How Anger Makes Me Human & The Painful Truths It Hides

Your rage might be sending you signals you fail to read. At the end of the article I give you dope on what your anger could be actually telling you.

A call to women with the ‘crazy bitch’ condition- Unite!

We are becoming a sympathetic society delving into & accepting the human condition. How about the human condition of being a woman? Or rather, the human condition of being a woman with anger issues.

If you are a woman prone to temper fits, tell me, have you been embarrassed, shamed & hurt by your very human state?

Would a guy have been able to bear the weight of his temper easier, under the shade of it being a bro thing?

I am an HAP (Highly Anxious Person). I get angry often. I am also a woman. I lose my cool the way 2-year-old throws tantrums. I yell till I am blue in the face. I hurl abuses too.

I tried to hide my anger for years.

But a temper the size of the Titanic is difficult to conceal. In my 20s, my anger issues were revealed for the World to see. Others were shocked & embarrassed. The boy with a crush on me was in denial. That is till he decided to pretend I didn’t exist anymore. I was labelled a ‘crazy bitch.’

‘Aren’t decorum & proper behavior the natural offshoots of womanly existence?’ they said. You guys bear babies & nurture your families for God’s sake! How can you not keep your anger in check?! How can you even get angry to begin with?

A penny for every time I’ve been taunted or encouraged to control my emotions. The shame I felt when I realized I didn’t have a tap that could open & close my emotional valves at will.

PMS (pre-menstrual syndrome) just made it worse. The anger & the expectations from others that I would hold it together.

I’ve suffered from anxiety for most of my adult life.

Anxiety comes hand in hand with stress. Stress is like the unwelcome stepbrother lingering in your bedroom curious about your boyfriends. You never know when he will use his knowledge to unfair advantage.

We HAPs feel threatened by people or situations all the time. Combine it with a sense of naivety & this makes us vulnerable the way a toddler is. We often become the target of unkind bullies. When we feel cornered, we lash out in rage. I manage my anger better now, but it wasn’t so in the past. When I got into a rage, I growled like a provoked animal. Not womanly at all & especially at odds with my petite, pixyish frame. But I am not kidding, no!

My primal brain held the reins when I was angry. All it was trying to do was protect me. But I didn’t know it at the time. I would flog myself mentally till I was angry at being angry.

I’ve had broken relationships from my anger showing up without notice. I’ve lost friendships dear to me. I have been carted off unwillingly by family to a therapist to deal with my rage. I have even locked myself up in a room so as not to attack my spouse.

I ignored my over-reaction as a child.

Over-reaction is a big sign of anxiety. Over-reaction had become so assimilated in my system that it became my normal. I was often surprised when a well-meaning someone called it out.

Men or women, modern living has made us all more anxious. That unwelcome step brother stress makes an appearance when anxiety shows up & with him, the monster anger.

Before you & I label anger a monster though, maybe we take a pause from judging? Is anger as bad as it is made out to be?

In my newsletter I talk about how your rage signals the very human nature of your existence & what it is trying to tell you.

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