How to Be Automatically Turned Off by Men Who Are Inconsistently Chasing You & Only Be Naturally Turned On by a Man’s Consistent Pursuit like a Queen

And this is exactly what i told him:

"Hey (name of man), I have taken some time to reflect and realized I'm looking for more consistency and intentionality in the connections I nurture. I appreciate the time we've spent, and moving forward, I'm choosing to focus on connections that are aligned to where I am in life now."

Let’s be honest—dating today is a wild ride. One minute, a guy’s texting you nonstop, flirting like he’s auditioning for "The Bachelor", and the next? He’s ghosted, left you on read, or sent the classic “Sorry, I’ve been swamped!” text. Ugh, right? The back-and-forth emotional rollercoaster feels like the modern woman’s rite of passage, but it doesn’t have to be your dating reality.

Imagine this: what if you were automatically turned off by guys who gave you breadcrumbs, ghosted you, or only showed up when they felt like it? And instead, you were only naturally drawn to men who pursued you with consistency, clarity, and intention? That’s not just some dating pipe dream—it’s actually a byproduct of healing your self-worth and embodying your feminine energy. Here’s how you can start.

Why Inconsistent Chasing Feels So Good (But Is Actually the Worst)

Let’s talk about that adrenaline rush you get when a guy who has been MIA suddenly hits you up. You’re tempted to reply, aren’t you? After all, his attention makes you feel validated—like you’re "winning" something. But here’s the catch: that little spike of excitement is coming from a place of scarcity and lack of self-worth. Inconsistent attention feeds into your unhealed unworthiness wounds, making you cling to the idea of "finally" being chosen or "pickmeshiad."

But real talk: if a guy’s hot and cold, it’s not about you. It’s about his lack of clarity and emotional availability. He’s likely chasing you because he doesn’t know what he wants—or worse, he’s keeping you around as a backup option. That kind of chase might feel flattering at first, but over time, it chips away at your self-esteem. You deserve so much better than that. A healthy empowered femininie energy woman who's so connected to her inherent worthiness is just naturally turned off and repulsed by unhealthy inconsistent chase. Like attracts like. Healed and healthy attract healed and healthy. If you still find yourself attracted to or excited by a man's inconsistency, it's a sign that you have an unconscious unworthiness wounds that is calling your attention for you to heal them.

Just a few moons ago, the wounded feminine in me was also was still pining for a man who was showing up so inconsistently, albeit, he exuded a masculine energy that naturally lit up my feminine energy like a christmas tree. He was fun to be with when he was present, he bought me flowers, paid for dates, didn't force me to sleep with him, but I wouldn't hear from him for 5 weeks sometimes.

Every time he would come back, I would start hoping that he'd finally be consistent. And every time he would disappear again, I just didn't feel good or safe.

And this catalyzed my further healing.

I knew I healed when finally I was just turned off by his inconsistency, albeit I still care about him. I still have respect and admiration for him as a human being. Because unlike the toxic criminals I used to date, who bought me stuff but were very disrespectful of me, some even physically abused me, this man's moral compass isn't broken. He's a professional athlete who follows his heart and is passionate about his sports. Still, I'm turned off romantically.

I knew I healed when I could honestly, and vulnerably communicate to him what I wanted without expecting him to be the source of it. I knew I healed when I felt detached from the outcome of me doing that. I just was secure in the knowing that when I honor what I truly desire and communicate that to a man clearly and honestly, the right man for me would step up, and the wrong men would step away.

I knew I healed when I could do all that with no drama and no apology. My past wounded and toxic narcissistic self would have raised hell before letting a man go.

And this is exactly what i told him:

"Hey (name of man), I have taken some time to reflect and realized I am looking for more consistency and intentionality in the connections I nurture. I appreciate the time we've spent, and moving forward, I'm choosing to focus on connections that are aligned to where I am in life now."

After a couple of weeks, the dude showed up to heart my IG story even though we are not following each other, which means he deliberately went to my IG for whatever his intentions were. The wounded feminine in me would have been turned on and excited by that. But my healed empowered feminine Queen is simply not feeling inspired to respond to that. I still wish him well in my heart. My desire and intention for hm is that he too will find healing, and clarity of what he truly wants and may he find it.

