How to be authentic?

Ever noticed how it's almost second nature to share the highs, successes, and positive messages on social media or in our day-to-day interactions? Positive emotions are often championed as authentic, while expressing negative feelings is sometimes unfairly stigmatised. Let's flip the script: sharing and acknowledging negative emotions is not a sign of weakness, but a testament to resilience and authenticity. ????

The Positivity Bias: In our culture, there's a societal preference for positive emotions. Expressing joy, success, and happiness is not just accepted; it's celebrated. Positive vibes are contagious, and they contribute to creating a vibrant, uplifting atmosphere. But here's the catch: this emphasis on positivity can inadvertently create a taboo around expressing negative emotions and also create a distance from the experiences of the people around you. Imagine being positive all throughout COVID-19 lockdown and 'enjoying the welcome break' everyday for 2 years. We became humans in the pandemic, we spoke about our true feelings despite the perceived negative impact and we all validated each other. Life was hard.

The Challenge of Negative Emotions: Sharing negative feelings is often perceived as more challenging. Why? Well, expressing vulnerability, sadness, or struggles can be met with discomfort, judgment, or the fear of burdening others. It's not that people don't experience negativity; it's that the environment often discourages its open expression and to dig beyond the surface feeling of "yes, I am fine" requires true pause and reflect of how are you actually feeling. When you try to dig beyond the layers you are met with years of superficial answers and "yes, I am fine" statements.

Psychological Insights: From a psychological perspective, there's a reason behind this phenomenon. The positive bias aligns with the human tendency to seek rewards and avoid threats. Positive emotions are associated with rewards and safety, making them more socially acceptable. Conversely, negative emotions may be suppressed due to the fear of social repercussions. At the very least inside your family and closest friends you need to cultivate a space where authenticity is not only welcomed but expected.

The Importance of Authenticity: Suppressing negative emotions can have detrimental effects on mental health. Acknowledging and expressing these feelings is a crucial aspect of emotional intelligence. It's not about dwelling on the negative but recognising that a holistic emotional experience includes both highs and lows.

Creating Safe Spaces: As leaders and colleagues, it's essential to create environments where individuals feel safe expressing their authentic emotions. This involves fostering empathy, active listening, and destigmatising negative feelings. Recognising that vulnerability is a strength and a step towards personal growth can transform workplace dynamics.

Breaking the Taboo: Let's challenge the narrative that expressing negative emotions is a sign of weakness. It takes strength and courage to be authentic about struggles and challenges. By doing so, we not only contribute to our own mental well-being but also create a culture of understanding and support.

That is my work today through this article, today I am frustrated with the tone of discussion nationally around people who struggle and some days I don't know if it will get better, but still I commit to this purpose.