How ar you? No, how are you really?

Now I can't specifically remember where I heard this originally (I think it was the awesome Patrick Cowden or Kirsty Lewis ), but there is real power in following up your original "how are you?" questions with "No, how are you really?", and today I felt that in action...

Driving home from picking up this year's Christmas tree (partly to decorate the house, partly to bring awe to the kids, but mainly for the new kitten to rip to shreds) I witnessed something 'off' in the traffic in front of me. A car seemed to be facing the wrong way on the roundabout, and there had obviously been some sort of incident. The car found its way off the roundabout and started crawling along in the same direction that I was going. Having seen that nobody else seemed to be involved on the roundabout I followed the car in question as it made its way, very tentatively, along the road before pulling into a side street.

It would have been easy to drive on and get on with my day, but I couldn't in good conscience pass by without at least visually checking on the driver. By this point the driver had parked up in a quiet residential street, so I parked up behind it and went to check in.

As I saw the elderly gentleman at the wheel open his door and look visibly shaken I asked those powerful questions:

Me: "How are you?"

Gent: "I'm fine, I'm fine"

Me: "No, how are you really?"

Gent: "I'm a bit shook up, I don't know what happened there, and I could do with some help"

Within a few seconds I was able to establish that this gent wasn't in any fit state to drive on, and taking a look around his car it became clear that the vehicle was equally as incapable of the next step in the journey.

Neighbours came out to check, and were generous with their assistance and expertise, as well as assuring the poor gent that his car was safe and secure there, and to take his time in arranging its pick up. I helped the gent in question make a few calls and waited with him whilst a friend of his came to pick him up and take him on his way.

I'm sure that if I had decided to drive on and assume that everything was OK that it would have been, but I'm sure glad that I stopped.

So whenever the opportunity comes your way (and it doesn't have to be after any accident or incident, you can certainly be proactive with this) take the time to ask:

"How are you?

No, how are you really?"

You won't regret it