How To Become Your Own Therapist

Do Not Give Up Your Authority

“When we have begun to take charge of our lives, to own ourselves, there is no longer any need to ask permission of someone.” — George O’Neil

If we wish to discover the answers to our difficulties, we must look within us and not in someone’s teachings. Thus, we must avoid following other people’s truth, mainly when everyone is searching for answers of their own. An expert can take you so far in your knowledge, while your inner wisdom has access to absolute intelligence. No one is infallible, by virtue of our human existence, we are prone to mistakes and authorities are no different. For instance, you might come across a quotation in a novel or overhear a line in a film that resonates with you. I urge you to explore these further and be curious about the messages underlying it.

At the time of writing this, three incidents related to pursuing my dreams appeared as messages in my life. The first as a quote online, the second as a passage in a book, and the third in a film dialogue later that evening. To another person, these coincidences hold little value, though something within me resonated with the messages. Call it universal intelligence or mere coincidence. However you describe it, ancient elders noted the signs in everyday life and collaborated with them. That is why Truth is revealed through self-exploration. Occasionally, the answers you seek will appear at inopportune moments. Welcome these insights, for they hold significant clues to your life’s journey.

Here’s the thing: information is readily available nowadays and needn’t be found in some ancient texts. The key is to be silent enough to tune in to the inner counsel that communicates to us. An expert will advise you from personal experience and, sometimes, their inner wisdom. No matter how free-thinking they are, others cannot know what life has in store for you. They cannot expect what lies ahead in your journey, so you must trust your own path. Does this idea resonate with you? Are you willing to consult your own inner wisdom to find the answers to your questions? For instance, it was the Buddha who cautioned following other people’s teachings centuries ago when he said: “Do not give up your authority and follow blindly the will of others. This way will lead to only delusion.”

How To Make Informed Choices

“No one and nothing outside of you can give you salvation, or free you from the misery. You have to light your own lamp. You have to know the miniature universe that you yourself are.” — Banani Ray

We must own our mistakes, however painful, for they hold clues to the realisation of the Truth. The biggest adventure you will embark upon is to discover your Truth and live it to the best of your ability. I compare it to tuning a radio station. You might dial one direction and miss the reception, then dial back the other way and land on the correct frequency. Expressed differently, our life’s passage is a fleeting moment of eternity and what appears as the wrong turn is life unfolding as it should. Therefore, be wary of handing over your authority to another person, since they may disappoint you. This is apparent in relationships where one partner delegates their happiness or emotional wellbeing to the other, only to realise later they were deceived.

If you assign your faith to others, you may suffer because they might not live up to your expectations. Our expectations kill many a relationship because we believe we are owed something. People will let you down when their Truth does not agree with yours. To be your own therapist, connect with the spirit of life as it guides itself through you. If you’re constantly besieged by noise or other people, you drown out the voice within. Often, the answers you seek will appear through an inner knowing, intuition, or via messages or symbols. Similarly, let go of worry that preoccupies your mind. It’s no surprise we live in a world overshadowed by news events that seizes our attention. Our brains are alerted to imminent fear because we sympathise with news stories, instead of turning our attention to our inner wisdom.

Equally, trust your intuition to make informed choices, and you will have discovered the keys to life. Trust in yourself no matter the decisions you make, for they will serve your greatest good. This is because key lessons are incorporated in every life event, even undesirable ones. There are no mistakes, only the willingness to align ourselves with our noblest Truth. If you are interested in exploring this topic further, author Nick Trenton wrote a book about this titled: The Art of Self-Therapy , which you might enjoy. It’s a good read, and I was drawn to a particular passage in the book where he writes: “The best way to gain more self-awareness is to build it into your life as a regular, consistent habit. This can be as simple as asking yourself, whenever you remember, “What do I notice about myself right now?” (p. 13).

As a last point, create space for wisdom by clearing clutter from your life like unwanted material possessions, disempowering thoughts, harmful relationships and unfulfilled career opportunities. Simplifying life helps you let go of unwanted complications and concentrate on what is meaningful to you. Therefore, as an exercise to expand your understanding of what you’ve read, start by noticing your emotions and become inquisitive about them. Don’t try to fix them, but enquire why they exist. If you keep a diary or journal, take notes on what you notice and see if you can find patterns in your behaviour. This is the starting point for self-knowing and self-awareness, which will help you expand your understanding of yourself. After all, to rely on someone else for the answers is to deny your own wisdom, contained within your rich supply of inner knowing.