How To Avoid A Soul Crushing Job

We have all been there and hope to never return – working in a job that makes us miserable and slowly crushes our soul. This is one of the number one areas that I coach clients around. It may be a tough culture, difficult coworkers or an impossible boss that impacts our quality of life at work and leaves us feelings as if we can’t get out fast enough.

One key area that people miss in the interview process is to make sure that you know what you are looking for and that YOU interview prospective employers to make sure that they can meet your expectations. This sounds easier than it actually is. Companies and hiring managers aren’t ready to let you peek behind the curtain of their culture and it would be somewhat unprofessional to disparage the organization in an interview so it will take some skill to get a good understanding of what working for a company is really like.

If you plan your interview carefully you may not get direct answers but you will get clues throughout the hiring process that can tell you whether this is somewhere you'll be happy working or not.

Here are seven ways to help figure it out.

Create an ideal job list. Everyone has a different set of values, priorities and wishes for an employer so it is important to decide what is important to you. I suggest to clients that you create a list including everything – a “Kitchen Sink” list that outlines all facets of a job from location, work space, coworkers, type of company, boss, title, salary, work-life balance, etc. Whatever is important to you. Obviously not everything will be on your list and some will have a higher priority than others but by including everything you get a sense of what you like and what you don’t. Included in this list should be what you would like to learn professionally and what you hope to get out of your next job. From there you can create some thoughtful interview questions that get to the heart of what you are looking for. Some may be deal breakers while others are wishes but regardless you get perspective on what you gaining and what you are giving up on.

Ask the right questions. Once you have your list, being to compile the right questions. Simply asking broad based questions about culture, working conditions, work life balance, etc. won’t give you a true picture. Remember organizations are well versed in giving the “politically correct” response to questions like these. Make sure you are asking questions that get to the root of what you are looking for. For instance, instead of asking an interviewer to define the culture ask probing questions such as:

• "What time do most employees arrive and leave each day?"
• "If you could change one thing about the culture here, what would it be?"
• "What do you wish you knew before starting work here?"
• “How are employees recognized and rewarded”
• “Why is the position open”

 Be suspicious of interviewers who tell you only positive things. Every company has some issue they struggle with and if they feel they should hide this from you, that is a big problem.

Be transparent about your needs. Some years ago, it used to be considered taboo to let employers know that you had a family or obligations outside of work but now, I believe, it is imperative to be transparent about it. I coach clients all the time to be upfront and open right out of the gate. If you need to leave at 5:00 for daycare reasons, state that. If you like to leave early on Fridays in May to attend your child’s baseball game, bring it up and ask how the organization would feel about that. My philosophy is that if they don’t hire you because of that, then they did you a favor. This doesn’t mean that you disclose every minute aspect of your personal life, but if there are important aspects of your life that you need to balance with work, talk about it before you are hired opposed to accepting a job and feeling resentful when they can’t accommodate your needs and/or wants.

Understand the company’s limitations and yours. Too often in a hiring process, candidates ignore important cues about an organization's culture or they think it will be fine and they can handle it. Once they get there, they find they can’t handle it or underestimated the impact it would have on their life. Be honest with yourself about what you are hearing in the interview process, and really think through if this is manageable for you. There are times when you can make a difference and impact culture but don’t go into a situation with those expectations. Some organizational behaviors are deeply ingrained and/or driven from the leaders. If a company tells you something that doesn’t sit well, believe this to be truth and understand how this may impact your life.

Check references. There is a lot of information on hiring websites that provide information from employees on culture, pay, benefits, etc. You can get some good information on what it is like to work for the company on these sites. I like to look at LinkedIn to find if someone I am connected to has worked for, worked with or can put me in touch with someone who can provide information to me. I call this my reference check on a company. If you have concerns, now is the time to explore them further and these are ways you can do it.

Pay attention to how you feel. If you have read my book Step Into Your Power: and Transform Your Life you know I am big on following your (IGS) Internal Guidance System. We have gut feelings for a reason and if your gut is telling you to beware, pay attention to that. That is your cue to dive deeper into that uneasy feeling and get more information. You may find that it was nothing but if you ignore it, you may end up making a big mistake that you will regret for a long time. 

You will have to make some sacrifices. There is no perfect job out there so come to terms with that sooner rather than later and you will save yourself a lot of misery. Even the best company with a great culture will have something that drives you crazy. Be creative, find "work arounds" and embrace opportunities to grow and learn. Every situation, every person and every job comes with issues. What we are all searching for is that experience where the good cancels out the bad and inspires us to be our best self.

Susan Ways is the President & Founder of Inspired Success Coaching. As an influential leadership coach, public speaker and behavioral change agent her methods are transformational.

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