How to Become an Influencer
If you missed last week's airing of my conversation with Tommy Spaulding, you can catch up with the recap and video below. But first, some podcast business: mark your calendars for an exciting summer and fall line up to come!
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? Want to change people’s lives? Avoid this common refrain.
What if you were to stand on a field in a stadium of 80,000 attendees who represented all the people you interacted with in your lifetime? Bestselling author Tommy Spaulding likes to ask this question when he talks about influencing people.
Then he follows with “Is it going to be filled with people cheering your name, thanking you for the influence you had in their lives, or will they be booing you because you’ve been a jerk your whole life? What’s your legacy?”
These ideas are the premise of Tommy’s latest book, The Gift of Influence . Tommy’s been a student of leadership influence his entire career. Today he’s an incredible storyteller on stage and an influencer in the lives of his students and executives who participate in his world-class programming all over the world. I’ve had the pleasure of knowing Tommy for quite some time now, and he joined me for an Off the Rak podcast episode so we could catch up about influence and talk briefly about his next book project.
Here are a couple of interview highlights:
Tommy, how do you break down influence into everyday actions or behaviors?
“Well, first you have to hijack the word influence,” said Tommy. He agrees that the definition of the word has blurred a bit, thanks to social media and our fascination with “online influencers” who talk about product promotions and everyday occurrences in great detail. If we can get back to viewing influence as a term for conveying how many lives we’re truly changing, that’s a great start.
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An “influence audit” is what Tommy likes to do every morning. He meditates on who in his life might need influence and love. “And then I run toward the pain,” he said. “We’re all great at sending birthday cards or letters to our customers, employees, family members, and friends about all the weddings, graduations, and good stuff. But what we fail to do—not because we’re bad people—is run toward the pain.”
Tommy bemoans the common refrain we find ourselves saying when someone is grieving or in pain: “Let me know if you need anything …” He said, “I just think those words are the biggest cop-out … How many times does someone call you to say, ‘Remember when you said if I needed anything to let you know?’ Never. True influencers run toward the pain and do something about it.”?
Tommy, what have you found to be helpful when you’re coaching other leaders before they set out to influence others?
“You can’t be a heart-led leader or influencer if you don’t love yourself.” Leaders who don’t love themselves try to find external validation wherever they can. They’re starved for attention and recognition, which doesn’t leave much room for thinking about their teams or those around them. You have to start by loving yourself—flaws and all. Accept yourself with humility. Only then can you make space for putting others first and influencing with time, attention, and resources.
Join me for the rest of my conversation with speaker, bestselling author, and influencer Tommy Spaulding. We talked about his newest book project that he’s calling a game changer for readers that explores how to tap in to your superpower. He also highlighted a moving story of influence about a teacher, Mrs. Lin, who left a lasting impression on so many students that her 80,000-seat stadium would no doubt be cheering her name if she was on the field. What will your stadium be shouting?
? Watch the full episode
? About Off the Rak
Walt Rakowich's passion to help shape a generation of leaders who lead with honesty, humility and heart inspired him to launch Off the Rak: Conversations on Transformative Leadership. Featuring rich and raw conversations with notable leaders across different industries, Off the Rak inspires curious leaders to embrace challenges, seize opportunities and become positive influences in their world.
Learn more about Off the Rak and watch past episodes here .