How to Become a Successful Leader and Communicator...by Blending In..?

I recently began reading the biography of a spiritual leader named Henry B. Eyring, who I greatly admire. Realizing that he has nailed the difficult balance between confidence and humility, a talent I would like to develop in both my personal life and my professional one, I figured that reading his backstory might help me discover where the trait came from. I was given at least a partial answer only 53 pages into the book.

In outlining the lessons Eyring learned from (of all things) his time during his undergraduate years as a university groundskeeper and janitor, he mentioned three key lessons he learned about collaborating with others in leadership roles, which he now uses in his high-profile role in ministry:

• Know your duty thoroughly
• Do more than you’re asked
• Do it in a way that doesn’t stand out

The first is pretty clear-cut. My assumption (feel free to let me know if it is not a safe one, as it is not a research-based conclusion) is that most would agree that knowing your job/purpose/duty is a prerequisite to becoming an effective employee (and human being…). I also think I can confidently say that the second lesson is a major contrast between an effective, contributing employee and a good leader. No groundbreaking executive arrived where they are by doing the exact same things as everyone else; a leader is usually someone who has simply done more than the people who now work for him or her have.

You can become immensely successful by perfecting those first two bullet points. Know what you’re doing, and do it more than the other guys. Pretty straightforward recipe, and, though far from comprehensive, a decent outline for success.

The third lesson – you become a successful leader and communicator by doing your best not to attract attention – is a more interesting (and potentially controversial) one. The most sought-after, well-known executives seem (to me, at least) to be the ones who have been the focal point of their respective businesses for years; those who have had a massive, direct impact on the organization, whose stamp is indelibly and unmistakably on everything the company does. They make that impact through purposeful decision-making, focus, confidence, intelligence, and passion; but also through their constant efforts to be a step above the competition and compel the critics to recognize their talents and effectiveness. Going out of your way to ensure that your accomplishments are acknowledged and rewarded seems like the right strategy, for one who is interested in advancing in the professional world. How on earth are you supposed to become successful without trying to stand out?!

I offer no comprehensive answer to that question, and would love to hear the thoughts of others on this. But one idea comes from Sean Kelly’s podcast, the Awesome Office show (which I mentioned in the post I published in January, as well). He mentioned in an episode I listened to today that the best leaders are the ones who have enabled the people around them to handle themselves. They are those who have done their work effectively enough that their organization could continue to run seamlessly without them there. Their employees or coworkers have been taught the vision of the group, and empowered to carry it out. Thus, extraordinary things can happen without the leader having to be directly involved at all in the actual output, even though he or she built the foundation for those successes.

This is just one interpretation of Eyring's concept of doing things without standing out. I would love to hear the thoughts of others on this; whether it works or not, and how best to go about finding the balance between confidence and humility that will allow us to be successful while not just hunting for recognition. For me, Sean Kelly's thought process is an easily applicable idea; I can quickly think of several ways that I could turn my focus more towards achieving success by strengthening my coworkers and helping them reach their potential, rather than just always trying to look impressive for my managers.

Therefore, I am shooting for a new goal, and a paradigm-shift – rather than striving hard to be the standout, I will search for subtle ways to make everyone around me better.

Any other thoughts on the balance between confidence and humility, and the impact you can have when you stand out versus when you blend in?