How back-breaking is it to say 'No'?

You get an email about a social gathering that's supposed to happen over a weekend. Everyone in your office seems excited but you. All of your colleagues are making plans for the evening - the dress they'll wear, what time will they meet, what all activities will they be doing etc. On the other hand you are quietly sitting in a corner scripting plots on how you're going to say 'NO'. You're deep into your thoughts when you realize your friend is approaching you with an intention of asking you for the party. Each footstep is making your heart skip a beat. Here's how the 2 versions of a conversation go.

Planned conversation -

A- Hey, how are you?

B- Hey, I'm good.

A- We're all going for the party. You're joining us, right?

B- No, I don't think I'll be able to.

A- Alright!

B- *Phew* That went well.

Actual conversation -

A- Hey, how are you?

B- Hey, I'm good.

A- We'll pick you up at 5. Okay?

B- (Crap, that's not what I had planned for) Ummm, actually....(gets interrupted)

A- What happened? 5 is okay, right?.

B- I don't think I'll be able to join you guys. Some issues at my end.

A- No excuses. You're coming.

B- (Wishes to be more firm and strict and finally utters) Okay, 5 it is. (What!?)

Imagine the impact a 2 letter word can have on you. People with such issues will be comfortable walking over hot coals than uttering this one little syllable. I call it a k(no)w-phobia. Wherein you clearly #know that you have to say #no but you just can't. It often happens, the planned scenarios does not fall into place. You anticipate something and do the exact opposite of it. Above all, you go back and forth thinking should I say yes or should I say #no . You are not ready for the actions or words that might come your way. Even if you're ready some force diverts your thought process and you end up agreeing to it. You might be comfortable saying 'no' to you parents but when it comes to your friends or colleagues the word No sends chill down your spine (& vice versa).

What makes it difficult for a person to say 'no'? What's the harm in being firm and strict with what you feel? The other person won't eat you, be it anyone, I mean anyone (zombies excluded). That said, I also have messed up situations like these. Have gone all the way from thinking of saying 'no' to uttering something else, instead. Why does this even happen?

• Peer pressure?
• Nervousness choke you up?
• The other person has an influence on your life and career?
• You respect the other person's feelings or maybe you're afraid of them?
• You think you will miss out on an opportunity?

Some of these can be dealt with ease but some might prove to be baleful. You really need to give it a thought. After all, it's your life and you are your first priority. Out of all the scenarios, there's one thing I've learned-?giving vague reasons is a sheer waste of time. So, speak your heart out. Tell the truth. Practice the art of saying #no . You will fail at first but eventually, you'll learn the tips and tricks of putting your thoughts forward in a more firm way with a lot more confidence.

Muster up your courage and simply say NO. You'll soon notice the clouds of misery fading away.