How Avoiding Boundaries Drains Your Life

?? A Simple Favor Turned Into a Problem

She had tenants renting the top floor of her house. One day, out of nowhere, they started using her garden to dry their clothes. It caught her off guard, but she thought quietly, “No biggy. They probably didn’t think it through.”

?? The Day They Took Over the Garden

Weeks passed. One Saturday, she came home after running errands, and there they were—sunbathing in her garden like it was theirs.

She didn’t know what to say. So, she tried to joke, hoping they would get the hint: “I’d love to use my garden too and work on my tan!”

They laughed it off and went, “Well, the more, the merrier!”

?? The BBQ That Crossed the Line

She smiled back, but inside, it didn’t feel so funny. She thought about saying something more serious, but she talked herself out of it. “It’s just how they are,” she told herself.

But then came the day when she came home to find a full-on BBQ party in her garden. I mean, 20 people were there—eating, drinking, using her BBQ grill, her chairs, her spices from her kitchen!

?? Spinning Thoughts and Sleepless Nights

At that point, it wasn’t just about the garden. It was about everything she’d been holding back.

She felt angry, hurt, and honestly, a little embarrassed. She hadn’t just lost control of her space—she’d lost control of her peace. That night, she couldn’t sleep. Her chest felt tight, her thoughts spinning: “Why didn’t I say something earlier? How did it even get this far?”

?? Why You Keep Avoiding “No”

Here’s the thing: saying "no" can feel so much harder than it sounds.

You worry about upsetting people. You don’t want to come off as rude or difficult. Maybe you even tell yourself it’s not worth the fuss. But is that true?

For so many of us, boundaries feel like a risk. It’s that nagging thought in the back of your head:

• “What if they think I’m mean?”
• “What if I ruin the relationship?”
• “What if they stop liking me?”

?? Boundaries Are How You Teach People to Treat You

Boundaries aren’t about being mean.

They’re not about pushing people away—they’re about showing them where the line is so you can have a healthy, mutual relationship instead of a toxic one.

Avoiding boundaries doesn’t make problems go away. It just builds up in your head—overthinking, replaying conversations, wondering, “What if I’d said something?”

?? Avoiding Conflict Comes at a Cost

When she avoided setting boundaries with her tenants, she thought she was making life easier.

But what she was really doing was making it harder.

She spent so much time in her head—wondering what they’d think, worrying about what to say, stressing about what might happen next.

It wasn’t just about the garden anymore. It was about her peace of mind.

?? Self-Reflection: Say It Out Loud

Offer yourself a second. Take a deep breath. Grab your phone and record yourself reading this question out loud.

I see you tempted and going, “I’ll get back to this later.” But we both know you won’t. Make Now your new Later. Trust me, the shift starts with hearing your own voice asking this.

Say it out loud:

1. What Are You Saying “No” To?
2. “When I say ‘yes’ to things I don’t want, I’m really saying ‘no’ to…”
3. What Would Change If You Were Enough? “If I believed I was enough just as I am, I would…”
4. Whose Approval Am I Seeking? “The person I’m most afraid of disappointing when I set a boundary is… and holding back for them makes me feel…”

Share with me in the thread or privately what you discovered about yourself. Allow this read to transform you.

?? Stop Making How You’re Treated Negotiable

Listen, I know it’s not easy. Boundaries feel uncomfortable, sometimes even scary. But they’re necessary—not just for your relationships, but for your well-being.

Think about it: when is now a good time to stand up for yourself? Create space where you no longer invite toxicity and build more genuine connections.

Understand that what you resist persists. Avoiding conflict doesn’t keep you safe; it keeps you stuck. If change is to be, it’s up to you.

Enough is enough. Give yourself permission to experience life differently—on your terms, not on life support.

Stop making how you want to be treated something negotiable.

Send me a private message, and let’s talk about how we can make this happen for you. You don’t have to do this alone. I’m here to support you with a system that works.

Change is a decision away, and readiness isn’t a feeling—it’s that decision you make.

So, the ball is in your court. Remind yourself that you are in power: “If change is to be, it’s up to me.”

With love and care,

Maty x

Your Burnout Recovery Coach

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