How to Avoid Decisions Like a Pro: A Humorous Look Inside

Recently, I had the chance to speak with a few enthusiastic MBA students, fresh out of classrooms where they were taught that decision-making is all about quick, efficient, and rational choices. Their faces beamed with confidence, eager to apply what they had learned. I couldn’t help but smile, knowing what awaits them in the real world—the hilarious maze of decision-making that we all must navigate.

So, I decided to share some real-world stories, compiled from people in the industry who’ve mastered the fine art of avoiding decisions. This is just a humorous compilation of how decision-making (or avoiding it) actually works beyond the walls of academia. Get ready for some laughs, because things aren’t always as straightforward as they seem!

Why Decision Avoidance is So Common in the Professional World

Decision avoidance is common in the professional world due to various psychological and practical reasons. Primarily, the fear of making the wrong decision leads to potential blame, criticism, or regret, causing many to delay or avoid choices altogether. An overwhelming number of options can result in decision paralysis, where selecting just one seems daunting. Many wish to maintain flexibility by keeping options open, especially in uncertain environments. A lack of information or clarity can make decision-making feel risky, prompting delays until more certainty is gained. Avoiding decisions also helps sidestep responsibility and blame if outcomes are negative. Perfectionism and fear of imperfection prevent some from deciding, believing none of the options are ideal. There's also a tendency to avoid decisions to prevent conflict or maintain the status quo, which feels safer than change. Lack of confidence, procrastination, and indecisiveness contribute further, as does a belief in fate or external circumstances. People may wait for consensus or approval from others or feel fear of regret about making the wrong choice. Over time, decision fatigue can set in, and without a compelling incentive or motivation, decision avoidance becomes a natural response to complex, high-pressure environments.

The Hot Potato Pass: Passing the Buck with Style

(Garam Aaloo Fenkna)

One of the first stories I heard came from a seasoned manager who shared how he perfected the art of “The Hot Potato Pass” (???? ??? ??????). Whenever a tricky decision came his way, he would simply pass it along to someone else. He recounted the time he was asked to approve a budget for new office chairs. Rather than making a choice himself, he formed a “Seating Comfort Advisory Committee,” appointing 15 members—including two interns and the janitor. Their first meeting was scheduled three months later, and by the time they were ready to decide, the chairs they wanted had been discontinued!

The Bigger-the-Better Club: When More Means Less

(Sabko Shaamil Karo, Taaki Kuch Na Ho)

Another story came from a project manager who needed to pick a color for the new office walls. “Simple enough,” you might think. But not for this manager. Instead of choosing a color, he decided to make the decision more… collaborative. He expanded the “Color Selection Club” to 42 members, including representatives from every department, from HR to IT. (???? ????? ???, ???? ??? ?? ??)

By the time everyone found a slot on their calendars for the first meeting, half of the members had either left the company or retired, and the walls remained their lovely shade of “default gray.”

The Infinite Inquiry: Drown Them in Details

(Zyada Jankari Maangne Ka Formula)

Then there was the executive who swore by the “Infinite Inquiry” method (??????? ??????? ?????? ?? ????????). Whenever an enthusiastic employee came to him with a suggestion, he would nod thoughtfully and ask for more details. “Great idea!” he would say, “But could you provide a comprehensive report on the cost implications, the impact on our synergy, and a five-year savings forecast in multiple currencies?”

Weeks went by, and the employee eventually gave up. The proposal quietly disappeared, and the executive didn’t have to make a decision at all.

The No-Go Joe Gambit: The Power of “No”

(Nahin Ji Nahin!)

A former colleague shared her experience with “No-Go Joe” (???? ?? ????!), a team member whose sole purpose seemed to be rejecting every idea. “Whenever anyone proposed something, Joe would immediately shut it down,” she explained. “‘No, that won’t work,’ ‘We’ve tried that before,’ or ‘We need more data.’ Eventually, people stopped suggesting anything new.”

Months went by without a single new decision being made. It was like being on an extended holiday where nothing ever changed!

The Jargon Jamboree: Confusion as a Strategy

(Gyaan Ki Barsaat)

One of the most entertaining stories came from a senior consultant who loved using what he called the “Jargon Jamboree” (????? ?? ?????). Whenever faced with a tough question, he would unleash a torrent of buzzwords. “We need to leverage our core competencies while synergizing our verticals to optimize key performance indicators,” he’d say.

Everyone would nod in agreement, too embarrassed to admit they had no idea what he meant. By the end of the meeting, no one dared ask for a clear decision, and the consultant got away with saying nothing at all.

The Drama Queen Maneuver: A Little Drama Goes a Long Way

(Natakbazi Ka Kamaal)

I also heard about “The Drama Queen Maneuver” (????????? ?? ????) from a finance director who faced a tough decision about implementing a new expense reporting process. Instead of quietly considering the options, she theatrically threw her hands in the air and exclaimed, “Expense reports?! Now?! With the coffee machine decision still unresolved? This is not the time!” and stormed out of the room.

No one brought up the expense reports again. Problem postponed, with a dash of drama!

The Hush Hush Tactic: The Power of Mystery

(Chup Rehne Ka Funda)

An HR manager shared her secret weapon: “The Hush Hush Tactic” (??? ???? ?? ????). When a junior colleague suggested rearranging the office to create more space, she leaned in close and whispered, “Shhh… you don’t want to know what happened the last time someone tried to move those desks.”

The colleague’s eyes widened, and they never brought it up again. Sometimes, a little mystery can save you from a lot of decisions.

The Task Black Hole: Disappear the Problem

(Kaam Ko Thande Baste Mein Dalo)

One story that really made me laugh was about “The Task Black Hole” (??? ?? ???? ????? ??? ????). A team leader talked about a report that was assigned to “Forgetful Fred,” who was notorious for never finishing anything. “Six months later,” she said, “he was still researching what needed to be done, and by that time, everyone had forgotten why the report was needed in the first place. It just vanished into the void!”

The Wisdom in Hindsight: Laughing at Our Choices

(Baad Mein Aati Hai Samajh)

After hearing these stories, I realized that decision-making in the real world is often less about logic and more about creativity—and sometimes, sheer absurdity. As one seasoned manager put it, “Looking back, it’s funny how many of our so-called ‘decisions’ were actually just creative ways of avoiding decisions.” (??? ??? ??? ?? ???)

Conclusion: Embrace the Chaos with a Smile

(Hassi Ke Saath Ghul-mil Jao)

So, to all you bright-eyed MBA students, when you finally enter the real world, don’t be disheartened if decision-making feels more like an unscripted comedy show than a serious business endeavor. It’s all part of the adventure! Embrace the chaos, use these techniques with a sense of humor, and keep smiling.

There will be days when you feel like you’re juggling flaming pins while riding a unicycle, but remember—you’re not alone in this circus. Every manager, everywhere, has faced the same comedy of choices. And when things get tough, just remember: there’s always a way to dodge, delay, or creatively sidestep your way to the next act.

Feel free to share your own decision-making adventures in the comments below. Let’s build a community where we can laugh, learn, and navigate the hilarious maze of choices together!

Disclaimer: AI tools (Gemini/ChatGpt/Grammarly/Quilbot and Consensus App) have been used during the preparation of this article.