How to banish diet culture and empower kids against body-image pressures

Awareness?

Being aware of diet culture is the first powerful step in countering it. Once you start seeing it,? you’ll realize the overwhelming barrage of images and messages from media, loved ones, friends, and professionals, surrounding us with diet culture–messages that, at the core, tell us that our body size and shape are a key measure of our value as a human being.??

Here are some common beliefs perpetuated by diet culture and what they mean:?

• I should have a body size and shape of XYZ (insert the “should body” that you hold for yourself); This belief imposes an idea, often unrealistic, body standard that you feel you should attain.?
• I should eat / not eat ABC (insert the “should food” list/and the “should not” food list ). This belief creates a dichotomy of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ foods leading to restrictive eating habits that can be detrimental to your health.?
• Fat is bad and fat people are unhappy and less valuable. This belief stigmatizes weight and equates thinness with happiness and value, leading to harmful stereotypes and biases.?
• Thin is required and we can only be happy when we’re thin (and/or muscular). This belief promotes the false idea that happiness and self-worth are conditional on appearance, perpetuating body dissatisfaction and potentially leading to unhealthy behaviors.?

Name it when we feel the pull.?

It will feel something like a drop of anxiousness, shame, or disgust: Something is wrong with my body, my kid’s body, my food, my kid’s food –I need to “fix it.”?

Strive to actively accept and find contentment in the present moment.

Consider if it’s at least possible that how things are now – “belly fat” and all—are exactly how they should be for you to be here and for your child to grow with health, in their own way, according to their body’s clock.? Consider that the “should” and “your (or your child’s) body is wrong” voices may not be the truth.? These messages are diet culture talking.? After all, you’ve been bombarded with these messages for a lifetime. ?You don’t have to listen.? And you don’t have to act or further them with kids.? ???

Reflect on what truly matters for you and your child.

Are impossible body ideals or stress-inducing food beliefs what you most care about?? Or are these some of the things that diet culture teaches us that are fundamental to being accepted, loved, successful, etc.?? What if the truth is right now you can have contentment, peace, love, and success regardless of your body size or shape? (I ask you to read that last sentence again, and really pause and consider it—because this is so very true, but anathema to everything we’ve been taught.) What if you drop the rope in this proverbial game of tug of war that is only exhausting… and cannot be won because it is based on a false premise? And isn’t it true that this is all you’ve ever wanted in the first place? To feel content, peaceful, loved, and at peace with food????? If that’s true for you, focus on teaching your child these things –to feel content (by practicing gratitude for what our body does for us), peaceful, loved, and at peace with food.? Live from THIS place, and trust that our body’s size and shape will follow from that place of wellbeing.

Let’s try an example:?

You’re at the beach.? You notice your daughter has new belly fat that isn’t like what you see in swimsuit ads. You make a quick comparison with your daughter’s friends and don’t see the same belly fat.?

You feel a tug of not-good feelings inside, like an embarrassment – for your daughter and for yourself.? You quickly confirm in your head that worry you have that she has been eating too much ice cream. You vow to stop buying ice cream and set limits on all sugar foods…for yourself and your daughter. That will “fix” the stomach fat.? Yes, that’s it…

This is diet culture. You are feeling its pull.

Pause.? Name it.?

Recognize your daughter’s body is changing, including added belly fat, because this is a natural part of your daughter’s growth. Recognize the bodies we see in media aren’t indicative of health, but often idealized images used for selling products.? It may be hard to accept that she doesn’t resemble the kids in the swimsuit ad, or even harder to accept that she has belly fat that the other kids don’t have (right now) but take a moment to appreciate her uniqueness and the amazing journey she’s on. Is she happy???

Does she have friendships??

Is she physically active with good energy that she’s able to expend in positive ways?

Does she have a strong appetite?? CELEBRATE these signs of growth and vitality.??

She is ALIVE AND GROWING, and her body is signaling for her to develop fat as she grows.? Fat is energy storage as she approaches puberty and more growth.? Fat is not bad. (Repeat this five times to yourself.)? How much more magnificent could our children’s bodies (and our own) be??

This is you accepting that all is just as it needs to be, magnificent belly fat and all, right now.?

This is you letting yourself feel contentment – knowing you are doing your job by doing nothing to try to change or “fix” your child’s body.?

This is you letting your child live in her perfectly growing body with contentment and peace with her body.?

Hug your daughter and tell her how proud you are of her for how she’s navigating life.

This is you banishing diet culture.

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