How to become a little less stuck

For whatever reason, feeling stuck is a running theme for me at the moment. It's not so much that I feel stuck right now; I'm currently in the flow with a couple of client projects that are keeping me busy and engaged, but over the last few years, I've had my fair share of that unnerving, familiar feeling: you know the one, you're glued to the same spot, you're at the ceiling, and all you keep asking yourself is will these goal posts ever stop moving? And I'm not the only one who feels this way.?

Whether with my friends, mentees, or peers, I've had several discussions over the last month in which people tell me they feel stuck, particularly at work and within their careers, and more so than ever. In some cases, it's more significant than work-related dissatisfaction. It's a sense of being stuck somewhere between early and middle adulthood, like an eternal teenager, a vampire who just wants to grow old, fighting a crippling lack of direction, wondering about true purpose. I get that. Trying to find a purpose, to become unstuck, was one of the main reasons I left the safety of a very comfortable role in a world-class company last year. At some point during my time there, I'd lost the ability to connect myself to my work and understand how I was helping others, and that soon materialised as feeling stuck. Unfortunately, as we know, where I chose to go wasn't the right move, and I went from feeling stuck to feeling wholly superglued. Still, we live, and we learn! And on the point of learning - that's often a go-to piece of advice I give folks struggling with the superglue effect. What else can you learn in this scenario, and is that enough for you right now? More on that in a bit.?

Back to why we may be feeling this way. It may be a sign of the times; the pace of change in an organisational setting can't necessarily keep up with the expectation of modern careers, fear, personal dissatisfaction, apathy with the many world challenges we're privy to, and a general sense of overwhelm. Whatever the reason, feeling stuck is a thing.?

With many people worried about market uncertainty and whether their job is safe, the idea that their career is in their control is suddenly minimized and, in some cases, taken away. When you feel like you don't have that sense of power, any tangible options at work, or a belief that you could always find another role somewhere else, a sense of 'swimming in cement' is a natural response. And then the more you feel stuck, the more you feel like there's no escape, and the more your plans and goals seem unattainable. You can see how quickly a vicious cycle forms that can harm your broader well-being and how you show up to your role. At least, this is how I've experienced it historically.?So how do you get out of it?

For me, it was always about figuring out what I could control, where I could make a change, and then going from there.

Sometimes this mindset worked out for me, but on a smaller scale, for example: finding new projects to get my teeth into, putting forward a solution to a business challenge, or even something simple like figuring out a new way to organise myself, finding some time I could take back for me during my working day, or for a member of my team. No matter how small the control was, it gave me a sense of agency, and even in all the uncertainty and the undeniable fact that I had no say in my career destiny at that point, I still felt some form of empowerment.?

These little tactics would help me survive day-by-day, month-by-month, but they weren't designed for long-term success. I can't claim to know how to get out of a long-term feeling of stuckness at work, but I've been thinking about it lately and decided to share my formula for moving forward. I've often found that even if this doesn't solve the bigger problem, it empowers me to create options for myself, and that's half the battle. So here we go, how to become less stuck:?

Step 1: Question Time

It always starts with questions (and answers) that are most important to you. For me, it was always these three:

1. Am I still learning??
2. Why does this work matter?
3. Am I having fun??

Mind you, you can have more questions, but any more than ten, let's say, will send you into overwhelm mode. A couple of other questions I have interchanged with the above:?

• Do I feel challenged (in the right way) by my tasks and responsibilities?
• Have I grown and developed professionally in this role?
• Does my manager value me and advocate for my progression?
• What was it about this role (or company) that made me take it??

There are many questions you can ask, so it's about picking the ones that feel most important to you at this moment.?

Step 2: Reflective Honesty?

It can be tough to answer some of these questions truthfully. Not because you're worried about people seeing the answers, but once you write something down or say it out loud, it's suddenly very real and, in my experience, harder to avoid. Anyway, time to answer the questions. I often work through these with a peer mentor, or a trusted friend. Sometimes it's helpful.?

Step 3: The Outcome

If we go back to my three questions, I apply a simple rule when I look back at the answers. Broadly, if you're unbalanced, you need to pay attention.??

• 0 no / three yes - good stuff!?
• One no / two yes - nothing too concerning - laser focus on what you can control, the smaller tactics, and see how you feel next quarter.?
• Two no / one yes - hmm, pay attention to these feelings, what's at the root of it? Why have you started to feel this way? What would fix it? Worth a chat with your manager??
• Three no / 0 yes - errr, ok not good. If you're still feeling this way next quarter, you might want to think about options.

The important thing here is not to see three no's and go 'Oh that's it, I'm out, I'm rage-quitting today!" - unless, of course, there is something so inherently wrong in your gut, and you trust it, I'd wait it out and remember that you've been here before, you know that some quarters are worse than others, some are rewarding, etc...plus, giving yourself a bit of time can help you feel like you're forming a plan versus on the hook to escape.

Anyway, I hope this is helpful, at least for a reminder that feeling stuck at work can be quite a common occurrence, and you're not alone. More often, it can disappear as quickly as it can creep up on you.

Well, that's it for this week's episode. Until next time friends!

Lizzy