How to Balance Work With a Big Family

When I tell people that I’m a mom of four and a CEO, I get a lot of shocked looks. I get it. After all, the media is full of articles about whether women can “have it all,” the sorry state of paid parental leave in the U.S. and reports of gender inequality in the workplace and at home.

In that context, trying to juggle a large family and a multimillion dollar company sounds exhausting at best, and unsustainable at worst. 

But a big family felt right for us. I’m the youngest of five, after all. I knew that having so many people living under one roof was going to mean a lot of noise and chaos, but I couldn’t imagine life any other way. (Related: How Parenting Teens Has Made Me a Better Leader)

What wasmore of a shock to me was that I decided to start my own company while my kids were young. I vividly remember dropping off an early shipment of hintwater to our first-ever retail partner—a Whole Foods in San Francisco—mere hours before going into labor with my fourth child. I was thrown into being a CEO and a mom of multiple kids simultaneously. And there’s a lot I’ve learned about how to balance the two. 

1. Embrace change and uncertainty -- even though all you want is stability.

It’s counterintuitive, but hear me out: When your kids are young is actually the best time to start a new endeavor. Why? Change is already upending your life—why not shake up your career, too? Kari Clark, a former Google executive, founded a coaching business calledUplift Parentsto help working women take advantage of this unique period. “Studies show that a significant life change provides an excellent opportunity for adopting new habits since your entire life is already in flux,” Clark has said.

For me, I am doubly lucky because my husband is my co-founder and COO. He took paternity leave to help raise our kids, so were both in that transition phase together. Our time out of the office made me recognize that I wanted to do something more mission-driven with my career; it also helped my husband realize that he didn’t want to go back to the grind of being a corporate lawyer. 

2. Accept that you’ll have to make lots of sacrifices. 

Even when your company is successful, you still have to sacrifice in order to have a healthy work and home life. My husband and I loved living in San Francisco. But as our family grew, we moved out of the city for more space. It wasn’t a decision we made lightly—it affected all of us. And as a CEO, it also meant that my commute ballooned to an hour. I’m the kind of person who constantly says “yes” to things, but when you have kids at home and a longish commute, you have to keep yourself in check and set firm boundaries. But for us, the trade-off was worth it. 

3. Incorporate family into your career carefully and mindfully.

There are a lot of reasons that executives who are parents—especially moms—make their families part of their corporate brand. For me, talking about my experiences as a mother helps my employees understand that I want hint to have a family-friendly culture. (Related: 3 Strategies to Build a Strong, Yet Positive Company Culture) Plus, being a mom is part of hint’s origin story. Initially, I conceived of it as a kids’ product because I was horrified at all the sugar-loaded options for allegedly “healthy” children’s juices. 

But now, the youngest of my kids is in his mid-teens. All four of them are individuals with their own right to privacy. I don’t exploit them for the sake of the company or make being a “mompreneur” a big part of my personal brand. I find that, unfortunately, some leaders inadvertently pigeonhole themselves as mothers to the extent that the “CEO” part of their life gets overshadowed. It’s important to strike a balance. And it’s essential that when you’re in a business setting that people take you seriously as a founder first. 

4. Relate to your employees as individuals.

One of the most amazing things about being a parent to four kids is that I get to see how different each one truly is, even though they have the same parents and upbringing. Some of my kids are more entrepreneurial than others, and each one has a different amount of interest in my work. This challenges me in a good way. I’m forced to relate to each of my children as individuals, which means that I can’t just use the same canned answer about why I need to be traveling or miss one of their sports games.

I take these learnings into the office. Being a parent has taught me that you can’t always be everything to everyone, and that you have to be prepared to engage with employees on a human-to-human level. In that way, running a company is a lot like leading a family: You’re surrounded by people who look up to you, and it’s up to you to provide the best, most honest example for each and every one of them.

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Let’s Connect! Find me on Twitter(@KaraGoldin), and DM me your burning business questions and/or comments. 

Kara Goldin is the founder and CEO of San Francisco–based hint?, a healthy lifestyle brand that produces the leading unsweetened flavored water and a scented sunscreen spray that’s oxybenzone and paraben-free. Listen to her podcast, Unstoppable, where she interviews founders, entrepreneurs, and disruptors across various industries and keep up with her on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.