking mental toughness include:

• Giving up too easily when faced with obstacles or setbacks.
• Avoiding risks and opportunities for growth due to fear of failure.
• Struggling to maintain focus and motivation in the face of distractions or difficulties.

To thrive in these situations and maintain composure, you need to develop mental toughness. This isn't about being harsh or unfeeling, but about developing resilience, focus, and the ability to push through discomfort to reach your objectives.

THE METHOD

To start developing your mental toughness, focus on these three key strategies:

1. Practice mindfulness and self-awareness: Regularly check in with your thoughts and emotions. Ask yourself, why am I feeling this way? Is this in my control? What have past experiences taught me about this? Have I given myself time to absorb and process things? Recognise negative self-talk and learn to reframe it positively. You don't have to ignore negative thoughts; you process them. Mindfulness helps you stay present and focused, even in challenging situations.
2. Set challenging goals and persist: Your brain loves comfort and seeks familiar, less challenging environments. It's a protective mechanism to avoid potential stress or danger. To the extent possible, put yourself out of your comfort zone by setting ambitious goals that you can track. No doubt, you'll face obstacles, so when you do, search for learning moments within them. There are opportunities in every challenge.
3. Welcome Discomfort: Deliberately expose yourself to challenging situations. Understand that mental toughness is not a superhuman ability, but a skill that can make you stronger. This could involve physical challenges like a more intense workout or mental challenges like overcoming perfectionism, dealing with criticism, or handling uncertainty. The more you practice facing discomfort, even in small ways, the more resilient you'll become.

CHALLENGE

This week, identify one area in your life where you tend to give up easily, avoid challenges, or struggle with. It could be in your professional life, personal relationships, or a personal skill you'd like to develop. Choose one small but challenging task in this area and commit to seeing it through, no matter how uncomfortable it feels. Be specific: what, why, how, etc. Include timeframes.

The clearer the goal, the easier it is to remain focused.

As you start working on this task, start paying attention to your thoughts and emotions. At certain moments you will feel like giving up, and when you do, pause and remind yourself that this discomfort is an opportunity for growth.

Later, reflect on how you feel after pushing through the challenge and what you've learned about yourself in the process. You'd be surprised at how adaptable your brain is.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

The best do it, now you can too.

Mental toughness isn't about never feeling fear, doubt, or discomfort. It's about acknowledging these feelings through mindfulness and pushing forward despite them.

When you consistently challenge yourself and reframe obstacles as opportunities, you start developing the mental resilience needed to not just reach your goals, but live a more fulfilling life.

Until next time,

Oliver

Mental Performance Coach

[1] https://www.researchgate.net/publication/380150103_Mental_Toughness_May_Have_an_Impact_on_Athlete's_Performance_Systematic_Review