How to Beat Frustration When Your A-Game is Not Enough

With the 100th Winter Olympics reminding us of excellence, everyone strives to achieve and maintain his or her A-Game, yet many believe that reaching and sustaining their A-Game is elusive.

What is Your A-Game?

The A-Game refers to performing to the very best of one's ability. Playing in this zone brings pleasure, satisfaction and a feeling of accomplishment. Rarely will one succeed in sustaining their A-Game if they are always angry, frustrated or bored.

We see this in the Olympics. Although there is pressure, those who win have joy and pleasure while performing in their competition. When the sport becomes burdensome, their accomplishments are meaningless.

Meet Leslie

Leslie called me and I could hear the panic in her voice. Once again, she felt like everyone was leaving her behind at her firm. She was talking so fast that I could barely understand what she was saying, but I did make out these words, “I feel like I am wearing a t-shirt that says ‘LOSER!’”

Meet Dean

Many years ago when I lived in California, I had a client named Dean. Dean was a physician who practiced in internal medicine. He had a successful practice but after eighteen years of marriage, he had what I would call “a mid-life crisis.” He struggled with inertia to get dressed and drive to his office. He felt like a robot that was just going through the motions.

His wife and four children tensed up when he arrived home late at night after making hospital calls. He poured a big drink as soon as he walked through the door, barely speaking to anyone. As his wife placed his dinner in the microwave, he plopped down in his chair at the dining room table. Dean then ate his dinner in silence.

After this had been the norm for some time, he woke up one day and his wife had filed for divorce. His medical practice was at risk. Not knowing where to turn, Dean broke down. He barricaded himself upstairs in his Pacific Palisades townhome, threatening to take his own life. Because I knew him and his family well, I went in to talk Dean off the ledge, so to speak.

How Your A-Game Becomes a Burden

The big question is: what causes these individuals, who outwardly seem to have made it to the top, to let their A-Game slip through their fingers? Their A-Game becomes a burden and what began as a career full of hope, spirals into hopelessness.

My job is to help these individuals to regain a sense of self, to help them to rediscover the passion that was lost years ago. What these people need is a transformation. I help them navigate through the mental morass. Our mind can lock any of us in a psychological conversation about ourselves. Anyone who always negatively assesses his or her lives and careers becomes self-destructive.

7 Steps of the 8-Hour Intensive

I always recommend that my clients begin with an 8-Hour Intensive. Here are seven steps that occur in an 8-hour intensive, which is usually spread out over a 4 – 6 week period.

1. Write down 3 things that you are tolerating that are bothering you in your life.
2. Dissect those 3 things to find the similarities and blind spots in each.
3. Completely remove others from the equation. Only consider what you are doing or how you are allowing the situation to perpetuate.
4. Draw the floor plan of the first house you lived in before the age of 7.
5. You will discover in your first house the same 3 problems (from the original 3 tolerations).
6. As you walk through your first house, you will learn how you developed your coping mechanisms. You will see how repetitive behaviors learned at a young age are problematic. This is what I call your “Basic Operating Principle (BOP)”. As you observe your self-sabotaging and self-defeating patterns (your BOP) you will gain freedom.
7. After you identify your BOP, we will develop an action plan to achieve goals. We will redefine what is important and help you to regain enthusiasm and learn how to enjoy your work again.

Is this easy? Not by any means, but it unlocks the rut in your mind. The BOP is a blind spot and finding it allows you to take your power back. You will gain control.

What Are People Saying About This Process?

“I had no idea that this was going on in my mind. I had lost my enthusiasm, and now I have found it.” Lisa J., Seattle

“I learned why it was so difficult for me to go out there and get new business and to consistently get new clients. Now I look forward to waking up each day to face new challenges.” Louis M., Boston

“I learned why I get so angry whenever I perceive that someone has insulted me. I found out that I am, on some level, always seeking insults. My anger drains my productivity and my ability to practice law.” William I., San Francisco

Leslie Gains Proper Focus

Leslie began to understand that comparison caused her to feel like a loser. This behavior would sabotage her success. She had to learn how to focus on her own A-Game instead of comparing herself to others.  “My competitive spirit and comparing myself to others caused me to be unhappy and unproductive."

Dean Lets Go of His Crutches

Dean had to learn how to reestablish a life without using alcohol as a crutch. He had to learn how to date his (almost ex) wife and to communicate with her again. He had to make spending time with his children a priority. Because so much damage was done over the years, it took him awhile and he had to be persistent. His persistence paid off with family vacations and weekly, fun family activities.

You Are Worth the Investment

No one is hopeless. Make the time to identify your self-defeating and self-sabotaging behaviors. Doing so is a great beginning for you to regain your happiness and freedom.

You can get beyond the A-Game and you can find peace, joy and enthusiasm again. Like the Olympic athletes participating in the 100th Winter Olympics seeking a gold-medal, you too can become a Peak Performer, ultimately helping you immeasurably in both your law practice and your family life. You will want to email me or call for your sample experience of the 8-Hour Intensive. You will gain extreme value in regaining and maintaining your A-Game.

Olympic Links: www.foxnews.com/.../shaun-white-wins-us-its-100th-winter-olympics-gold-medal.htmlhttps://www.nytimes.com/2018/02/11/sports/olympics/team-figure-skating.html

Pamela DeNeuve, Lawyer & Law Firm Peak Performance Strategist

?I Help Focused & Successful Lawyers+Solicitors

?Achieve Peak Performance

?Soar to the Next Level

?Create Their Legacy

Call to schedule your strategy session (404) 419-6411

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