How to ask for what you need or for what you want and not be NEEDY and FEARFULL?

You probably know this saying “Ask and you shell receive” I think we all heard that.

The question is do we know how to ask?

How comfortable we are having uncomfortable conversations to ask for what we need or we want?

First of all nobody does well when they are self-conscious simply because we are not designed to be self-conscious.?You may not even be conscious of the fact that you are self-conscious because you have been behaving that way for 40 years that’s what you learn at home and at school, you think too much if others are gong to like you, what they will think about you and if you are going to fit in.

So let’s go back to having uncomfortable conversations about what we want. In my personal experience working with clients the most uncomfortable subject is money. People talk more openly about sex then they talk about money.

For many people subconsciously money is something not good , something you need to fight for because there is never enough. Some subconscious beliefs are absolutely crazy and from research our beliefs go as far as 7 generations so you can only imagine how deep they go.

In a sense you are not living your life but you may be living the life of someone 7 generations ago and you don’t even realize it. It is coded in your genes and demonstrated in your behavior.

Intellectually we all know that we need money to be able to live good life and to experience things we want to experience, to take care of our families.

But on subconscious level when it comes to money there is a lot of FEAR of not having enough or even shame of having money because then others will want from us something or we may lose friends because all of a sudden, we will be different, or fear that we will change because money change people.

Money is just money I call it energy it doesn’t change anyone. Only you can change you! And you can go the way of heaven, or the way of hell depends on what YOU choose.

Remember that everything you want in life is on the other side of the FEAR. Fear is a huge umbrella for all unpleasant emotions such as shame, unworthiness to receive, guilt , helplessness, disappointment, frustration, anger, resistance, resentment few to name.

What you resist will persist in your life, this is 100% true even from my personal experience. What you avoid will run after you because simply it wants you to balance your perception about reality so you can remove subconscious blocks and become your authentic self.

Because majority of people don’t understand this they try to avoid, lie, manipulate if I’m going to use neuroscience when you do this you activate part of your primitive brain called Amygdala which does tree things makes you to ?run, fight and hide this is why it is primitive animalistic?part of the brain we all have it from evolution and it is still good have it in case there is physical danger like fire, tsunami, earthquake .

In today’s reality you can’t run , fight and hide so you pump the blood against the closed system, ?you fill your central nervous system with cortisol and adrenaline and you don’t think because your thinking brain, your neocortex has no oxygen energy, to think this is the reason why you manipulate, avoid, push, lie….

So how to ask for what you need or for what you want and not be NEEDY and FEARFULL?

First – you need to know who you are, you need to know your highest values and they are not morals they are intrinsic to you no one can be like you , you are not your insecure thinking, you are not number on your bank account, you are not number on your scale , your house or your car, or your job title.

Second – you need to know how to navigate through unpleasant emotions when asking for something and keep you heart open even when things don’t go your way. At the same time you need to know how to navigate thought unpleasant emotions coming from another person.

This is why mastering Emotional Intelligence is so important. You can have incredible intellect, but you are not going to use it if you don’t know how to master your emotions. And how to use your Emotional intelligence to tap into your intellect to create or receive what you need and want.

You are not separate from your emotions! And if you try to suppress or repress them, they will find their way out. Emotions are Energy in motion you can’t hold them you can only navigate through them ?? in a sense they work through you either you are conscious of it or not!

Many people especially in these days got stuck on money. It is not about money but about opportunities and who creates opportunity? Well you do ! So if you are in FEAR, what opportunity do you think you will create?

You can have great idea but if you talk to someone about that idea and are you are fearful they will feel it and it won’t be received well.

If you feel shame or guilt, you are not feeling worthy to receive. Energy is everything we feel each other’s energy, some people more some people less but we all feel it ??

Same thing if you need help and you are asking for help coming from place of fear and how you are going to survive people are not going to be willing to help, you are not confident you don’t know your worth.

If you are asking for something either it is money, promotion, job whatever it is for you, and you feel really good about yourself regardless your current horrible circumstances. What I mean by that you know who you are , you know your highest values, you know your worth. You understand that you are not just your name and your bank account.

You BELIEVE IN YOURSELF! That’s the knowing that everything is available to you, and there is infinite possibilities to create or to receive what you want and need. When your heart is open and you talk from place of love, joy, inspiration your request will be always received well because the other person feels your confidence and your worthiness. People like confident people.

That’s our fears that stops us from going after what we want and asking for what we need!

You also want to understand importance of having coherent heart and coherent brain, that’s the knowledge you need about yourself to help you to remember who you are and what is the purpose of life.

In other words, world around you can crash but you still can have coherent heart and coherent brain. Non one can control the way you think and feel, only YOU. And this is the mastery of self.

Majority of people give up on their dreams because few challenges comes their way and they run away to their old familiar unhappy way of living, in a sense “I’m not happy but at least I’m safe I can survive”

And they are surviving all their life, some of them get sick and may die, some of them regret on death bed that they never tried to go beyond their habitual way of thinking and being.

In today’s days you have all the information you need to create what you want. You just need to make decision to move in unknown territory. And I know you have families and bills to pay , me too I have daughter and bills to pay but it doesn’t stop me from creating what I want.

Why?

Because I have knowledge of who I’m I know how to use Emotional Intelligence to remain happy and at peace when world is crashing around me. In reality there is nothing that can stop you except if you make decision to stop yourself.

So don’t dwell on things you don’t choose, just observe them without emotions for what they are and express unconditional gratitude. Because there is another side to everything you are just not conscious of it.

Instead of moving into judgments playing the role of Victim or exaggerating yourself playing Hero book a free call with me and I will help you see things in completely different way, the way you never saw them before.

We feel our thinking and that’s shapes our perception.

When was the last time you talk to someone who was able to help you to see things differently than you think they are and to feel better, to feel amazing? And put your perception into balance, who helped you to open your heart?

I know there is a lot of lonely, busy, overworked CEO'S, Directors, Executives they have no one to talk to and think they are responsible for everything and everyone. Understand one thing you won’t be able to do that for a long time ??

Know yourself by your heart.

Trust yourself.

Love yourself.

Inspire yourself.