How to become a better speaker & communicator and achieve more success in Your professional and personal life

Your ability to effectively communicate determines much of your professional success, quality of friends & romantic relationships, as well as overall fulfillment and meaning in life. Millions of people fall short of leveraging their abilities and contributing positively to society because of ineffective communication. The good news: We all can improve our communication skills.

This article offers you practical, honest guidance. The author has educated, spoken to and trained hundreds of thousands of people in Europe, Asia, North & South America, and Africa.

Start right: Accept and apply the right principles!

There are thousands of books that promise to quickly turn you into a great speaker. Often, they offer a few techniques that “magically empower” you. Do not believe it! While many techniques and methods can offer additional help, they will not turn you into a great speaker without the necessary effort and growth process.

The key to effective communication is to understand the fundamental principles, practice those and improve over time. Techniques and methods then can be helpful add-ons, after you get the core issues right!

Most great speakers are not born, but developed over time!

Many great speakers started with speech impairments, fear of people, panic attacks, and utter failures. They committed to become great speakers, studied the key principles, and worked hard on improving. Good news: Many of those mentioned great speakers started in a worse situation than you. You can equally become a very good speaker by applying the following ideas!

A speaking problem is often a thinking & preparation problem!

Most people struggle to give presentations or express their opinions clearly. The problem is not a lack of speaking abilities per se, but rather their challenge to organize their thoughts. Many people do not put the necessary effort to prepare a speech: They do not understand enough their target audience. They do not analyze their audience interests & needs, backgrounds, and previous experiences. They do not know the desired outcome of their speech/ presentation. They do not research enough about the topic. They do not define enough the key points and neglect to lay out a logical sequence. They do not prepare for expected audience questions in advance. They do not practice...

They fail because they have not put in the necessary basic effort to clearly prepare their thoughts, content, what they want to say and how to convey it. Many people fail due to a lack of basic preparation. They speak before deliberately thinking...

ACID test: Can you explain your topic and outline clearly to a friend? Do you cover all key points? Do you offer different perspectives (pros and cons)? Can you make each sentence count? How does your presentation sound as a test recording?

To become a good speaker, you must care about people!

Your audience wants to know/ feel that you care about them. They are first interested in how much you value/ respect them before they are willing to listen to you. They are interested in how much you care before they care how much you know!

Yes, there are many books out that offer ideas on how to manipulate people and gain their confidence. But if you do not care about people, your audience will notice. At least on a subconscious level most people will sense that something is not right. It leaves a bad after taste and will limit the impact & outcome of your speech.

Why do you want to manipulate? Would it be not much better if you genuinely cared about people and then naturally conveyed your message with their best interest in mind?!

To become a great speaker, you must become a great person!

Some of the great speakers do not display the best set of techniques. They focus on the fundamentals. They live what they talk about. They are genuine and that is what has an impact on the audience! Some of the greatest messages delivered come straight from the heart, with natural conviction. The focus is not on techniques and methods, but on people. It is about living the message. It is about who you are as a person. It is about the dedication, effort, and sacrifice that you have paid to deliver your message. It is about embodying great values and character qualities. It is about being an inspiring role model in a complex workplace and challenging world.

There is no short-cut for developing your personality daily. It is a lifetime pursuit to become a better person, and thus a better speaker. Then you can stand up in front of an audience and give a powerful message without having any notes prepared. Because your personality will be the message! And you can deliver great speeches on the spot.

To become a great speaker, you need a servant’s heart!

Some known speakers behave like rock stars. They may be (very) successful for a season. But eventually the truth comes out. If a speaker does not have the best interest in mind for their audience. If a speaker does not genuinely care. The content will be less than optimal. The presentation will lack conviction. The outcome will fall short of the possible.

On the good side, when you truly care about people, it will help you focus on what matters most (right content) and deliver it in the best way (understandability, logical sequence, right visual aids, memorable examples) and lasting/ maximum outcome (conclusions, call for actions, and practical guidance).

The beautiful side effect: You will not experience fear on stage (which is a sign of too much self-focus). When you fully care about your audience and serving them, you will not focus on yourself (example: your fears of failure), but rather on how to best serve the people!

The ultimate goal for the speaker is not to look great, but to make a notable, lasting difference for the audience (valuable learnings, professional/ personal improvement, result-focused actions). It is all about the benefit to the audience that counts!

A good communicator in conversations is a good listener!

Most people do not listen to what other people say. They only assume they know. So, instead, they focus on what they want to say while the other person is talking. Neither party listens enough, which results in numerous misunderstandings, unnecessary conflicts, and deterioration of relationships.

Only 7 percent of a person’s meaning is communicated through the content of words. 38 percent of a person’s meaning is contained in the way of speaking, intonation, pauses, stresses, etc. The remaining 55 percent of the person’s meaning is conveyed through posture, body language and meaning. Sadly, most people ignore/ miss most parts of another person’s meaning because they only listen to the words.

To become a better communicator, you need to become a better person!

A good conversationalist requires genuine interest in the other person. The problem is: Many people are selfish. They mostly care about themselves and use other people only to achieve their purposes. To better communicate, we need to become better people. We need to develop an attitude that genuinely values and appreciates the other person – not only for what the other person can do for us, but to value them as precious people. We need to consider other people as equally important as ourselves. We need to display patience. Open ourselves to new viewpoints. Be flexible to adapt our thinking. Willingness to change our convictions when the other person is right.

No conversation technique will work unless we care about the people we engage with. Only then practical aids can help us on our journey to become better communicators.

In summary

Being a good communicator and speaker requires an attitude of genuinely appreciating and valuing the conversation partner or audience. Start with the key principles. Become a better person to become a better communicator and speaker. Then focus on methods & techniques. Live and work to genuinely add value to other people.

Legal Disclaimer:

This article presents the sole opinion of the author. It does not claim to represent the views or values of any current/ former client, employer, or other entity.?

About the author

Alex Steinberg is a business & technology expert who has advised government organizations and 40+ multi-national companies around the world. Alex has directed, advised, or supported projects across all key business functions, engaging with customers, analyzing business needs, developing end-to-end solutions, and supporting implementation efforts. At night, Alex turned his client engagement learnings into workshops, seminars, videos, and how-to-guidance publications. Alex is a recognized industry expert in healthcare & life science, Real Estate & Infrastructure, Automotive, Telecom & Manufacturing.

Many of Alex Steinberg’s projects have won industry awards, received CEO mentioning or other client praise.

In his free time Alex serves on international humanitarian projects helping a wide range of people groups around the world.

Connect with the Author:

Alex Steinberg has designed/ delivered training curriculums, workshops and seminars covering a wide range of key business & technology topics for government organizations and multi-national companies. Alex has served as key note/ main speaker at conferences and events.

You may connect with Alex Steinberg by LinkedIn or send him a personal email to [email protected]