The healed empowered feminine Queen does not waste mental and emotional calorie on things that are not aligned with her. She fixes her crown and continues on her path and the direction she chooses and loves to take with panache.

From Chase to Pursuit: What You Should Be Looking For

What if you could rewire your mindset so that the chase—those breadcrumb texts and the emotional push-pull—didn’t do "anything" for you? What if, instead, you were only drawn to men who pursued you with intention, consistency, and confidence? That kind of shift is 100% possible once you heal your self-worth and realign with your feminine energy as I have mine.

Here’s the thing: a man’s pursuit is rooted in his clarity, confidence, and courage. A man who is serious about you won’t leave you hanging or make you question where you stand. He knows what he wants, and he’s not afraid to put in the work to show you that he’s interested. The real magic happens when you "feel" turned on by that energy—because you’re coming from a place of worthiness, knowing you deserve someone who’s all in.

Healing Your Self-Worth: The Ultimate Dating Glow-Up

So, how do you get to the point where you’re automatically turned off by inconsistent men? It starts with healing your self-worth. When you deeply believe in your own value, you won’t feel the need to entertain anyone who doesn’t meet your standards. Instead of waiting by the phone for a half-hearted text, you’ll confidently walk away from anything that isn’t aligned with the love and respect you deserve.

But healing your self-worth isn’t just about "knowing" you deserve better. It’s about "feeling" it in your bones and every cells and all of your being. When you shift your internal beliefs, your energy changes—and that’s when you start attracting high-quality men who are clear, consistent, and ready to pursue you.

In my ebook, "Awaken the High-Value Queen Within: Heal Your Self-Worth, Embody Authentic Femininity, and Manifest Your True King," I dive deep into the steps you can take to heal your core wounds, embody your most powerful feminine energy, and transform the way you approach dating. This isn’t about playing games or putting on a facade—it’s about real, sustainable inner work that leads to you naturally attracting men who are genuinely invested in you.

Empowered Feminine Queen Energy: The Key to Attracting Consistent Masculine Pursuit

Here’s a secret: your feminine energy is like a magnet for the right kind of masculine pursuit. Feminine energy isn’t about being passive—it’s about embodying confidence, worthiness, and openness to receive. When you’re aligned with your feminine power, you stop chasing. You don’t have to. Men who are aligned with your energy will pursue you, and their pursuit will feel natural, exciting, and deeply fulfilling.

A man who is in touch with his masculine energy won’t waste time with games. He’ll step up, show up, and make his intentions known. And you’ll find yourself naturally drawn to that energy—not because you need his validation, but because you respect the clarity and commitment he’s offering. This is the kind of relationship dynamic that leads to long-lasting, fulfilling love.

Ready to Shift from Chasing to Attracting?

If you’re tired of wasting time with inconsistent men and ready to experience the deep, loving pursuit you deserve, it’s time to heal your self-worth and feminine energy. Trust me when I say this transformation is powerful—and it’s the key to unlocking a whole new world of dating.

In "Awaken the High-Value Queen Within: Heal Your Self-worth, Embody Authentic Femininity and Manifest Your True King," I guide you step-by-step through the process of healing your self-worth, awakening your feminine energy, and attracting high-quality men who are ready for something real. Whether you’re looking for that life-changing relationship or just want to stop wasting time with the wrong guys, this ebook is for you.

And if you want more personalized support, I also offer one-on-one coaching to help you fully embody the queen you’re meant to be. I will help you identify your own unique wounds, limiting beliefs and disempowering dating patterns. Together, we’ll break those patterns, heal your past wounds, and create the space for love and respect to flourish in your life--self-love and self-respect first and foremost.

Final Thoughts: You Deserve the Pursuit, Not the Chase

Here’s the truth: you’re worthy of more than a guy who’s half in, half out. You deserve to be pursued by a man who knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to go after it. When you heal your self-worth and realign with your feminine energy, you won’t even be tempted by inconsistent attention. Instead, you’ll feel empowered to only entertain the men who show up for you—consistently, clearly, and purposefully.

Ready to get started? Head over to https://wynneljoycoling.com to grab my ebook and learn more about my coaching programs. It’s time to stop chasing and start attracting.