How To Become Uncancellable ??????

Are you scared of being cancelled??

Is that why you might be more of a lurker than a creator…?

And not contributing to knicker-wetting exciting / uncomfortable / angering conversations?

If you’ve chosen to play in my playground…

Or given me the privilege to play in yours, you’re most likely a creator:?

I see you copywriter, business owner, artist’n’fartist ??.

I’ve been ruffling a few fluffy feathers left, right and centre lately.

Including humans I used to put on a pedestal.

Been accused of doing terrible, marginalising things *bling bling bling*.

Been passively aggressively told that I do *gold gold gold* by other BOsSbaBeS.

Most upsetting of all, I had to un-friend a human I cared about *cry cry cry*.?

No, really. My eyes got extremely wet for a while. I am but an empath, after all.

But there’s no way in Hell this Bech is compromising her values for approval.?

Cos the only approval I’ll?ever?need is mine.

So if you’re a scared lurker, my question to you is this:

Aren’t you tired of hiding the real you?

?

Don’t know about you, but I find it so taxing to show up in the world as anyone but myself.?

Every time I censor or change myself to fit in or be liked, I feel like I'm betraying myself.?

And that shit's?tiring.

Gooroos n’ Stoics go on about trying all the things and being true to yourself cos #YOLO + #CourageIsTheWay.

As true as that is, it doesn’t quite land for me in the way it could.

Cos like you, I wanna do?ALL. THE. THINGS.

And even if I had the access and ability to do everything on my Boatiful Bucket List, there’s just not enough time. Rood.?

What I?CAN?do instead, is show up as the person I was born to be.

With the thoughts, feelings, opinions, beliefs, personality and skills I have.

(And?LOVE, there’s?always?room for love).?

But here's the un-yummy truth:?

It’s scary and painful AF at times to be unapologetically you in this world of cancel culture.

(Especially for me, given my lived experiences, socialisation and epigenetics - and I highly doubt my story is much different to many of yours)?

But now that I’ve had a taste of the magic that authenticity can bring…?

Like:

???Deep and meaningful relationships with yummy humans

???Working w/ dream clients who see and value you and your talents

???Delicious self-compassion + love

?… It would literally kill me to be lying on my death bed (in the “Pineapple Suite” at 4 Seasons à la White Lotus, no less) thinking:

?

“FFS! Why didn't I fuck it/them all° and just do me? Silly cow.”?

?

All cos I was scared of others' opinions, disapproval and rejection.

Now, I’m not saying everyone should suddenly unleash their inner (beautiful) beast.

Nor do I approve of truly triggering (like anxiety or PTSD-inducing triggering) someone on purpose…?a wrong assumption that’s been thrown at me recently.

Showing up as yourself requires nerves of steel. Or at the very least, nerves of wood.

See, the sad fact of the matter is, many of us are walking around with unregulated nervous systems… cos #life.?

It’s hard enough to get through a day when your nervous system is as fried as a fried egg… let alone unleash what you've kept under wraps for so long.

So in the coming months (and quite probably years)…

I plan to share a few stories - funny, seriously anxiety-inducing or stupid - of how I began to SAFELY stretch my window of tolerance to the stressor of showing up and being the me that is me.?

Online AND IRL.?

In the hope that it might help one friend, acquaintance or frenemy slowly but unashamedly show off their inner magic.?

(Cos the world needs more magic rn!)

So… to answer the billion dollar question:

How?do?you become uncancellable?

Well, all ya gots to do is one thing^:

Decide that the?ONLY?person who can cancel you is your stupid-azz but sometimes-useful ego.?

Once you realise this and truly feel it in yer beautiful bones?– like Ms Bennett would feel Mr Darcy's bones –??you can get cracking with your creations.

And opinion-giving.

And feelings-sharing.

And story-telling.?

Aaand let's not forget the all love you have to share/receive.

Scary but simples ??.?

In your uncancellable corner,

Caroline F*cket Shine

?

^okay, it's not just as simple as repeating an affirmation to yourself. But it's a start. Let it be a lil seed you plant in your beautiful brain. I'll expand later on how to really FEEL it like Ms Elizabeth Darcy.?

°not literally fuck it/them all cos:

?No. 1: Ewww - no judgement if you like it like that. I’m just a germaphobe. Not to be confused with Germanphobe. I do love me a hot German.?

No. 2: I am a Queen AND a Laydeee! lol