How being in face of death, woke me up and turned me into a published author

One of the most overrated phrases of which I heard the first time, over my blasting headphones while covered in sheets and laying in bed in my dorm at Vaal University of Technology, from motivational speaker Les Brown is this:

The richest place on Earth is the graveyard because it is here that you will find all the hopes and dreams that were never fulfilled, the books that were never written, the songs that were never sung, the inventions that were never shared, the cures that were never discovered, all because someone was too afraid to take that first step, keep with the problem, or determined to carry out their dream.”

?Although overrated, this phrase remains the punch-in-the-gut wake up call. Come to think of it; it is no longer exclusive news that we humans tend to take time to take action, we tend to wait until we FEEL ready, we tend to talk ourselves out of doing things we already know we should be doing. We tend to retreat to comfort because vulnerability tends to stirr the life out of us. We'd rather stay stuck and in negativity over empowering ourselves and being positive because that'd mean that we need to go out there, be vulnerable and start living differently and sometimes doing the hard things. Vulnerability seems to frightens us more than public speaking and death do. We prefer putting things off for tomorrow, "I'll do it" we always say that, but what if you won't and can't? What if you won't have time?

How many people do you know that passed on and still had plans to do it, tomorrow, next Monday, next year or when they're ready? I know some , and for sure you do too. And that, that's what makes the graveyard rich. Who knows, maybe we have already lost a mind that could've fixed the loadshedding nuisance in South Africa, or we are on brink of losing it. Maybe we've lost or are on the brink of losing a mind that could solve the most pressing social ills in the world. And my not so prophetic guess would be, because they wanted to FEEL ready first, they thought they still had time, they kept postponing to do it, they were afraid of failing. Those are all valid feelings and human prompts. It happens that we want to feel ready, and not always because we are perfectionists and overthinkers but because we have hunches that it's not yet the right moment. But then at some point you need to do it. Waiting to feel ready because you're scared of failure will lead to you waiting forever because let's face it, we are rarely 100% ready and sure. You need to do it with that 60% and afraid. Thinking you still have time is a good motivator to encourage you to work on your dreams and dream new dreams without beating yourself up about being late and too old to change your life. However, sometimes it does get late. Sometimes the energy you once had will not be accessible anymore. It is great to start your KFC at the age of 80 but it's that what you really want and just by a stroke of luck? That's good motivation, but won't it be nice to start your KFC now when you truly want it and not leave anything to the miracle working God??

Now the title of this article is about how I started writing and publishing books as a result of being in the face of death.?When COVID-19 hit it released an enormous amount of anxiety in me. During the first 21 day hard lockdown I didn't go outside the house. I treated the virus like a lion roaming the streets. An invisible predator in the dream that always finds you and you can't run away from it because sleep paralysis would be having you by your toes. I felt like the virus would just sneak in and find me. Out of all people. I literally felt sick (and believed I had COVID) and had all the symptoms just from watching the news and scrolling through the internet. My paranoia was out of this world. And my anxiety levels was off the charts. I found myself selling my TV because I couldn't help but track the number of cases. COVID revealed the one truth that I've never really admitted consciously to myself - that I was scared of death. Just the idea of death itself squeezes the life juices out of me. COVID made me come face to face with my mortality, and the uncertainty of it all made me cry whenever president Cyril Ramaphosa led our "family meeting" on the screen and went, "Alert level 5" I cried. I was so scared about how real that was and how no one seemed to know what was going to happen in the future. There was no future to even think about. And there I was, 26 and still dreaming of the future. The future that was now uncertain. I remember thinking, "If I die right now, I'd be a very angry ancestor. I'm not done living and doing the stuff I want to do."?

One morning I was on my knees praying and I was pleading with God that He gives me another chance because I was going to die with the knowledge I knew was not available and truly believed I needed to share with the world. At my core I've always been a teacher. I've always reported from the streets. When I know stuff or have an epiphany that I feel will help someone, I share it. At the time I was still working in the start-up community helping entrepreneurs build and grow their businesses, and have just unearthed that most of them don't need consulting but education (I was their strategy consultant). There was still a knowledge gap regarding entrepreneurship as a process itself. And helping them with their business cases without equipping them with the know-hows was not going to be sustainable. I thought about young people in schools and how I wanted to share with them about the untold truths about life, careers and just making it in life. I thought about the ideas I had for corporates and government. I was not ready to leave. I'm telling you I was going to be a very angry ancestor. So I pleaded my case with God. For another chance. I started thinking about my legacy. It made me think, because we are living on borrowed time what can I do to ensure that I max out my potential, share all the gifts I'm here to share and create the support system that can help my nephews and nieces experience a better life than I did...and then I've thought about an archive and teaching. I decided that I was gonna create an archive that preserve my knowledge so that people that are here and will come after me can access. At the time, I thought about entrepreneurs and the blueprints I felt they needed and started putting them together. And right at the heart of the pandemic, I wrote and published books. The pandemic also gave me a reality check; that messing around with excuses and drinking up fear won't help me. That there's no longer "when I grow up I want to be 123." The time was NOW. We are living in interesting times where nobody really cares about what you're doing with your life, we are just giving them too much credit. The times during which you'd learn that people and the society do really catch up. The times during which you need to decide right now to do the stuff that make you come alive, and let everything else fall off. This generation has done the work in breaking the constructs around what success really is. And reality did it's bit too. Who would've guessed that we will live during a time where having multiple degrees doesn't guarantee you a job? Things have changed. You just make your own rules, mind your own business and make the things that make you come alive. This line of thinking is what made me surrender to being a professional speaker, full-time, and quit consulting, last year on my birthday. I knew speaking makes me come alive. I'm a Possibilitarian and I just love creating possibilities of success for people. And the immediacy of impact that comes with the power of words, connecting with people and genuinely wanting to see people succeed, reconnected me to the energy of a 16 year old me, the first time I stood up in front of people and started planting the seed of possibility. On my birthday 2nd of October next month, it'd be a year since I fully surrender to being a gladiator in suits and sneakers, dress and heels, as a full-time professional speaker and an author. (This is a moment I can entice you to #saymyname to recommend me in your organization when you or your team leader is looking for a motivational or keynote speaker, and to check out and purchase a copy of my latest book Gain Competitive Advantage: 10 practical strategies you can use to unlock Employee Engagement, drive team performance, and build resilience to maintain relevance in a constantly changing world. Preview my speaking value propositions and the books on my website www.kgadimmanakana.co.za ??)

You don't need to be in the face of death to start doing the things you want to do, makes you come alive and that maxes out your potential and makes you happy. You just need to allow yourself to do the hard things and brave your dreams and the call of your soul.?

Remember, it does get too late. We don't always get a second chance.?What are you postponing and pushing back of which you already know that you want to do??

Let me be cute with you;?

Nobody can dance the way you dance, sing the way you sing, lead the way you lead, write the way you wrote, speak the way you speak, hey nobody can walk the way you walk. Those whispers of your soul are unique to you. Those dreams you have are God's thoughts asking for permission to live, and the good and sucky part of it is that they can only live through you, so allow them to live. Your desires are the imprints of your soul giving you clues about the life you should be leading in order to evolve into the most highest and truest expression of yourself.?So, give yourself a chance.