How To Ask The Right Question

Convo #1

"Can I talk to you, Robert?"

The question came as I walked by the doorway.

"Yep, sure! What's up?"

"Well, I was looking through the spreadsheet and I didn't see the full report from last month. Did you add it?

"Yes, I did."

"Oooookaaaay! Where did you put it?"

"I put it in the file with the others...didn't you see it?"

OK...for the sake of time. Let me stop this conversation. But, maybe you can see where this is going.

Convo #2...

"Son, how was your day?"

"Good."

.......

.....

Silence!

"Ok. Anything else?"

"Nope," responds my son as he gallops upstairs while my wife looks on in frustration.

Can you see where this one is going?

Yes. Questions. In the last newsletter, I talked about how questions are a cheat code for diving into the world of your audience. But, there IS a caveat. You must ask the 'right' questions to get the response you are looking for. When looking for engagement or more detailed answers, it's important to ask questions built to create this response. And asking the right questions is a skill that takes practice.

There are two main question types...closed and open. Closed questions usually stimulate a yes/no or direct response. Open questions give the opportunity for deeper engagement. And even then, it's important to ask the right open question.

If we go back to conversation #1 above, the manager asked a closed question and received a limited response. A more effective question would have been, "Robert, what's the best way for me to access the report from last month?"

Now, I mentally engage and begin to share where to locate it or I might ask a follow-up question to the manager..."Did you check for the second tab on the spreadsheet?"

I know what you're thinking...couldn't you have just told the manager that from the beginning and not been a jerk?

Why yes...yes I could! But, I'm learning, when someone is not focused on what you want, they may not respond in the way you expect. So, it's up to me to engage their brains a little different and open the loop.

Conversation #2...my wife and I discussed this one. She came up with several different and more engaging questions.

• Hey son, what was the best part of your day today?
• or, hey son, what was something funny that happened at school today?
• or, hey son, which part of your day felt like it was taking FOREVER? (Response: well, this conversation, mom)

OK, we have some work to do with that last question. But, we did get a chuckle.

While this might read like parenting advice, the main takeaway is BE INTENTIONAL with your questions. If your point is to get quick data, then closed questions are fine. However, if you are looking to engage on a deeper level, then use an open question which allows you to go deeper.

Questions are a POWERFUL communication and storytelling tool. Ask the RIGHT one at the RIGHT time and you'll be surprised with the results.

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