How Becoming A Mother Transformed My Business (For The Better).

On the 13th of October 2023, I welcomed my little baby girl into the world.

I didn’t know what to expect. Nothing can prepare you for becoming a parent for the first time. Suddenly, my world was no longer about me. I had to rethink how I lived and how I ran my businesses.

Here’s how this experience changed me as an entrepreneur.

Work is no longer my (entire) life

For most of my life, work has been my core identity.

Coming from a refugee background, I grew up with the feeling that your net worth is associated with your self-worth or your career is associated with your identity. I never valued having hobbies or values outside of work or making money.

This is not a criticism against my parents. Far from it.

They hustled their whole life to give me every opportunity to succeed. I wouldn’t have been able to go to university or start my business without their care and support.

But naturally, becoming a mother myself has put things in perspective.

With Jesslyn celebrating her second birthday in a few months, I’ve realised how far I’ve shifted my mindset. I'm working not because I love my job or want to just make money or make my parents proud.

I’m working to build generational wealth and teaching values to Jesslyn.

I want her to see that while hard work is important, it’s equally important to have balance, spend time with loved ones, and pursue broader hobbies like art or jewellery making.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still not perfect at this.

But this change in perspective reminds us that our worth is not defined by our careers alone but by the legacy we create and the values we instill in the next generation.

I value my time differently.

My sense of value toward time has changed.

Within four hours of giving birth with an emergency C-section, I actually had Victor bring me my laptop so I could start working. I figured that Jesslyn was sleeping so I could get in a few hours of work.

Jesslyn had unexpectedly come a few months early.

And because she came early, I didn't even have an out of office on or a way to tell any clients. So I felt the compulsion to answer emails and messages. The nurse literally came in and was like, what the f*ck are you doing?

I can’t explain my actions.

But at that moment, my value of being a mother and having a child hadn't really kicked in yet. It just felt like a thing that had happened. I hadn’t processed it. Even though I just got cut up by eight layers.

Even though I had just given birth, I still feel guilty for not working on my business.

While playing with Jesslyn and watching her grow it occurred to me how crazy what I did was. I couldn't put things down to focus on what I needed to focus on, which was my welfare and Jesslyn.

I never want to repeat that again.

This experience really shifted my way of thinking in terms of time and that I am spending way too much time working. I’ve cut down on working after hours, and on weekends. I’ve put systems and policies in place to work effectively and efficiently.

I’ve become a more kind person.

Especially towards myself and others.

Anyone with a young child can tell you that the schedule you set is never the schedule you have. Children have a way of beautifully derailing your agenda. In the past, I would get frustrated with myself if I didn’t stick to my rigid schedule.

But now, I’ve learned to let go.

In the beginning, Victor and I would plan out every minute of our morning.

We would drop Jesslyn off at child care, thinking we could just put her in there, and she'd be okay, and then we would leave to go to our meeting, but she kicked up her heels fast, and we had to be there to settle her for at least 30 minutes.

I’ve realised that I just gotta go with the flow.

While my schedule is never as clear as before, I’ve come to accept it. My value has shifted from “do I really need to make that meeting? Are people gonna die if I was a bit late?” To making sure that I’m fully present for my little girl when she’s having a meltdown.

I’m finding that I’m more patient with myself, Victor, and others.

Women in business face different challenges.

I’m lucky to have a supportive partner and family who take on many caring, cooking, and cleaning responsibilities. But I know not everyone is in the same situation. I’ve become more resilient and adaptable and have picked up a range of skills I never had before.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

• Babies can come early.
• Put a plan in place and take some time to take it off.
• Don’t bring your laptop to the hospital when giving birth (duh!).
• Your mindset towards a situation is more important than the situation itself.

P.S - I’ve been asked repeatedly if I do business coaching. I always said no. But next month, I’m opening two 1:1 coaching spots for my 12-week Female Founders coaching program. If you’re interested, you can express your interest HERE.