How To Become The Leader In Your Niche

Build an unbeatable personal brand for your coaching business.

There are 2 areas that I recommend building when you want to become the leader in your niche.

These two 2 areas are your internal and external assets.

Assets are all things that can help you multiply your impact and success versus all the things that are a liability that will hold you back from making any impact or having any growth with your coaching business.

I want to address liabilities first to help you recognize what you might need to change or eliminate so your assets can then shine.

There is a difference between an internal liability and an external liability.

Internal liabilities are your negative thoughts and beliefs about yourself, other people, money, business, success, wealth, and so on.

Basically, what you believe about yourself and the world, specifically your perception of all those things in a negative light.

Sometimes it is legitimately negative and sometimes it is your trauma response that gets in the way and clouds your judgment.

I remember when I turned 7 I lost all my confidence when my family and I moved from Kazakhstan to Germany. Just about everything felt weird, strange, and overwhelming. The grip of the cultural shock was fierce and too strong for me to break out of.

When kids and teachers started to bully me, call me all sorts of names, and one boy even tried to beat me up every 30-minute break at school I started to develop the belief that there must be something fundamentally wrong with me.

I must be the worst human being if people were treating me like that.

I hated everything about myself, from my internal world, my thoughts, and my emotions, to my appearance and my body.

I wanted to hide and disappear in black and grey clothes that would not fit me well.

Every time I would dress up a bit I would be called “anorexic” and kids would constantly ask me “do you have bulimia?” because I was very slim by nature.

Kids would make fun of my accent which I tried to get rid of so hard. I avoided speaking as much as possible, I never raised my hand in class, and tried sitting in the back so nobody would notice me.

I wanted to be invisible and soon I learned how to achieve that.

I developed many many internal liabilities during my entire childhood and teenage years that would weigh like a mountain in my conscious mind but I didn′t know what to do about them.

Another part of internal liabilities is negative feelings about yourself and the world.

Sometimes something really is negative and thus you feel negative emotions such as pain and sometimes it is again your trauma response that tries to protect you in an unnecessary way.

External liabilities are all things that you have externalized because of your negative internal perception and world.

Those external liabilities could be your perception or the actual state of your appearance, your body, weight, face, hair, body language, personal style, and voice.

If you appear shy and not confident with your shoulders hanging down and head bowed down; you are too scared to look people in their faces (if you are in the western world); if you are wearing random clothes that don′t fit, colors are all off, your voice sounds quiet and without expression, or you struggle with your weight then all those things will be your liability.

You will hold yourself back from building an unbeatable personal brand.

A personal brand is dependent on both your internal and external assets and how you manage your liabilities.

You don′t have to be perfect though to build a strong personal brand. This article is supposed to help you to become aware of your assets and liabilities in the most compassionate way so you can start working toward a stronger personal brand that focuses on your assets and works toward the transformation of your liabilities into more assets.

Internal Assets

Let′s talk about your internal assets in more detail.

An internal asset is anything that makes you amazing, your character, personality traits, identity, positive thoughts and emotions, goals, vision, and the mission that you define for yourself in this life.

To recognize your internal assets it is important to do inner work, to practice some form of meditation that helps you see who you truly are, where you wanna go, and who you want to serve with relentless passion.

When I first landed in Germany with my family I lost my sense, my identity, roots, dignity, innocence, hope, vision, and confidence. I had to unpack, heal, and rebuild what has been destroyed to find my vision again.

In my early teens, when I decided that solitude and self-reflection are the only things that are going to help me, I managed to recognize my purpose.

I realized what I am good at and how I can help others in this world.

I also realized that I could not let myself slip into depression because my ancestors were fighting so hard to keep themselves alive so I could stand before you today.

On August 28th, 1941 after the German NS Regime attacked Russia the Soviet Union decided to deport Russian Germans who were living for hundreds of years in Russia to Siberia, Kazakhstan, and the Ural mountains for Internation in labor camps. They declared them enemies of the state.

350.000 were deported to Siberia and 150.000 died.

My grandparents were a young couple at that time, and they just got married. My grandma was pregnant.

They were brutally forced to enter a train that was crowded with other Germans from other villages that would take them on a journey of days.

And as the temperatures got colder and colder they knew they were taken to Siberia.

Upon their arrival, women and men were separated to work in different areas of a mine.

They were working from morning till night. It was up to -50° C and they had no warm clothes.

There was barely any food, once a day if they were lucky.

My grandma tried to get my grandpa to give him her food so he would survive.

As food got more scarce the first ones to die were old people and children.

My uncle was one of them who died in the arms of his mother.

These labor camps existed till 1946.

Every time my grandpa tries to tell me more of their story my grandma starts crying and begs him to stop. He then lovingly replies “Ok, Elli, I will stop.”

It is no coincidence that my dad named me after his mom, Ella.

My name is my mission. I am here because my grandparents didn′t give up.

I am here because they worked together as a couple and helped as many people as possible to survive as well.

If my grandma was living through me again I want to make sure that my mind, body, and heart are a sacred temple for her, a place that is safe, filled with joy that she didn′t have, filled with good food that she didn′t have, filled with love that she gave everybody else but herself.

