How Becoming a Teen Father Has Helped My Career

She clenched my fist. She cried. She delivered. A soft cry pierced the hospital room. I gazed speechless at my daughter. I walked over to my girlfriend and hugged her. She did it.

I cut the umbilical cord. I picked her up and held her in my arms. I cried tears of joy.

Nevaeh Estela De La Cruz was born on January 11th, 2017.

I was 19 years old.

1. “You Don’t Have What It Takes”

Having to tell my parents the big news was the most nerve-racking experience I've ever had. I told my dad during the night time in mid-July. We stood outside on the porch. He expressed extreme disappointment in me. He laid all of the problems out perfectly.

           “You’re not responsible. You don’t have a job. You spend every dollar you get. You’re not ready. What makes you think you have what it takes to raise a child?”

           He was right. One of his better characteristics is being honest. At the time, I had a GPA that would make anyone cringe (0.8). I had no money saved. I didn't own a reliable and safe vehicle. The truth hurt.

But, I was convinced that I could do it. I unequivocally believed I could do it.

So, I had to hustle. I learned something about myself at that moment, and this might apply to you too. When your back is against the wall, you can do incredible, seemingly impossible things. Never give up.

So, I had to hustle. I learned something about myself at that moment, and this might apply to you too. When your back is against the wall, you can do incredible, seemingly impossible things. Never give up.

Over the next year, I changed everything. I hit the library. I studied possible career paths. I started my own Association of Latino Professionals for America (ALPFA) chapter at CSU East Bay. I held around 10 professional events at CSU East Bay with representatives from companies like Ernst & Young, Mass Mutual, Comcast, and Enterprise. I began networking at Fortune 500 companies including: EY, PWC, KPMG, Salesforce, and Gilead. I created a resume. I applied everywhere. I held down 4 part-jobs at one time. I bought a car. I started saving and investing. I moved our new, little family into an apartment. I earned the Dean’s List and Honor's List award consecutive times and turned my abysmal GPA around.

2. Significant Life Circumstances Make You Stand Out

When I found out I was going to be a father, I realized that I needed to start networking. I'll never forget hearing that clichéd maxim "It's not about what you know, it's about who you know."

However, I had no idea how to go about it. My first networking event was at the EY offices in San Francisco.

Everyone seemed like they had it together. I didn’t feel confident enough to keep up with the polished students from UC Berkeley and Stanford.

But, my back was against the wall, so I had to do something. So, I slowly started telling people my story.

It worked.

Your story is the one thing you have which is completely unique to you. No one else shares your exact story. They cannot copy it. They cannot plagiarize it. They cannot go to school and earn a degree in it.

See, the problem with the resume process is there are hundreds, if not thousands, of students who have the exact same degree, experience, or credentials you do. Amidst a sea of similar resumes, how can you stand out?

I realized that the best way to stand out is to build a brand. First, you must network consistently. Your presence, if you're courageous, will soon be recognized. Then, you begin telling your story as honestly as you can.

As you master the art of storytelling, people will begin to flock to you. Upon hearing your story, they will draw similarities between their story and your story. They will like you, because your story shows you are just like them. The end result is a sort of magnetic attraction.

This especially is true for those with significant life circumstances. I used to think that I was at a disadvantage because I lacked connections, experience, upper class manners and wealthy parents. However, the opposite has proved to be true. I, and many others like me, have a wealth of life experience which gives you a wisdom - a perspective which cannot be easily learned from a book.

The hard part is shedding the fear associated with emotional vulnerability. To share your story with honesty, you must be vulnerable. We wonder to ourselves, “What will that person think? Will they like me? Will they dislike me? Will they judge me?” They may or may not. I do not know. What I do know though, is that you must take a chance.

If not, you could become lost in a sea of similarity.

I am not advocating that you simply tell stories without demonstrating any technical competency. That won't end well.

You need a healthy mix of both soft and hard skills. Do your research. Gain the technical competency so you can become a reputable and authoritative source of information. Get your degrees, credentials, and licenses. Just never forget where you came from, and where you are determined to go.

I’m also not here to endorse becoming a teenage father. I am of the mindset that it's best to provide your children with the best environment possible. As a teenage parent, it's much more difficult to provide that environment than as an established professional.

I'm just here to encourage those who are teenage parents. To those who have difficult circumstances: do not worry. Yes, it is hard. You are suddenly thrust into responsibility. It's stressful. Whatever you do though, do not crumble. Do not fall. Trust me, not giving up and seeing that look on your child's face makes all the hard work worth it.

Being a young father does not mean your life is over. It’s just begun. 

If this article was valuable to you, great! Let me know how it was in the comment section.