How to be/feel in control during a Pandemic.

What's Happening?

It is easy for us to feel that everything is out of control, because of the current situation, which kind of is, or at least, out of our own control. And THAT can have a huge effect on our mental state. 

This can be worse if, A-You are not currently working, B- You have been let go of your job/internship, C- nothing of the preceding happened but the idea of what's coming up in the future is too much to handle..! 

Basically, we feel powerless, there's nothing major we can door change and we have to sit there and wait it out...

What's the proof? 

I have been reading this amazing book called Presence by Dr. Amy Cuddy, an American social psychologist, author, and speaker, which I 100% recommend for you to read; I came across this eye-opening part:

" When we feel powerful, we feel free - in control, unthreatened, and safe. As a result, we are attuned to opportunities more than threats. We feel positive and optimistic, and our behavior is largely unrestricted by social pressures." 

If this doesn't sum up what we're going through.. I don't know what would. And this doesn't only sum it up but it gives us insight not only how to approach this but also the game-changing element we ought to do. Let's break it down.

Situation Overview

THINGS WE CAN'T CONTROL:

• The distant future, how exactly our situation will be, let's say a year from now.
• Tomorrow and what might change negatively or positively. We just need to reach it and see.
• How people around us feel about the situation.
• How long the general confinement will be held and the uncertainty around it.
• The information overload we are witnessing about the Virus itself; they found a vaccine, possible treatments, new discoveries...

THINGS WE CAN CONTROL:

• The daily routine that we have customized according to our situation
• Developing professional and/or recreational skills; this will help you develop those skills that you wished you had more time for before.
• Our attitude & response: it's the time when we have to be proactive instead of reactive; by setting up a plan for our routine, creating a happy place and paying attention to what triggers our stress to steer away from it. This will consequently develop our Adaptability and problem-solving skills.
• Maintaining & strengthening our relationships. Friendships, Family, boyfriend, girlfriend, cousins.. you name it, we have all the time in the world now to make up for the lost one. Plus this helps us to always remember that we are all in this together; Sharing is caring!
• Screen time! We are the only ones who will control how long we can stay in front of a screen. That's why we should block a certain time in our day in which we cut down on our screen time whether spent on our computer or phone or even the TV. This is when we can read a book, do a puzzle, meditate or do any activity that doesn't demand the usage of any form of gadgets! Yes I had to use that word for emphasis.

Why focus on what we can't control..? 

Anxiety infusing: 

Trying to control the things you can't control will make you feel hopeless, powerless and therefore, increase your anxiety. We can't deny that having a sense of control and being in charge of our lives, empowers us. Even though we can only focus on a smaller range of things, we still can, and that's what we should redirect our focus on now.

Time & energy wasteful:

Spending time dwelling on the things that aren't in our control will only waste our time that we could've spent in a more productive way, as well as the mental energy that goes along with it. You'll end up feeling dreaded and exhausted.

 You'll feel Stuck:

Nothing is worse than feeling like we're on a running wheel, doing the same thing over and over again without the ability to stop. This goes back to focusing on what we can concretely and tangibly do to be fueled with motivation and positivity that we still can manage our lives to a degree like we used to.

Main Strategy

MAXIMIZING OUR SENSE OF PRESENCE & CONTROL:

Big words, I know, but the actions to take are simple! Two amazing books that have changed my perspective and I can see now their helpful and enriching impact on my mentality during such a crisis. The first one I have mentioned earlier which is "Presence" by Amy Cuddy and the second one is "13 things mentally strong people don't do" by Amy Morin. 

On one of the chapters from presence “How powerlessness Shackles the Self (and How Power Sets It Free)”, Amy Cuddy proceeds to talk about how powerlessness activates a behavioral inhibition system making us feel anxious, pessimistic and more pron social pressures, therefore we can't be fully present because we are experiencing loss of confidence and ambition, as if someone else is pulling our own strings.

So let's recapitulate; Focusing on what we can't control --> feeling powerless --> feeling anxious and pessimistic --> Not present and secure in our current state --> Pron to social pressure -- > Deeply affected by the negative/ limiting aspects of the current state --> Focusing on what we can't control again ... You wouldn't want that loophole effect right? We just need to live each present day at a time.

One of the 13 things that mentally strong people don't do, that Amy Morin mentioned, is that they don't focus on things they can't control. We can neither control everything nor give up control completely and leave everything up to ''fate''. The best thing to do is to develop a balanced sense of control. We can achieve this by examining and defining our beliefs about what we can realistically control and what we can't. Okay, let's take an example, that the author mentioned, that has nothing to do with this pandemic, just so we can understand this objectively; like when you can host a good party, but you can't control whether people have fun. You did your best when it comes to hosting, but the enjoyment of the party itself when it comes to other individuals is not something you can control.

Increase you ROI

At this point we have to look at it from a financial perspective; what you put in (invest), is what you get out! The more positivity, presence and productivity we put in into our daily routine, is what we will find ready for us right after this whole things blows out. I know words are easy to say, but realizing a healthy call to action strategy is what will help us craft a sense of control back into our lives.

At the end of the day, this is something that is new to all of us, and everyone adapts and copes differently. The most important things, in my opinion, is to always try to see the good in the bad and make the most out of a bad situation. Cliché I know... but isn't that what life is about? I would like to think so..!