How to become a half-decent copywriter in 30 easy steps...

Becoming a half-decent copywriter (or content writer) isn’t as difficult, or as painful, as you might think.

To start with, all you need is a fistful of writing talent, enviable intelligence, and good old common sense.

Then, you merely have to throw in a bucketload of blood, sweat, and tears. And a healthy dollop of humour, too.

After that, you simply have to find the switch, between your ears, responsible for all those dazzling lightbulb moments. Whether this switch is a straight off/on, or a dimmer, is up to you.

Then you need to be able to tickle the old qwerty ivories. Whether your ability is of the ‘hunt and peck’, or the ‘touch type’ variety, it matters not a jot.

And that’s just for starters.

Those are the necessary bits you need tucked up your sleeve, or stuffed up your jumper, before you even get anywhere near the easy bits.

Those are the things without which you might as well go work at B&Q.

Now...these are easy bits. The 30 easy steps.

Buy a good pen.

Buy a good laptop. Preferably a Mac of some description.

Buy an excellent dictionary.

Invest in a chair with good lumbar support.

Buy a distinctive coffee mug.

Don’t let anyone else use it.

Buy an impressively strong brand of coffee, preferably Java.

Make the coffee and let the aroma fill your nostrils. Breathe deeply.

Go to your supportive chair and park your arse.

Tune out the rest of the world.

Read the brief (presuming there is one) thoroughly. Twice.

Call the appropriate account handler. Be nice.

Ask more questions than you need answers to.

Write/type until your fingers bleed. (Blisters are acceptable).

Re-write/re-type until they bleed some more.

Once the headline’s right, take a break.

Search for biscuits, preferably chocolate ones.

Make more coffee.

Move onto the body copy (if required).

Repeat steps 14 and 15.

Spend extra time on the first sentence and the last sentence.

Never regard your call to action as an afterthought.

Always read your copy out loud. (Whispering is acceptable).

Never be completely satisfied with the end result.

Never say these three words: “That will do”.

Write/type as many, or as few, words as are necessary.

Never presume that everyone will love your words.

Always make your art director your first (and best) sounding board.

Write how you feel, not just how you think.

Never write on a full bladder or an empty stomach.

They’re the steps, or rather some of them, you need to take if you want to become a half-decent copywriter. Or at least start to.

Easy, right?

But who the Hell wants to settle for half-decent?

What about the folk who are fully-decent? Those who are a damned sight better than decent? Those who are bloody talented bastards? Those with brains the size of a planet.

And anyone reaching, or even approaching, the legendary status of writers like Abbott, Brignull, Trott or Henry?

They’re the kind of people who inspired so many to get into advertising in the first place.

Me included.

They’re the kind of people whose minds could turn thoughts into ideas, ideas into words, words into pictures, and pictures into memories that last a bloody lifetime.

They’re the kind of people who could wipe the floor with the rest of us lesser mortals.

Without breaking sweat.

Without breaking wind.

Without thinking twice.

Even in their sleep…

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The above is an extract of my book Ad Lib. It's about advertising and life and everything in between.

All my books are available separately and unblocked from those nice people at Amazon…right here

Ad Interruptus (NEW): https://amzn.to/3AmkfjQ

Ad Infinitum: https://amzn.to/3pof7Uq

Ad Lib: https://amzn.to/2kd4LKf.

Ad Hoc: https://amzn.to/2Nx8GL8

Love & Coffee: https://amzn.to/28IWaHq

Heaven Help Us: https://amzn.to/2nkQ1Jk

Or…you can pop along to brycemain.co.uk and have a sneaky peek at them all together in the one place.

See you there…