How to avoid degrading your coach-leadership presence

Leaders spend around 50% of their time in group meetings and even more hours in one-to-one meetings with direct reports, peers, customers and their bosses. It’s a struggle to carve out time to do your actual work let alone time for strategic thinking and planning.

So, we try to fire off some emails in between meetings in an attempt to be “productive”. We hope that using our small pockets of time this way stops us falling behind on our actual work or curbs the incessant rising email inbox count.?

But, by the end of the day, we feel exhausted, hassled and even defeated.

(Oh, you don’t have these small pockets of time?)

(Read to the end for how to “buy” them.)

My advice??

Don’t. Don’t try to be “productive”.?

Unless that activity is life-threatening or not doing it creates an unacceptable risk, don’t use these pockets of time to write emails.

In fact, trying to write emails in between meetings actually creates risks caused by you not being fully present and therefore not contributing optimally to thinking, decision-making and relationships.

Coach-Leaders understand that being present for meetings is a different cognitive activity to writing emails.?

Meetings involve real-time interaction with others. The coach-leadership skills we need to apply in real-time include:

1. Quickly building and then protecting a high-trust environment?
2. Active listening to understand and notice nuance and omissions
3. Checking the group energy and adjusting our tone of voice
4. Choosing our words for maximum receptivity
5. Observing non-verbal communication signalling buy-in, hesitation, resistance, or even distraction
6. Regulating our own emotions to things we disagree with so as to respond in ways that don’t shut down discussions or degrade outcomes
7. Coaching team members to articulate and elaborate on thoughts
8. Acknowledging others for their contributions, achievements and expertise
9. Quick processing and thinking to land clean (i.e. not loaded or leading) questions that open up and enhance discussions
10. Checking for biases, awareness or readiness when socialising and building on ideas
11. Inviting others to contribute and surface critical and competitive factors like risks, opportunities and ideas
12. Interpreting social cues and noticing people’s values and needs, including their indirect asks
13. Encouraging exchanges that invite differences of opinion and secure alignment
14. Enquiring about consequences, alternatives, risk mitigation and back-up plans
15. Identifying what’s most important to all stakeholders, and then negotiating, influencing and trading for it
16. Keeping sight of and referencing the big picture for prioritised decision-making and stress-testing
17. Being kind and firm when challenging and holding to account
18. Demonstrating generosity and creativity for better problem-solving?

That’s a lot!

The mental load of being present can be seriously taxing because we need to be continuously engaged in these ways for extended periods of time and with multiple people.

In comparison, writing emails is a solitary, slower and less spontaneous activity where we think, reflect and craft messages, at sometimes very granular levels, to make sure there is structure and clarity.?

We spend more time in:

• Details, being precise and clearing up misunderstandings
• Responding in ways that expedite or instruct
• Building or explaining a counter-argument
• Planning and organising our thoughts and opinions
• Documenting discussions and agreements
• Grammar and sentence structure
• Re-reading and revision to avoid confusion, offence or misinterpretation

Sometimes, we benefit from taking breaks when we’re writing emails to come back to something with fresher, more considered thinking.

Don’t degrade your presence. Amplify it.

It’s hard on our brains to switch at short intervals between being present for real-time conversations and crafting emails. It’s better to block out time later in the day or the week for focused email activity, when you will do a better job of it and when you can take reflective breaks as needed.

Coach-Leaders use these pockets of time in between meetings to amplify their presence by strengthening relationships with pre- or post-meeting catch-ups, unblock a team member into action with 5-minute spot coaching, or prepare their objectives and questions for the next meeting.

Your brain needs idle time too.

Idle time — giving our brain breaks — is proven to improve our mood, boost our performance and increase our ability to concentrate and be present.

Here are some Coach-Leadership reminders for amplifying your presence:

• Step outside for daylight and sunshine mood boosting, and to regulate your body’s circadian rhythm (sleep-wake cycle)
• Take a stroll because?movement is good for the body and brain as it increases oxygen and serotonin levels, helping you think better and solve problems quicker
• Hydrate (you’re 60% water by weight) because water helps your brain cells communicate with one another and clears out toxins that impair brain function
• Eat and eat healthily to provide your brain with a steady supply of energy to stay present and contribute with clarity
• Go to the bathroom! :\
• Capture some personal notes so you’re not distracted in your next meeting
• For a quick dopamine hit, send a friend or loved one a cheeky message to stay emotionally connected, celebrate something or check-in on them

Your brain and body need energy to be present, down time to recharge and love to feel good.

It’s easy to stay seated and crack on with being “productive” but some simple habit changes can energise you, strengthen your relationships and wrap up your day feeling contentedly accomplished.

How do you buy pockets of time?

Leave meetings 5-minutes early. This helps to sharpen the agenda and contributions, and buys you a pocket of time. Remember to set expectations by telling people at the start of the meeting that you are doing that.?

People copy the language, actions and behaviours of coach-leaders because they aspire to them. The more you make your presence a habit and model it, the easier it is for others to do the same.

Sehaam Cyrene PCC — The COACH/LEAD? Coach

I teach leaders and leadership teams to use powerful coaching skills from one conversation to the next.?

COACH/LEAD? is my liberating leadership style that best equips leaders for today's challenges and a healthier working world.

My CPD Certified Programme, Leaders Who Coach? is 5-Star Rated with 10/10 NPS by graduating leaders at Accenture, Amplience, bol.com, Buffer, Cancer Research UK, Claranet, elastic, ESB Networks, JP Morgan Chase, Moo, Publicis Sapient, Recycleye, Sainsbury's, Thales, Vortexa and more. "Transformational!" "Game-changer!" "Secret sauce to high-performing businesses."

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