How is being unemployed affecting your well-being?

I write a lot about doing work you love. In fact I recently wrote a post about how to keep your dream job alive while you are looking for work . I think it’s important to have a vision of what your dream job is.

But ask yourself this: Are you taking advantage of the opportunities that come your way or are you passing them by because you are too focused on climbing a ladder?

Meet Joe. Joe is in his 50s and worked at an advertising agency in a director-level account role. He was laid off last year. When we spoke, Joe had been unemployed for nearly six months. He was doing all the right things: applying for jobs, getting some interviews, and networking with friends and former colleagues. He was actively "out there" looking for work.

Joe received a call from a former colleague about a big new client the agency had just won. They needed help onboarding the client, and his former colleague asked if Joe would be interested in working freelance to help set them up for success. Joe’s answer was an easy yes.

The freelance rate wasn't as high as he wanted, but it was a solid contract for a few months, possibly longer, with the potential of going permanent later on.

Joe is a dad with two kids—one in college and one a junior in high school. He is happily married. He has a mortgage, a car lease, and he helps care for his aging parents. He and his wife lead busy lives. His wife has a demanding job as a VP at a consulting firm. They enjoy spending time with friends and family. Joe has a full life.

Being laid off for 6 months was not on his bingo card but like so many talented professionals that’s exactly what happened to him.

Given the current job market, Joe saw the contract job as an opportunity to get back to work. Being unemployed for so long wore him down. Not working was affecting his mental health and putting stress on his marriage. He was worried about paying his mortgage and his child’s college tuition. He wasn’t sleeping well and was constantly stressed. His health was suffering.

Like so many talented professionals who lost their jobs, Joe began to question himself. Was there something wrong with him? Was he still capable of doing his job? The contract role offered him a chance to get back on track—a stopgap to regain his confidence and relieve some of the stress he was feeling.

Fast forward a few months, and Joe received an offer to join the agency full-time. But it wasn’t the offer he wanted. The salary was lower than his last full time salary, and the title didn’t reflect his 20+ years of experience.

What should he do? Should he accept the offer, continue freelancing, or go back to the exhausting task of applying for job after job?

The question is, when is the right time to accept an offer even if it’s not your dream job?

Joe and I talked about what was most important to him right now. Was it a big salary? A title that reflected his experience? Or was having a job what he needed most? How was being out of work affecting his health and well-being? We talked about whether this job could serve as a bridge to his dream job.

After going back to the agency with a counteroffer, Joe negotiated a more senior title. He accepted the job, even though the salary wasn’t exactly what he had hoped for.

Now Joe can breathe a little easier. He has a full-time job with benefits. He works with people he likes, he’s doing work he enjoys, and it’s helping him regain his confidence. Is it his dream job? No. But for right now, that’s okay.

This job allows him to get back into his groove, to be recognized for doing good work. It lets him spend less time worrying about bills and more time with his kids. He’s able to sleep better and relieve some of the stress he and his wife were feeling. Honestly, it gives him a reason to put pants on every day.

So is it really okay to take a job even though it isn’t your dream job?

Those of us in our late 40s and 50s are Gen X-ers. We belong to the "sandwich generation," between Baby Boomers and Millennials. Growing up, we were told we could “have it all.”

We are the internet generation. The generation of possibility. We were raised to do better than our parents. We are hardworking and always striving for more. Many of us have kids, and most of us have aging parents. We’re also dealing with ageism, which affects women earlier than men. Our desire to "have it all" has programmed us to view success as climbing a corporate ladder. We work hard to improve our lives. We’re programmed to want more.

But all the pressure to grow our careers, take care of our families, and live fulfilling lives can sometimes make us believe that saying yes to a job without a big title and a higher salary is wrong. We think taking a step back to eventually take a step forward means we aren’t advancing. We worry that not "having it all" means we aren’t successful.

But maybe sometimes taking a step back to take care of yourself is the right thing to do.

Give yourself permission to do what’s right for you and your family. Stop comparing yourself to other people with big-sounding jobs and fancy titles. Stop worrying about what the neighbors will say if your kids didn’t go to camp in Vermont this summer. Sometimes, we just need to take a step back, think about what we need and take care of ourselves.

Career progression doesn’t always follow a straight line. Life is short—not every job has to be the "big job."

Find out more about getting support in your journey to finding health and wellness in your life. My role as your coach is to help you make the best decisions about your job and what you eat so that you can feel good. https://www.robinfischman.coach/