How to Become More Confident Through the Confidence of Others.
Will Aylward
Doing well is great but being well is everything│ Award Winning Coach with 10+ years experience helping people ?? wide Create their Breakthrough│ Speaker, Author, & Writer │
''At 70 years old, if I could give my younger self one piece of advice, it would be to use the words ''f*ck off'' much more frequently''. - Helen Mirren.
The above quote popped up on my Facebook newsfeed sometime last year sometime and I screamed in my head... ''YES, Helen''.
I may not be in my 70s.
Or a woman. But her words resonated.
Perhaps it's because I'm British. Maybe it's because I don't like conflict.
For whatever reason, like Helen Mirren, I've bitten my tongue too often to please others.
When my self-confidence was low, I was too polite for my own good.
I didn't set boundaries so people walked over me.
Although I longed to feel more confident in my self, I was kind of intimidated by those around me who seemed to have self-confidence.
Time and experience have taught me the Confidence of others needn't be a hindrance to us connecting with our own feelings of self-confidence.
In fact, through modeling our Confidence role models, we can become confident in an authentic (and fun) fashion.
If you're not familiar with modeling, here's a simple definition:
Modeling is a form of learning where individuals ascertain how to act or perform by observing another individual.
As infants, we learn how to walk and talk through modeling those around us.
It's Monkey see, monkey do!
How ever old you are now, you too can use modeling to become more Confident.
Two Simple Steps to Modeling Confidence.
1. Identify a person you know who has the kind of Confidence you would like for yourself.
This could be a family member, colleague, a celebrity whose work you follow.
It's important you choose someone who has the kind of Confidence that resonates with you.
Find your Helen Mirren, (or choose her by all means, she's awesome).
2. When you're in a situation that requires you to behave with confidence, ask yourself, what would _____ do?
This requires a level of awareness.
So start the day by reminding yourself to practice modeling your chosen Confidence role model.
Allow new and challenging situations to become triggers for you to ask, what would Helen Mirren/Beyoncé/Grandma do in this situation?
My clients really see great results through modeling their Confidence role models.
Why?
Modeling has them thinking differently and therefore, behaving differently.
Because they behave differently, they get different results.
If you practice a new behaviour enough times it becomes a habit and a part of who you are!
Thank you for reading,
Will
Life Coach and Rapid Transformational Therapy Practioner helping you to transform your thinking and transform your life.
Learn more at www.willaylward.com
P.S
Let me know who your Confidence role model is by leaving me a comment.