How to Avoid Self-Inflicted Stress – The Ancient Wisdom of Effortless Action

Most stress is self-inflicted. In other words, we don’t need to experience it if we don’t want to. But we still choose to.

Why?

Strange as it may seem, stress is a potent stimulant. Much like sugar and coffee, it helps us to get those hormones running.

Nutritionists point out that our bodies often “need” stress as compensation. The reason we don’t reduce our level of stress even when it’s possible is that we use it as compensation for nutritional deficiencies.

To put it simply, when a person is chronically stressed, their body will gradually lose those vital macro- and micronutrients that are key to energy production. As a result, the body will get more and more exhausted and will need to whip itself into action through food, caffeine, or… stress.

Whether internal or external, stress can wake us up and gets us going.

How does childhood stress influence a person in adulthood?

It is a well-established fact that people who have experienced chronic stress in childhood will instinctively choose things, people, and situations where they can re-live the same stress level they are used to.

They find partners who stress them out. They find jobs where they bear the brunt of the workload for pennies. They find friends who “need” them. They find people they can rescue.

They sacrifice themselves on every altar and feel bored when life goes well. Life should be turbulent to be interesting. They need drama to feel good about themselves.

They can’t explain why they are always late or stuck in traffic. Nor can they explain why 90% of their thoughts are anxious – as if the mind continually weaves scary pictures out of thin air.

How does stress affect the body’s nutrients?

When our bodies go through daily stress for a long time, the concentration of essential nutrients and minerals drops. Magnesium, zinc, calcium, iron, niacin, and other B vitamins get flushed out of our systems through urine every time we experience stress.

According to the National Library of Medicine, “the bulk of evidence suggests stress can affect micronutrient concentrations, often leading to micronutrient depletion.”

When the body is deficient in essential nutrients, its energy level decreases, and fatigue settles in. Over time, we develop cravings for foods and activities that can get us going despite fatigue – coffee, exercise, energy drinks, sugar, excitement, and stress.

When we put extra stress on the body, it boosts our adrenal hormones – adrenaline and cortisol. Cortisol, in turn, raises our blood sugar, which then temporarily increases our energy. We feel we can keep going.

What is nourishment vs. stimulation?

There is a world of difference between nourishment and stimulation. Stimulation feels like whipping a tired horse that won’t go. We are completely worn out, but we still whip ourselves into action with sugar, caffeine, alcohol, and stress.

Stimulation is when you force yourself to go on despite fatigue… risking utter exhaustion. The difference between forcing yourself into action and doing things from a surplus of energy is subtle but vital.

Nourishment is when we give the body what it needs so it can start accumulating energy like a battery. We don’t force ourselves. We don’t inflict stress on ourselves. When you have a surplus of energy, there’s no need to drive yourself. Everything comes naturally.

Nourishment is about providing yourself with enough rest, sleep, nutrition, and self-care so your energy increases naturally. When you nourish your body and mind properly, stimulating foods and activities are no longer appealing.

There is no need to whip myself into anything. When I’ve had enough rest, work comes easy. It flows. I don’t watch the clock. I am lost in what I am doing.

Why should you not force things?

Chuang Tzu, an ancient Daoist sage, told a parable about a cook:

Cook Ting was cutting up an ox for Lord Wen-hui. As every touch of his hand, every heave of his shoulder, every move of his feet, every thrust of his knee – zip! zoop! He slithered the knife along with a zing, and all was in perfect rhythm, as though he were performing the dance of the Mulberry Grove or keeping time to the Ching-shou music.

Wen-hui marveled at his fine skill and asked how he was doing it. The cook replied:

“What I care about is the Way, which goes beyond skill…When I first began cutting up oxen, all I could see was the ox itself… And now – now I go at it by spirit and don’t look with my eyes…I guide the knife through the big openings and follow things as they are.”

Coming to a complicated place, the cook would intentionally slow down, moving his knife with great subtlety, until – flop! the whole thing came apart like a clod of earth.

He learned not to force anything but “follow things as they are.” When I force myself, I know I don’t care about the Way.

Every time I push myself into action, I create self-inflicted stress. When I drive myself with food, sugar, excitement, or stress, I am making my life miserable. I need to let go, slow down, sleep more, eat better, and then – flop! the whole thing comes into gear and starts working.

Eight rules for nourishing your body and mind

Try these eight rules for nourishing the body and mind:

1. When tired, don’t push yourself to keep going. Take some rest.
2. Don’t resume work until you feel enough energy.
3. Before falling asleep, consciously allow yourself to sleep in.
4. Feed your mind with good books, videos, and podcasts – keep your spirits up.
5. Don’t use exercise to wake up or get energized. Exercise only when you feel refreshed.
6. Eat slowly, chewing your food well and savoring every bite.
7. Never eat on the go.
8. When you find yourself rushing, consciously slow down – give up what you think you “need so bad.”

When your body is well-nourished, it will thank you by giving you the energy to enjoy life. You can smile, love, and create.

“I have never seen a depressed person who wasn’t also low on energy. When you have enough energy, you simply can’t be depressed.” Dr. James Wilson

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