How to Avoid the Job-Hunting Blues

One thing I've heard from over a dozen people who have shared CVs or written to me since last week for some job-seeking advice is that they sometimes feel ignored or "dissed" when applying for jobs. Here are a few thoughts.

First, this isn't personal, it's business. So, don't feel bad about yourself or the company to which you're applying if you don't get the job, or don't hear back from the company. Yes, you think the job fits you perfectly, but you don't really know if there's an internal candidate, if the hiring manager has a completely different thought process, or whatever.

Secondly, I put out my twice-yearly notes offering to help precisely because I know that feeling of being ignored, but it just doesn't matter. When you most need help, when you're searching for your first gig or your next gig - as I experienced in my early 20's - and no editor or boss even acknowledges your application, it seems as if nobody gives a toss.

That's not true. It IS true that there are a lot of arrogant jerks in the world who feel absolutely no need to be nice to anyone. And yes, some of them do rise up through the ranks, maybe even because of that. But, you have friends, family - and maybe even a dog - who love you and want to help you. And would you really want to work for a person or company who is rude to you? Ignoring you may make you feel bad, but it doesn't imply rudeness. I do believe companies, busy as they might be, should issue each applicant a formal rejection, but they don't.

Professionally, by and large, irrespective of personality, most hiring managers are normal people who are just busy with their jobs, and they and HR tend to get overwhelmed by the influx of CVs. If you don't hear back, and if it's a job you really want, research the company a bit more, figure out whom you know there, speak to them, look for an "in" or connection, rejig your CV and/or cover letter and reapply. If you don't hear back a second time, figure that the company doesn't see you as the right person or right fit and move on.

If you really like a job or a company, though, don't give up. If your mission is getting a job at, say, Google, treat it as a medium-term process. Be strategic and methodical, but not creepy. I always hated dropping a cold cover letter and CV via some job site when I was looking to exit my previous world of journalism, knowing from 25 years of connecting with people that face-to-face contact, personal exchanges and other encounters that make you memorable get better results. At the same time that I went through the motions online, I always also figured out who the hiring manager was, researched him or her and found (sometimes paying for it through online services) his or her email address and sent a personal (but professional) note and CV copy to that person. I always felt it was important to demonstrate my passion, my aggressiveness and ingenuity in finding out how to reach them directly and state my case.

And yet, that also doesn't always work. You still may not hear back from the person or company. Accept that they don't want or need you at that time, but since they likely don't really know you, they can't possibly hate or have any bad feelings about you. Give up on that job, but try to close things out by making it a learning opportunity. Try to get some feedback from them. Writing didn't work, so try to call the head of HR, who will likely be bewildered by your call, not know who the hell you are and - especially if it's a US-based company - will be afraid you're some evil stalker or are looking to sue them. Reassure them, ask them to look at your stuff and see if they can give you ANY feedback or understanding about what you lack and what's needed for the job you were seeking, or - more generally - what it takes to work at that place.

Draw strength from being ignored or rejected. Remember that you only need one job, and there are hundreds of jobs out there that might be a fit for you. If you don't hear back or get any feedback, despite trying, that trying is a skill, in and of itself, which shows you are a go-getter who only takes "no" for an answer after having exhausted your best efforts via various channels.

Treat every application like a diamond or other precious gemstone. If you blitz the market with dozens of applications, more likely than not, the HR person or hiring manager will smell your inauthenticity and feel the generic tone of the application and cover letter. Research every company to which you're applying. Take the time to figure out for whom you'd be working, look at the work product from his/her unit and shape your approach in a way that's consistent with what you figure the company is doing, achieving or looking to do. Key off of the wording in the job ad to show how your skills would translate to success for the unit, or why you belong there.

Be self-reflective and honest when you look in the mirror. Did you REALLY want that job? Did your passion and skills come across in the cover letter? Do you REALLY stand out, or are you just puffing yourself up and reaching for a job that's a level or two above what you realistically should be doing? Most of us want to rise up, but companies tend to want someone whom they know can do - and maybe already HAS done - the job they're looking to fill and want someone who has the demonstrated skills. Again, ask yourself whether you want to be at a company that values pragmatism over aspiration, whether you might consider, and advocate for, a lesser role in which you could work your way up the job or job level you want to be at. I'm not suggesting you settle, but be honest about what you offer 100% on day one at a company, rather than what you think you might be capable of. Companies have order and structure and culture. If you're going out on your own to start up a company, you can set the order and structure, create the culture and hire only aspirational people. But until you do, you're playing by the rules of others.

When I'd receive a rejection, or a no-reply, I'd start by looking at what I had said or done wrong in a process that didn't end up with a job offer. Don't play a blame game by pointing a finger at a company. The HR person, hiring manager and company aren't going to care, so neither should you. All you can fix is yourself, so - even without any feedback from the company - look at how you can make yourself and your application better and sharper.

On that note, a couple of parting things to think about why you were ignored or rejected and how to do things better and sharper the next time:

• Did your letter repeat your CV too much? I'll write something later on cover letters, but I view a CV as a sort of telegraphic narrative - professional breadcrumbs you drop - about your career development, aimed at getting the reader interested in you enough to read your cover letter. Your cover letter should be colorful and demonstrate your passion and personality, skills and corporate fit enough to get invited for an interview.
• Did you focus on telling the HR person or boss what YOU want and who YOU are, instead of focusing on what THEY need and how you can help them right away, based on your past experience?
• Did you show what you have achieved, rather than simply what you did? There's a huge gap between a "doer" and "achiever," and you never want to be seen as just a box-ticker and seat-filler, or you will get overlooked or ignored.

Don't get desperate and flail around during the process. Hiring managers and HR can smell desperation, scattershot applications and insincerity. Don't get grouchy or nasty with others. Stay civil, positive, optimistic and try to establish a great network, if you don't already have one. Not every person can or will give you a job. Don't ask every person to give you a job at their company. Look for actual job listings, educate yourself about what the job requires, see whom you know at that company or in that field, learn more about the area and responsibilities and see if you really and truly match up - and if you don't, how you can get to the point where you do. You'll be amazed at how a positive, optimistic outlook is noticed by others and how it changes your own outlook during what can be a very disheartening and lonely process. Don't ever lose hope or your aspiration to find a job you will love.

Chemistry matters. You have to spend most of your waking hours in that job, so you want one that really feels right to both you and the company.

One P.S. to everyone: When you do land that perfect job, forget all the jerks or non-believers who didn't extend a hand to help you. But remember all those who did. Thank them. Most will tell you they did nothing. Those are the good guys. And become a good guy, yourself. Pay it forward. Always accept requests for help, always be helpful. It costs nothing to be nice and share your thoughts and experience if it can help others. That's how professional courtesy works, not by hoarding your power, influence or expertise. And it's also just the right thing to do and the right way to be.