How to Approach Being Criticized
Patricia K. Flanigan, Ed.D.
Executive Director at Smart Strategies for Successful Living
Criticism is a double-edged sword. While it is usually something we don't want to hear, it just might be the spark we need to make positive changes. Before discounting someone’s criticism as irrelevant or ludicrous, take a second look. If done constructively, criticism may be well worth pursuing.
Tips for Receiving Criticism
The act of criticism is about bringing to light a person’s faults or mistakes. As recipients, our challenge rests in determining its merit and following through with a suitable response.
To accept criticism for what it is worth start with these steps.
1. Listen Actively
The first step in dealing with criticism is to listen—really listen—without immediately getting defensive. Active listening involves paying close attention to what the other person is saying, absorbing the feedback, and considering it before you respond. Sometimes, what feels like an attack is actually constructive feedback in disguise.
2. Separate the Message from the Messenger
It's easy to focus on the critic instead of the criticism itself. However, try to separate the message from the messenger. Even if you don't particularly respect the person giving the feedback, their points may still have merit. Evaluate the criticism on its own terms.
3. Seek Clarification
If the criticism isn't clear, ask for specific examples to better understand the feedback. Clarifying can help prevent misunderstandings and give you a clearer picture of what you're doing well and where you might need improvement.
4. Manage Your Emotional Response
It's natural to feel defensive, angry, or even hurt when criticized. Acknowledge your emotions, but don't let them control your response. Take a deep breath, count to ten, or take a moment to compose yourself before replying.
5. Evaluate the Criticism
Not all criticism is created equal. Evaluate the feedback objectively and consider whether it's constructive or merely critical. Constructive criticism comes from a place of wanting to help, while destructive criticism often aims to harm or discourage.
6. Extract the Growth Opportunity
Look for the lesson in the criticism. Is there a kernel of truth that you can use to improve? Criticism, especially when it's constructive, can be a valuable opportunity for personal or professional development.
7. Acknowledge and Apologize if Necessary
If the criticism is valid, acknowledge it and apologize if necessary. This doesn't mean you have to agree with everything said, but recognizing areas where you can improve can demonstrate humility and a willingness to learn.
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8. Show Gratitude
It might seem counterintuitive, but thank the person for their feedback, especially if it's well-intentioned. Expressing gratitude doesn't mean you agree with the criticism, but it acknowledges the time and thought the other person put into offering it.
9. Decide on a Course of Action
Once you've processed the criticism, decide whether and how to act on it. Sometimes the best response is to make a change based on the feedback. Other times, after careful consideration, you might choose to stay the course.
10. Keep the Big Picture in Mind
Finally, keep everything in perspective. One piece of criticism doesn't define you or your work. Learn what you can from the experience, then move forward with renewed focus and determination.
Keep in mind…no form of criticism can take away from all the positive things you do well. Experience the growth that originates from criticism, but don’t let it define who you are or make you feel less worthy.
**Originally Article Published at: CLICK HERE.?
**View our companion video on how to approach being criticized at: CLICK HERE.
Written by: Patricia K. Flanigan, Smart Strategies for Successful Living
Patricia K. Flanigan is a vibrant and passionate advocate for quality living and aging. She has dedicated over 28 years to working in higher education, but now enjoys a more peaceful lifestyle as the founding director and writer of Smart Strategies for Successful Living. In her free-time, she cherishes spending quality time with her family and friends, as well as getting out into nature with her beloved Samoyed dog, Wylie. Patricia loves helping others age gracefully and shares her wisdom through her content to promote the ultimate success in living.
For your link to Smart Strategies for Successful Living, CLICK HERE.
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