You are here because your ancestors made it possible for you to be here.

You are not only doing this for yourself but you are doing this for them too.

Make it count.

Your personal brand is your history, identity, and future.

And It is less about what you know about yourself or your expertise but how you communicate it with conviction, commitment, and confidence.

People don′t buy what you sell but why you sell it.

They want to feel that you are an extended part of their family that they can trust.

Not content is king but trust is queen!

Conviction

You are wasting your time convincing your dream client that she should buy from you.

Instead, you need to convince yourself to always be of value.

You need to convince yourself that what you are doing is right.

You need to convince yourself that you will never give up.

You need to convince yourself that your future is bright.

You need to convince yourself that you will always find a solution.

You need to convince yourself that you are good enough.

You need to convince yourself that you will get it right.

Commitment

You are wasting your time asking your dream client for commitment.

Instead, you need to commit to yourself like no one has before.

You need to commit to your existence, identity, and both your assets and your liabilities.

You need to commit to your vision, mission, and goals.

You need to commit to your never-ending struggle.

You need to commit to your growth.

Confidence

You are wasting your time looking for the confidence in your dream client to trust and choose you.

Instead, you need to trust and choose yourself first.

You need to be confident that you will grow each day.

You need to be confident that you will stand up when it is hard.

You need to be confident that you will handle every mistake.

You need to be confident that you have what it takes.

You need to be confident that the right one will trust you.

You need to be confident that the right one will choose you.

Before you ask anything from your dream client you need to make sure that you represent a person that others can trust and choose without it backfiring at them.

You need to make sure that you are a human being that can take care of herself and thus will be able to take care of others.

You need to show your dream client that they are at the right place and that they are safe — truly safe to be themselves, to open up, to share their darkest universe with you, to trust that you will handle their objections with empathy and guide them like a true leader, to know that you will protect their integrity like you would protect your own child.

External Assets

When I speak about external assets I don′t mean what you can show off, like your credentials and degrees, but how you show up with clarity, creativity, and consistency.

Even if you think you have too many external liabilities you can win.

You can turn those liabilities into assets.

I remember thinking that I had nothing to give to this world in 6th grade. I thought I had no worth because people bullied me so hard.

My no. 1 liability was my accent. Which is why I tried not to speak at all. This made me a better writer which my German teacher noticed when we had to write a short story.

One day she came to me and told me about a writing competition that I should take part in. She had so much hope on her face. I had no one look at me like that. I realized that she believed in me.

I battled with myself telling her that I can′t take part in that competition.

It took me a few days of thinking before I told her that I will try it. The reason I wanted to try it was the topic of the competition which was named: “share your dream”.

A rather innocent title but nobody ever asked me what my dream was. So I was intrigued to dream and let my mind flow into worlds I never dared to go.

The day came when I was invited to the hall where the winners would be announced. I was nervous. I went alone. I saw so many parents, so many people. It scared me so much sitting in this huge crowd.

Then a lady started to announce the winners.

“Third place” and she dropped the name that was not mine. “Second place” and she dropped a name that was not mine. At this point, I knew I didn′t win. So I relaxed into the chair and took a deep breath of relief. And as I was breathing out the lady said “first place” and dropped my name. I didn′t realize that it was my name. The lady had to wake me up from my delusion and she asked me to come on stage. This is when I was terrified to move. Her friendly smiling face gave me hope that I was safe and nothing bad would happen to me.

She continued to say how amazing my story was and that the jury was unanimous in their voting.

Then she asked me to read my story to the audience.

I thought I will die. I was terrified again to my bones, shaking. I didn′t want them all to hear me speak, to hear my accent, to know that I am not one of them, to find out who I really was, and to hate me like the Russians hated my grandparents and deported them to Siberia.

It took a while till I was able to calm my mind because there was pressure on me and I learned to obey adults very well.

I started reading, stuttering word by word. Then I noticed how it got quiet. As I looked into their faces it seemed that they were curious and eager to hear the next words that would come out of my mouth. They didn′t seem to mind my accent.

That′s when I looked back at my story and started to read like I was living my story.

My last sentence was echoed by the marble sand-colored walls.

“My dream is that no child should ever lose their home”.

I looked into the audience. People were standing. Mothers were crying. The applause took my breath away and for the first time in my life, I felt that I was worth something. That I had something to give.

You deal with your external self and might think that there are so many things not right and that you have to get all those things right before you can become that leader.

But you don′t become a leader by being right or perfect.

You become a leader by leading yourself through the darkest of times to find the light and stand tall in front of everybody and not feel too ashamed or scared to tell your story.

You become a leader by leading your mind, heart, and body into alignment.

You become a leader by leading your fears, doubts, and overwhelm into the chamber of transformation so at the end you swim in joy, fulfillment, and wealth.

You become a leader by growing the muscle of integrity, empathy, and authority that can lead others into the light without judgment, expectations, or manipulation.

I am here to help you find a way.

Join the?Brand Master Club?HERE.

To your success,

*eR ??

ELLA RAY | Personal Brand Consultant and Voice Trainer for female coaches.?www.ellaray.com.

Listen to The Personal Brand Era Podcast?HERE.