How to banish the working parent guilt....

Is this even possible you might be thinking? Well I know it’s tough juggling a busy job and family life. It can feel overwhelming and exhausting, but it doesn’t always have to be this way.

First, we must stop the mum or dad guilt! Being a working parent is hard, but it should be admired and you certainly should not be judged for it.

I remember the nursery drop off days, leaving my youngest daughter crying at the door and then getting back in the car, feeling awful about going to work. I think the hardest thing is when they start school, trying to keep up with all the emails, school trips, the Easter bonnet parades, summer fetes, cake bakes, recitals. The lists go on. I must admit there have been times when I have forgotten something because I have been too busy with work.

The truth is there is no point keep beating yourself up about it. It is not worth your energy and you only end up getting wrapped up in negative emotions. The key is to focus on a plan that works for you and your family and not worry about what others are doing.

It is hard and I get it, but you need to stop putting your own needs last. It is a balancing act but if you are not taking care of yourself, how can you expect to take care of anyone else?

Being a parent takes patience and most importantly resilience. It’s about having that ability to bounce back from whatever chaos comes your way, so that you can move forward with a sense of calm and happiness. Here are some points to think about:

·        Prioritise your self-care

Yes, I know I talk about this a lot in my posts, but it really is important. Personal resilience begins with developing a sense of self-worth. If you are not getting enough rest, eating a balanced diet, getting some exercise or just “me time” then it will be much harder to meet everyone else’s needs.

 ·        Flexibility

One of my biggest learnings as a parent is that not everything is in our control. Being a resilient parent means we must roll with the punches. If things do not go to plan just move on and try not to dwell on it.

·        A positive outlook

We all experience good days, bad days, and everything in between. Learn how to manage those negative thoughts. Reframe your thinking and turn it into a positive. Resilient parents work through challenges and find ways to cope and learn. Having a positive outlook can make such a difference.

·        Create quality family time

Make sure you do have some meaningful family time set aside each week and try and avoid the mobile. It could be making sure you eat meals together, playing some games, snuggled up with a good book, or watching a movie. Families tend to be so busy nowadays with all the various activities so its important to get some down time together.

·        A growth mindset

I don’t know about you but as a working parent it’s easy to get stuck into the same old routine. We get up each morning, get the kids ready for school or home-schooling as it is nowadays, do our work, sort food, kids bedtime etc and eventually you might have time to collapse on the sofa later in the evening. The biggest switch for me has been learning, as I had almost forgotten what investing in my own personal development meant for a period of time. As you get established in your career it becomes less about your own learning and more about supporting others.

If you have a hobby or a new skill you want to learn then what are you waiting for? Go for it! We will always have the usual excuses about being too busy, but the truth is making time for those things you are passionate about is just as important.

·        The Comparison Trap

I talked about this in an earlier post but it’s worth mentioning again. I think it’s too easy for us to compare ourselves to others nowadays as people’s lives are too available on social media. Just remember that no one is perfect. We should focus our time on being the best version of ourselves rather than competing with others. You will get so much more time back that you could spend doing something you love.

Always know that you are doing the best you can. Keep positive, be kind to yourselves and reclaim that sense of calm! I will leave you with this quote:

“When the big things feel out of control … focus on what you love right under your nose” (Charlie Mackesy).

Feel free to share this with anyone that may benefit from a read. If you want to find out more about how I can help you or your business then drop me a direct message or send me an email at [email protected].

I've recently set up on other social media platforms to help women that want to prioritise self care and build resilient mindsets. If you're interested in getting some tips and support you can find me here:

www.facebook.com/sarahgilescoaching

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