How to Be Assertive Without Being Perceived as Difficult

Hello, my fabulous LinkedIn community! ??

I recently did a LinkedIn live all about this topic and it was so popular I thought I'd summarize it for you. Or you can watch the replay here:

Let’s talk about something that comes up again and again in coaching sessions, leadership discussions, and team meetings: How can I be assertive without coming across as difficult, aggressive, or pushy?

If you’ve ever hesitated to speak up, worried about how you might be perceived, or struggled to get your point across in a way that lands well—this one’s for you.

Because here’s the truth: being assertive is a skill—one that you can develop, refine, and master. And when you do, you’ll find yourself commanding more respect, influencing others more effectively, and leading with confidence.

So, let’s dive into the how of it all. ??

Assertiveness vs. Aggressiveness: The Fine Line

The mistake many people make is thinking assertiveness is just a lighter version of being aggressive—it’s not.

?? Aggressiveness is often reactive, emotional, and driven by impulse. It can come across as combative or dismissive.

?? Assertiveness is about clarity, confidence, and control. It’s about making your point with poise, presence, and persuasion.

You can be strong without being hostile. You can hold your ground without alienating others. The key is in how you deliver your message—your words, your tone, your body language.

Your Voice is Your Calling Card ???

The first thing people notice when you speak is your voice—and how you use it sets the tone for how you are perceived.

? Projection matters – Speak clearly and with purpose. You don’t need to be loud, but you do need to be heard. ? Pace and pauses – Rushing through your words makes you sound uncertain. Slow down, breathe, and own the space. ? Strength without sharpness – You can be firm without sounding harsh. A warm but authoritative tone is your best asset.

?? Try this: Instead of saying, “I need to say something here,” try “I’d like to expand on that point.” It shifts your contribution from demanding to collaborative—while still asserting your presence.

Words Matter: How to Disagree Without Conflict

Disagreeing doesn’t have to mean confrontation. It’s all in how you frame it.

?? Instead of: “I completely disagree with that.” ?? Try: “I appreciate that perspective, and I’d like to offer an alternative view.”

?? Instead of: “That won’t work.” ?? Try: “That’s an interesting idea. Have we considered this approach as well?”

It’s not about watering down your message—it’s about ensuring your message is heard rather than triggering defensiveness.

What to Do When Someone Interrupts You

We’ve all been there. You’re mid-sentence, making a key point, and—bam!—someone jumps in and talks over you.

Here’s how to handle it with grace and control:

1?? Pause. Take a breath. Don’t rush to respond.

2?? Place your hand on the table (or another grounding position) to physically assert presence.

3?? Acknowledge and redirect: ?? “I hear you, Sam. Let me finish my thought, and then I’d love to get your perspective.”

?? The key? Stay calm, maintain eye contact, and continue speaking without letting the interruption derail you.

Navigating Difficult Personalities in Meetings

There’s always that person in the room. The one who interrupts, dominates the conversation, or dismisses other opinions.

So how do you handle them?

? Preempt the disruptor – If you know someone always takes over, say upfront: “Let’s make sure we hear from multiple perspectives today.”

? Call them in, not out – Instead of challenging them head-on, invite them into the discussion: “Bill, I know you have strong thoughts on this—let’s also hear what others have to say.”

? Use strategic silence – Sometimes, the most powerful response is to pause and let them feel the discomfort of overstepping.

? Ask a direct question – If someone is passive-aggressive or dismissive, ask: “Help me understand your perspective on this.” This forces them to articulate their stance without escalating tension.

Final Thought: The Power of Poise

Assertiveness isn’t about being the loudest voice in the room. It’s about:

? Owning your space.

? Speaking with clarity and confidence.

? Choosing your words wisely.

? Balancing strength with warmth.

And most importantly? It’s about practice.

?? Want to feel more confident speaking up? Try incorporating just one of these techniques into your next meeting or conversation. Then, build from there.

The more you own your voice, your words, and your presence, the more you’ll find yourself naturally stepping into true leadership.

I’d love to hear from you: What’s one assertiveness challenge you’ve faced? Drop a comment below—I’ll be reading and replying! ??

Until next time, stay strong, stay confident, and keep using your voice. ??

— Gina

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